Sometimes it's not a matter of thinking that, you have to be more positive and the perfect person for you will one day arrive.
Yeah, you're right. Acting Gay just to hide your feelings from a female individual is not a good way to build up feelings.. I try to be positive but I always expect mockery and insults. I'm chill when people truly knows who I am and if I'm close with them.. It's so cringe saying it but I'm like a tsundere in some way. 