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EngineRpg Maker MV
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I think you've got an interesting demo here. The foundation for everything, story, gameplay and characters are good, but you've got a lot that needs to be improved. Even for a demo, it feels very incomplete, and there's a lot of bugs. I know a month is not a long time, but I would have hoped for a little more polish.
I'll start with the pros! Your story is fun, and the cutscenes are really nicely done! Thanks for using my shocked expression generator pieces by the way!! I would have appreciated getting a mention in the credits for my art though ^^'''
The battle retry option is a really great idea. The item and skill descriptions are fun too.
So for the cons/bugs;
There's quite a lot of typos. Some are just grammar, and others are really hilarious misspellings such as Mrs. Gulry calling Oden a 'sweatheart'.
After leaving the prison, the BGS drips isn't told to stop, and so can be heard throughout the rest of the game.
The mapping needs work. I'd recommend asking for some advice on the forums. Personally, I think they're all just way bigger than they need to be. You can get away with this for the exterior, but the interior maps could really do with shrinking. You've got a few tiling errors too where you've just layered things a little weird and it doesn't look great.
Some of the events just don't work. In the prison it seems like your guards are saying two lines at once, and most of the choices seem to be broken, such as trying to pray in the church or read the crazy chicken mans diary, it doesn't do anything. You also need to be consistent about whether or not your npcs should have stepping animations or not, it's kind of strange when only half of them do.
https://imgur.com/wViLsqb The namebox and direction fix needs changing here.
https://imgur.com/a/gcC61 Passability error.
https://imgur.com/a/P92Ht You need to turn off direction fix here, as he's always facing forward no matter which way he walks. Also, he can block door, and I had to quit the game since he wouldn't leave. To fix this, use Yanfly's Region Restrictions and create a region that blocks events from walking in front of all of the doors. This will also help stop the horses from walking out of the stables.
My advice would probably be to shrink and focus on details instead of making such a big world, that, for this part of the story, isn't really necessary. The maps are so big and easy to get lost in that it took me 43 mins, although I felt like there was only 20 mins of story. I don't know what the purpose of the disgusting liquid in the prison was, the mysterious parchment and code in the fireplace or even how to free Jonny. I defeated the guard and bought White Coffee, but didn't know how to distract him.
If you can get all of this sorted, I think you'll really have a great start for this story you're planning! It's got obvious potential, but the lack of polish is going to put people off. With IGMC over, hopefully you'll have an easier time. Keep up the good work! :D
Wow, first of all i would like to say thank you very much for playing. Secondly i would like to apologize for not giving you proper credit that you deserve, ran out of time at the end and the credits part was kind of rushed.
Your insight is very valuable to me. This was my very first time making an rpg maker game and i think it was a bit too ambitious for me. I spent the first week of the jam brainstorming and writing out story arcs with my brother. We fleshed out a complete world with multiple conflicts and several plot twists... but this was all in vain because i had absolutely no idea how to use rpg maker xD, so the next week was spent solely on learning the engine to the best of my ability. Then the remaining days i was super rushed just trying to create some content.
Now to address the cons. The "sweathart" lol... omg that is so embarrassing; I cannot stop laughing. Its one of those lines that i read a multitude of times and i never caught it. As for the church, i meant to provide a story arc where you have to prove your devotion to the church and gain access to several different things such as spells and new companions. I added several "factions" like this where you have the ability to befriend them such as the woodland bandits. Unfortunately the church stuff never got implemented and i used the pray lady simply as a way to refresh the party quickly for testing xD.
As on how you free Jonny, you were supposed to get an empty bottle fill it with the disgusting liquid and mix it with the white coffee to create something that could be given to guard in order to "knock" him out(lets just say i don't think he makes it). You would then be able to find them in the Whispering Woods where you may collect a reward from their sick grandmother(who is now better) and Jonny or Anita would join your party. Again due to time constraints i was unable to get the "mixture" mechanic implemented.
The chicken man... where to start with him . I had an entire sub arc planned where you meet this crazy man that seems to be obsessed with chickens. The diary entries were supposed to give you a clue as to the root of his obsession as well as all the stuff in his house. You could then through dialogue and the discoveries that you've made befriend him. At that point he would tell you a deep dark secret that only a few people of this world know and send you on a small chicken related adventure haha. It was supposed to be a lighthearted break from the main story, but again i ran out of time in the end so all that remain was the placeholder stuff.
I really enjoyed making this game. I learned a lot of new things and got to use a new tool. In the future i definitely will try and keep my scope smaller, or at least work on the core mechanics and story first before i start to branch off. I overestimated my ability to master Rpg maker mv in such a short amount of time and because of that the game suffered. Again thank you so much for your advice, It was very helpful :)