Wow! Thanks for submitting to the jam! It definitely has a surreal, eerie feeling to it. I like the use of alerts, too. The sense of place in the story is really strong (and the background helps too).
I think a perfect example of how your translation both helps and hinders the story is the sentence, "in the night the meadows resound with tree frogs squawks." The word "resound" is so rich and not often used in English so the thoughtfulness of the translation really helps there. It's so specific and original I love it! And then the extra "s" on "frogs" is just a small typo which distracts just a tiny bit.
Overall, I really like it - incredibly original and creative. Would love to see more!
Comments
Wow! Thanks for submitting to the jam! It definitely has a surreal, eerie feeling to it. I like the use of alerts, too. The sense of place in the story is really strong (and the background helps too).
I think a perfect example of how your translation both helps and hinders the story is the sentence, "in the night the meadows resound with tree frogs squawks." The word "resound" is so rich and not often used in English so the thoughtfulness of the translation really helps there. It's so specific and original I love it! And then the extra "s" on "frogs" is just a small typo which distracts just a tiny bit.
Overall, I really like it - incredibly original and creative. Would love to see more!