I really liked what you were trying to do here with the contrast between a generation that sees their migrant fleet as 'home' versus the fleet's stated purpose of searching the stars for a 'real' home that would be anything but. I think, though, that considering the short size of the story submissions you didn't need quite so many details regarding the course of the battle, multiple character perspectives, and the exact makup of the two fleets. You might have been better served staying strictly with Haefa'Zemin's viewpoint and letting us experience only what she experiences as she frantically tries to save her home from the Marauders, and then has to snatch what she can from her room and run when she can't prevent her ship's destruction. That would give the story more emotional impact and allow you to really dig into your theme. Or you could go the other way and expand this out into a larger piece that gives us time to get to know all the different characters you introduce. Either way I hope this comes across as constructive criticism because I did like the story!