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A jam submission

The Arrest of Andrew Wolfe (Translation of Maurice Leblanc's "L'arrestation d'Arsène Lupin")View project page

Submitted by Bucket Hat Games — 8 hours, 4 minutes before the deadline
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The Arrest of Andrew Wolfe (Translation of Maurice Leblanc's "L'arrestation d'Arsène Lupin")'s itch.io page

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Language

English (US)

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Comments

(+1)

I actually enjoyed it more than LocJAM's English translation. Unlike the previous commenter, I think that this translation flows better. Maybe I am biased, because the language and style are more modern. Well done!

Submitted(+1)

This is a much more faithful translation than LocJAM's sample version, and the creative elements were a nice surprise. However, I found it not quite as good in terms of readability and presentation. A lot of sentences clearly inherited their syntax from the French original, appearing less like sentences, but more like fractured clauses littered between jarring commas and periods.

I feel like things as simple as some well-placed conjunctions could do well to "oil up" this piece and make it flow better. Maybe also check out LocJAM's English version now that the JAM is over? I found its language style something to learn from.

Overall, GJ, cheers!    :D