Greetings Avatars! My name is Charles and I'm the designer/artist behind Solar Crown Online.

This topic regards the Your Truths exercise, which as you might have noticed is still in process. This is a (view-only) link to the google document draft that should capture the current state of writing, just in case your downloaded version is old.

My questions to you are: what Truths did you find most interesting, or inspiring? What Truths (either individual choices or entire categories) are not as interesting or inspiring to you?

Thank you for checking out the game!

Hello! Just sent you some snack money for this WIP and I gotta say I love the flavor already. Still reading through the rules so I'm not sure how the progress bars or the base stats work just yet, but I'll get there. Right now I'm reading through the Truths section and I'd like to offer some feedback on that. Ah-hem.

The Real World:

I do like the angle that the real world is so bad that this virtual world is the only solace left for most everyone. I also like how it's implied that SCO isn't the only virtual haven available, just one of the most popular. Even in an apocalyptic scenario I wouldn't be able to swallow that this game is the ONLY thing that people could experience in VR, so kudos there.

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that the first two Truths are essentially the same scenario, differing only in where humanity currently resides. Both are apocalypses, but one is where humans went to space and the other is where they're stuck in the hell they wrought. I like the idea of implying that there could be different ways that humanity survived an apocalypse well enough to provide themselves with virtual escapism, but I'm not sure you need two separate Truths to suggest that. Perhaps consider rewriting the first two Truths into something like this: "Earth was lost long ago thanks to our own ineptitude. Humanity only just managed to avoid the calamity, and now we struggle to survive in arks or havens of our own design. Many of us seek solace in virtual reality to distract us from the awful truth of real life, and the most popular oasis is that of Star Crown Online."

As for the third truth, I kinda get that it's implying that the real world is just normal in whatever context the player wants to give it, but the wording is a bit too vague in my opinion. It was difficult for me to glean that fact at first, and I feel like a different phrasing could have brought that point across better. For instance, instead of, 'you have no memory of anything unusual happening,' consider, 'your life goes on as it always has.'

If you do decide to smush the first two Truths together into one, this will allow you to come up with a third Truth that is completely unique and separate from the other two. So far you have an apocalypse and normal reality, why not go for a dystopia or a seeming utopia? Corporations run the world and SCO is the only escape people can get from the soul-crushing grind of their daily lives. Maybe life is actually great in reality, people are mostly ok with each other and SCO is just a fun distraction for people when they want to pretend to cast magic. Or maybe the virtual world is literally the only thing anyone knows and there IS no 'real world' as far as anyone is aware. Personally I feel that your Truths are the best opportunities you have to set your IP apart from the rest, so I feel that each Truth should provide an idea that is either wholly evocative or truly unique so that it can properly ignite the imaginations of potential players.

The Solar Crown:

All three of these Truths are awesome, don't change a thing. The first one is very true to form for every MMO in existence, the second hearkens to all the crazy Game Theorists that dig WAY too deep into a game's code or lore, and the third dredged up every good and bad feeling I ever had for the Kingdom Hearts and .hack series all over again. Absolutely love the flavor of these, very on point for this type of setting.

However, I feel that each of these Truths speaks less about the Solar Crown itself and more about the main quest of the game. The first Truth is the only one that actually tells me what the Solar Crown is supposed to be, and I feel that's a misstep. This category should be describing what the namesake of the game actually is and how it pertains to the game, if it does at all. I would personally create a new category of Truths to put these three under called 'The Main Quest' or some such, and come up with three new Truths that actually describe what the Solar Crown is within the context of the fiction.

Origins:

I honestly can't find anything to criticize here. You hit every one of the obvious 'timeline' options for what stage of the game you find yourself in, and you described them with enough detail to get ideas going for who your player is and what their potential motivations might be. Good job!

Hubs:

Again, can't really find much to criticize here. Love the implications in the descriptions as well as the variety of how populated the world could be with each Truth. My only suggestion would be to rearrange these Truths so that they run from least-to-most developed, but that's just a niggle that my brain wants because I like things to be neat and organized.

