Very good passage between 1'00 and 1'20" (bass and toms). Too bad you don't exploit it more.

For the rest, the melody is good but it sometimes clashes with the harmony of the pads. For example, from the beginning on the second chord, the melody plays an F against a G7M (basically, there is an F, an F# and a G at the same time, it is very dissonant).

If it's done on purpose, it's a very bold move!