It's really fucking good. The writing is definitely the highlight, and your strong suit. Don't let a lack of artwork for weight gain stages deter you from just writing the whole ass script to the rest of the vn and posting it, I honestly don't care if you finish the game part. The gameplay loop is fine as it is, but you could make the game less mouse-heavy by placing the "map" button in the main context menu as an option below the other things you can do in a scene.
I'm a big fan of how much money a day's paycheck gives the player. It makes it way less of a chore to stock up on cash before marathoning the weight gain stages of one character.