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Left has that free software on fleek 😺👌

How long until Itch puts books on the front page? I have fans in Ukraine begging for my own novels to get recognition. Well, just the one, but she’s real great, though.

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I never thought I’d see the day a corporation would reply to one of my complaints… 😿

Can’t wait for my browser to load megabytes worth of Google fonts on my 100kbps connection when the original fonts were doing their jobs just fine. 🤔

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I’ve done a lot of reading on indie games literature, and I’ll tell prospecting developers right now that one of the worst things you can do for your game is to undervalue it. As Seth Godin says, the instant you start charging money for your project - even a penny - you close the gates for thousands of potential customers. Fortunately this isn’t like the mobile scene where every game has to be a coercive free-to-play title in order to make any impact whatsoever; you can still charge cash and make a quick buck.

Nobody knows how to make an indie game a hit, but a lot of people fool themselves for a very long time. Without getting into marketing, one of the surest ways to stand out in a crowd is to price your game as a valuable, though reasonable number: something like $8.95 or $14.45, if not more. Anything higher than $19.95 and you’ll be fighting a losing battle against the cheap bastards who don’t wanna patronise the arts. If you can sell a game for that high, it’s time to get out of the indie slump.

Of course, all this is contributing to the artificial scarcity epidemic and damages free culture by making it so only a particular set of people with expendable money are able to play your games. I would advise, for the good of your reputation, to make non-profitable games free after a length of time, say a few months, as well as releasing it as free (and open-source) software for the good of future generations. The world is full of parasites, and being generous to your customers is one of the quickest ways to earn a loyal fanbase, and a loving set of patrons for all.

Why are you doing this to me?

One should not publish their work in a public forum and be surprised when the public criticises what they have published.

It would be enough insofar as the work was made by the developer, for the developer. But it was published for the enjoyment of those who are not them, and if I do not enjoy the work, then it is flawed in how it was made.

tell your friends they can shamelessly advertise on my blog if they keep making the payments

Feast: https://kratzen.neocities.org/reviews/2017-10/things-that-arent-real-review.html

in about twelve hours i’m posting an update at https://kratzen.neocities.org/ and you’re gonna be double bamboozled.

you’re going fucking shit yourself boy.

hahahaha he fucking did it the fucking madman hahaha i don’t even have twitter thanks for the money suckaaaaaa hahahahaha

It was ten out of FIVE you dope.

Nah, nah, nah. Forget about that OLD review. This one’s the real review right here: https://kratzen.neocities.org/reviews/2017-10/ultra-adhd-review-2.html





If you’re still having a toss-up over whether to give this one a read, I did a little “press release” over on my boy Kratzen here: https://kratzen.neocities.org/articles/2017-10/tao-of-mario-release.html

it's been five minutes why aren't i rich yet

bout time you ponied up https://ko-fi.com/yourboyfroge


time to give this game i never played a blatantly inflated score so i can help my boy make a cool Robert Borden

also if you lose the game jam i’ll give you ten bucks, which is infinitely more money than we made off TDPOF

post more vaporwave

There’s actually some really interesting philosophy about making money with free software; in fact, one of the definitions of free software is you have the right to sell your work. The majority of free software projects are build to be free software from the ground-up, and most commercial projects were designed to be sold. But as Richard Stallman says: “You either control your software, or the software controls you”, no matter how benign the software is.

Open-sourcing your work doesn’t mean you give up control over it, and you still have absolute authority over everything that goes on in it. What it does though is basically outsources the boring work of debugging and fixing stupid issues to the Internet. It’s like having your own army of helper monkeys while you’re the dictator that determines who and who can’t contribute.

It also allows your work to be included in games compilations, Linux distribution libraries, and by the desperate free software press who is usually stuck reviewing the same programs that have existed for twenty years. A happy consequence is it allows your work to be known for much, much longer than any proprietary software. If you’ve heard of Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup, Nethack, or games emulators like Dolphin, you’ll know these are all massively popular free software applications. Even the Quake engine is free software, allowing it to be relevant and used for decades after!

Licenses range from monstrously dense (Gnu GPL) to as simple as it gets (MIT). Even if some aspects of your game is copyrighted, you can still apply a license to the work and make everything else under that license, as you’re disclaimed from finding the appropriate “rights” in order to put copyrighted work under such. It’s something you should do as early as your first public release, so that people can start contributing on the very first day.

If you want your game to be copylefted, E.G. all distributions must have their source code released, then the GPL is universally known as such, though nobody understands it. For the only restriction being attribution, try the MIT Expat license, though you still have to enforce the thing for it to be effective and it’s practically impossible to know if anybody has used your code in proprietary software. If you want to save yourself any and all legal troubles and obligations, existing in Copyright Nirvana, use the public-domain dedicator CC0. An exhaustive list of licenses is at https://www.gnu.org/licenses/license-list.html .

Personally, I consider any notion of copyright to be a cultural cancer that damages everything it touches, putting the wants of the individual against the rights of the majority. It kills ideas before they even form, forces artists to self-censor out of fear they’re violating the law, and allows businesses and artists sweeping powers to sue, censor, and imprison anybody who uses any copyrighted material, including those which can be infinitely reproduced for free and forever and as such are economically worthless.

That’s why I dedicate all my work into the public domain; as the Degenerates say, “the less laws in our lives, the better”. It’s a matter of moral integrity, you see, because the only way to stop yourself from doing harm is to not have the capacity to do harm. CC0 is also simple to understand, even by people without a legal background. For a better formatted version, you can use mine at https://kratzen.neocities.org/copying.html , minus everything before “Statement of Purpose”.

