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for the try to resit the change you could do a Chameleon as they are very changeable and change color and adapt a lot. So it would be fitting for when you try not to change you end up changing into something that changes all the time

 

Another possible option would be a slug as they represent stagnation.

oh yeah that makes a lot of sense. I'll keep that in mind thanks. I'm working on another story now, as I lost a lot of progress on this one when my comptuer died and started another one. it's coming along well though. if you got a discord I can give you a preview