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Really interesting story, very engaging. I included it in part 1 of my WAG Challenge compilation video series, if you would like to take a look :) https://youtu.be/qlJjXYceV64
...Just noticed that my first comment isn't here for whatever reason. The comment below is 2/2, and since I don't know where 1/2 went, I'm going to retype it now.
The story is good, and the writing keeps things moving along at a nice pace, and keeps me interested in the story and characters. I thought it was fairly well done overall-- and then the twist happened. Lapin was controlling me all along? Really? This just seems to come out of nowhere, with no buildup or reason for it. Plus, I was making choices throughout the game, as the Captain. I wasn't being forced to make those choices, or being controlled into making certain choices, and therefore, the Captain wasn't either. So, in other words. the mechanics of the game itself contradict the twist. This also makes Lapin saying "Cut the strings" at the beginning make no sense, because why would she tell you to do that if she's controlling you and doesn't WANT you to do that?
[Ack, forgot to mention: Spoilers!]
So, the story is alright, and the writing keeps things interesting, but the twist is sudden, random, and, in my opinion, undermines the game as a whole.
Oh, I'm also in the WAG challenge! My game is called Literate, and you can find it here: http://itch.io/jam/wag-challenge/rate/29610