If you publish your game commercially and make lots of money, you’ll have the honour of being the world’s first commercially-viable public domain video game. Unless you publish it on Steam with DRM, then it won’t really be free at all. Everything that you can’t legally license under CC0 will still apply under their respective licenses, and it’s up to the audience to seek those out, and to you to comply with them.

yeah opinions happen sometimes

Never being in a position where somebody has fairly criticised me, I have no idea how to put myself in your shoes. I did get a picture of somebody flipping off my website, though. What would I do to them? Ignore them to death?

I remember millionaire ad man David Ogilvy being disinherited by his mother on the grounds that “he would make more money than was good for him without me”. I take it you’re similar; you already have the marketing portion down pat, which is more than I could ever do with my games.

The impressive part isn’t that you did that; it’s that, in the first place, you convinced a rag-tag team of presumably unpaid members to join you, which I was never able to do despite having max Charisma.

In the second place, it’s that you made other games and weren’t discouraged when they crashed and burned, and they must have, because I’ve never heard of you before FIGHT KNIGHT. I did one. Once. And then I stopped, because I was but a husk of a man.

But you seem to know what you’re doing, if only because of that Ninja Baseball Bat Man avatar.

This review is fresh off the presses, though not as fresh as the newest version. If the game magically turns into something absolutely tits-up amazing, I’ll be forced to play again.

Anyway, this was a disappointment to me, especially considering how long I’ve followed your Tumblr for. I would have thought it more visceral considering the title, but I suppose not. Kratzen gives it two stars out of five, and you should feel lucky to earn that, given how miserable I felt during it.

I feel like the only dude reading this novel. Hah!

Anyway, I liked it a lot. A lot more than I probably should have, given how I didn’t like the writing too much, though on the whole it is a good title, and I was forced to give it three out of five stars, which is indeed a pretty good rating and one which nobody should feel ashamed to receive.


To say I was pleasantly surprised with this game is an understatement. To be honest, I expected it to be hot garbage, as I expect everything nowadays. But it was, as I never get to say, pretty gooooood.

Enjoy Kratzen’s four-star review of this deserving title. Why? Because it was the most fun I’ve had this month, that’s why.

Be happy; that rating is as rare as God.

This is just a dang old good piece of design that’s satisfying without having an alienating quirkiness that these games so often endear. It’s like playing one of those PopCap games that were always so smug, yet enjoyable.

Kratzen gave the game three stars out of five, making it one of the good ones.

i see this was a reaction to “Date a Fidget Spinner”

Here’s hoping good old Derek doesn’t throw a fit and take this game down because you’re accepting donations.


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Boy, if Callum’s review was honest, you’re going to shoot your brains out when it comes to mine.

So your Twitter says you’re students at a university? Don’t look back on the past work you did and feel bad for it. Certainly, don’t cringe when you eventually see better work, as my oldest website is a sacrilege to the brilliance of the ones I would create. One has to be an amateur before they can become someone worth writing about. Well, you’re halfway there.

Spain, too, is a good country. Feel proud of living there. But anyway, here’s the review: Kratzen gives it two stars. Two stars! Out of billions!

By the way, thanks for introducing me to the seapunk masterpiece that is DISNEY PRINCE$$. I feel like a normie whenever I say that music has the opportunity to affect the way one thinks about the world, but if we live in one where we can get audial productions that layer hopelessness, vapidity, uncertainty, and a bunch of other adjectives for the Teenage Dream, then it must be a pretty decent one, indeed. It’s something that I’m thinking about with my own production, putting those big ideas, these big stories, into such a small package. Seeing it paired up against Cranky Kong on Japanese commercials is an experience one only gets the equivalent of maybe… once a year?

Then again, it could just be me. But nobody puts songs into their work because they don’t like them, right?


yeah it’s pretty good

Full review: https://kratzen.neocities.org/reviews/2017-06/donkey-kong-exe-review.html

Also I’m boycotting your products for copyright infringement. Next time learn to respect the


Of course, nothing I say is going to stop me from being buried under a sea of Let’s Plays and teenaged downvotes, but so what? I’m saying my piece, and as the ocean screams, so do I: constantly and to the point where people build houses around me, saying it’s “soothing”.

Oh, right, the review! Kratzen gives it two stars. I hope you weren’t thinking of offering a contrary opinion on a comment section that nobody will read, because that would be silly.

Hey Eigen, sorry for being so coy and making you find this review somewhere on the Internet. I was a bit of a coward when posting it, and so pussyfooted around. To hide my shame, I’ll atone for my sins and post this little thing here: Kratzen’s two-star review.

I believe you when you say you’re DOS obsessed. Perhaps one day you’ll be UNIX obsessed? No, there wouldn’t be much nostalgia in that, unless you were a child with special parents. Keep it up. I demand that you do, so I may see more of your work.

You know, it’s one of those games that I came into thinking I’d hate it just like every other puzzle game out there. I instead found something smart, with a lot of effort put into it, even if it gave me a bit of a heart attack failing and all.

There’s no way in Hell I’m buying it on Steam, the cancer that is Valve, but I’ll leave you with a recommendation from Kratzen and a three-star review. In my books, that’s as good as a bomb squad simulator can ever get.

you know what? i agree with you. this is a good review.

HEY WOW: Check out the game’s actual page!