Organization:

I'm getting a similar vibe to the first two Truths that I did with the Real World Truths. The first two are essentially saying the same thing, that players can gain prestige and power based on the inherent mechanics of the game. The difference is that one appears to grant much more game-altering permissions to high performing individual players whereas the other appears to favor guilds and groups of players. I find myself questioning just how much clout either Truth gives to these recognized individuals or guilds, but then I remind myself that such questions are answered by the player once they start designing their own fiction. I can't say I would recommend fusing these two Truths as I did with the Real World section, they're different enough that I got a sense of distinction between them. But it is something I noticed and I felt I should mention it.

I also noticed that each Truth essentially says that the most powerful players gain the most influence throughout the game, but the first two work within the rules of the game whereas the last one does so outside of the game's coding. Again, I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing inherently. There's pros and cons to this but there is that sense of distinction between the three Truths, so if you wanted to leave them as-is I wouldn't fault you for it.

NPCs:

Ok, so that last Truth is really cooking my noodle. On the one hand I both love and hate the contradiction it creates within the established fiction. Up until this point it was heavily implied that SCO is entirely virtual and that there is no AR functionality to it. However this Truth directly opposes that mindset and gets you thinking of other possibilities. I love the creativity this Truth inspires, but I'm not sure if you should wait this long in the Truths to introduce such a radical concept. Perhaps there could be another Truths section earlier, before the Solar Crown even, that describes how players interface with SCO in the first place? That would add some more depth to the fiction and it would help introduce the idea early so it wouldn't be so jarring to players as they work out their Truths.

The Affinity Drive:

So I had to delve into the quickstart guide to understand what the Affinity Drive was before I could get into these Truths. Probably not a bad thing since I'm guessing the rules will be explained before the player is introduced to the Truths section in the final product, but I felt it was worth mentioning.

As for the Truths themselves, I very much like the first and second Truths. First one is your standard MMO mechanic although it is lacking in flavor. It would be nice if there was another line that gave some additional context to the gemstones themselves, whether that be on how they're gathered, how they're related to the SCO lore or how they're distributed among players and NPCs. Is there a black market for these things? Do the gemstones and/or use of the Affinity Drive have any inherent negative consequences to the players that utilize them?

The second Truth is delightfully Sci-Fi and I love the implications of it. However I feel the second line of the Truth concerning the lawsuit would work better as a Quest Starter instead of an actual Truth description. Perhaps instead you could describe how players naturally gravitate towards certain social circles based on their brain's characteristics? Or maybe how some people IRL are trying to develop ways to alter their brain chemistry so they can get the abilities they want in-game.

The third truth is also interesting in that it's implying that the Affinity Drive is consciously activated thanks to certain mental triggers that are being taught to players. The government angle is also great and adds a lovely dark layer to this Truth.

The Creator:

First two truths are great, can't really fault anything there. That last truth however is phenomenal, but I really wish there was some more context afterwards. I would maybe say something like, 'No one has figured out who the true creator of SCO is. Companies and groups have made claims but they've never been able to provide enough proof to explain the strangeness of the program. Rumors abound that SCO is actually the creation of an artificial intelligence, or an alien species, or even the collective will of the players themselves.' I think giving some ambiguity on who the actual creator is while still implying that the game wasn't created by conventional means would fit the theme of this Truth well.

The Outsiders:

This section was inspired. This is the weirdness I was hoping to see in the Truths section and you took it to the highest level. I think the best part about the original Ironsworn Truths is that each Truth was so different from each other and yet they still tied back to the original concept of what the category was implying. You hit that vibe perfectly with this section and I wouldn't change a thing.

The Code:

As of writing this review the Code section has not been developed, so I have nothing to criticize. However just based on the title alone I would hope that some of these truths speak about how the Code of the game affects the players, how the players can affect the code, or some other twist that I can't think of at the moment. I do see a pitfall where this section could wind up retreading ground that's already been covered by other Truths, so step lightly moving forward if you want to flesh out this section further.

And that's all I have! I hope this review was useful to you, and I can't wait to see how you develop this hack further. Love the setting idea, love the implications for it, and I'm very excited to come up with my own playthrough to give the rules a shot and see how they play. Keep up the good work!

Also as an aside to my earlier review, there wasn't much mention in these Truths about who the major NPCs are and how they relate to the game. Yet they're mentioned by name in other Truths so I feel it's important that there be a section dedicated to them that will allow the player to contextualize who they are and how they affect the SCO lore.