To preface this, I only got about 10k words (rough estimate) into the story before I felt no desire to continue. If you want to denounce this review as "ramblings from a hater" or "someone who just doesn't get it" or however you might feel, then I can't stop you. I just want to share my thoughts -- take it or leave it.

I'll start with the positives: The character art is pretty good; looks professional. The backgrounds are impressive and well-made! The music, while I can't recall any specific tracks, fit nicely with the game and were never intrusive or felt misplaced. Sound effects were generally placed well, and the coding + visuals for UIUX is well-done. Nothing presentation wise feels out of place, clashing, or rushed. I had no run-ins with any bugs or typos. Overall, it feels professional. 

However, the lack of a history/log function is detrimental in my eyes. It is such a huge QOL feature -- one that I rely on frequently -- so I cannot understand the decision to can it here. Sure, there is the back button, but in a kinetic novel, I would rather just be able to view multiple text boxes at once rather than one at a time. I feel the back button is most beneficial in stories with choices rather than ones without. Very jarring decision in my opinion, but it seems to be the standard in your games?

Most of my issues lie with the characters, pacing, the writing itself, and the way the game page presents this product.

I went into this story knowing of the taboos -- namely that of the main couple being cousins. While I'm not personally into incest, I've seen you sing praises on social media about these two and loving them dearly, so I wanted to check it out. Perhaps I made a mistake letting this be my first true exposure to the two, as this story seems it is more "for the fans" than for any outsiders, which is a perfectly fine decision on your part. 

The writing style is really rough at times, I feel. The constant use of parentheses in particular made narration come off incredibly clunky. Many cases of parentheses could've either been cut entirely -- as they'd add nothing too valuable to the story -- or they could've been reworded to just be entirely new sentences. For example, take this line:

"He stubbed out his cigarette, then shifted a little closer to Yuel on the couch (Yuel tensed. He found it hard to be in close proximity to Tavi now, after witnessing him in the shower), then wound an arm about one of his slender shoulders."

This all technically being one sentence is unnecessary, and overall just doesn't flow well. Had it been broken up into pieces, it could've been far easier to read. It features unnecessary details: the audience can assume Yuel tensed up due to some sort of discomfort and/or unwanted feelings toward Tavi. There are countless things that happened in the story thus far that the reader could've seen as a contributing factor to Yuel's stiff body language.

For a better flow, why not remove the parentheses, and cut down the text box like so?:

"He stubbed out his cigarette, then shifted a little closer to Yuel on the couch. Yuel tensed as Tavi wound an arm about one of his slender shoulders."

This is just one example of how this sentence can be rewritten, but I think it illustrates what I mean fine enough. It allows the reader to come to their own conclusion about Yuel's body language, removes the clunky formatting, and is overall just cleaner to read. Not every text box needs to be filled to the brim with words, nor does every detail in a story need to be present.

This was a very prominent issue for me, and it made the 50k word count seem far less impressive nor exciting. The thought of reading every line of dialogue felt more like a chore than a good use of my time. Like, in that intro: did we need to know so much about Tavi's maybe-Greek neighbor who gives him free food? Did we need multiple text boxes dedicated to talking about a character who adds nothing to the narrative?

But enough about the writing style. Going on to the story itself ----
Yuel's initial conflict is something I can get behind: the idea of an alpha who is ashamed of having any sort of sexual desire, who's overall just not fitting the traditional mold of an "alpha", and dealing with a rut, is a decent set-up. Tavi, on the other hand, being an omega who is a fairly perfect "alpha" stereotype compliments this well. While it's pretty predictable where this story will go -- what with it being a porn game and all -- that isn't inherently a bad thing.

Going based on how this story is presented on the page as "cute/fluffy omegaverse", I did not imagine the dubcon/SA to be as prevalent as it was. The scene of Tavi foisting the handjob upon Yuel was difficult for me to sit through (not to mention the aftermath). Yuel expresses some level of discomfort with the idea beforehand, insinuating again and again that they cannot -- or at least should not -- do anything because they are both cousins and alphas. Tavi ignores this and insists he's only touching Yuel "for medical reasons" and that he's "simply helping out". He talks dirty, calling Yuel a slut, even though moments before, Yuel was putting himself down for being so horny it brought him shame. The scene made my skin crawl, and it instantly put a bad taste in my mouth about Tavi's character.

Then, the aftermath: when Yuel expresses that what was done between the two of them wasn't love, but completely one-sided on Tavi's part. Tavi then retorts, saying that that isn't the case, because Yuel came. 

Genuinely, what the fuck? 

In what world can this dynamic be read as cute/wholesome? This is the exact logic used to fuel rape culture. That, and the idea pushed that what happened was fine because Yuel "actually wanted it" despite all his protests. Sure, maybe he was "just being tsundere". Maybe he did immediately jack off huffing Tavi's clothes after the handjob, (which just felt like incredibly rushed character development to me, what with how he was so vocally against jacking off and incest), but even if he "actually wanted it", that shouldn't serve as a justification for nonconsensual touching. 

Tavi's later justifications for cousin/cousin incest later on made this worse for me, because he continuously brought up the law, and how "the heart wants what it wants..." "...no matter whether this is illegal". I do not want to root for this man or this couple. I do not want to read 40k more words of these two bantering and Tavi being an overall creep/criminal in a "fluffy" visual novel.

It doesn't bother me that you chose to write these subjects -- it's fiction, so you're free to do what you want -- it's the fact that you chose to present the game the way you did with no proper warning of this content. Put a dubcon warning at the VERY least. It is incredibly irresponsible to advertise the game like this. 

(Not to mention, the page for the Omegaverse game jam requests that creators provide proper content warnings in their pages, which you did not do.)

Maybe the writing gets better later on -- I don't know, and frankly, I don't have any interest in knowing.

TL;DR:

While the presentation is very solid, the writing itself can sometimes come across as clunky and hard to read. Tavi as a character is incredibly unlikeable here, and this game NEEDS a content warning for dubcon/SA. If the reader is already attached to these characters, they might have a fun time reading this story. However, as an outsider, I simply could not get invested and finish the game.