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A jam submission

OPR Writing Jam#3-Threshold of DoomView project page

OPR Writing Jam #3
Submitted by Hobby Fuzion — 16 hours, 33 minutes before the deadline
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Play book

OPR Writing Jam#3-Threshold of Doom's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Adherence to the Theme#44.2114.211
Enjoyment#113.5263.526
Overall#123.7893.789
Originality#133.6323.632

Ranked from 19 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Pretty good how it made the reader guess who Marlan was letting in. Almost expected a late save from the Battle Brothers, but that ending worked a lot better.

Submitted

interesting concept. The idea of abandonment being a central theme is powerful. Nice work. 

Developer(+1)

Thank you, part of that emerged as a natural consequence  from the rapid editing process to fit the one page parameter which I found very interesting and challenging. In reading the other submissions I think the format drives everyone to focus, the horror pieces stand out, the character pieces have been really good, and the humor pieces have been genuinely funny. This has been a fun jam.

Submitted

The story builds up very effectively to a powerful and terrible final moment. I loved it.

Developer

Thank you so much for your kind comments, I am very glad you enjoyed it!

Submitted(+1)

Threshold manages to feel like it was ripped straight out of a Horus Heresy novel, I love the writing style and I think it carries the piece really well.

Developer(+1)

that’s quite high praise, I am very glad you seemed to enjoy it!