Cute one! I'm not into visual novels most of the time, but this one made me feel nice :)
If I had to point out things to make it a little bit better:
1. It would be nice to have some background ambient sound or music. I often use https://freesound.org/ in my projects- there are lots of sounds with CC0 license, which means you only need to credit author, and pay nothing.
2. The writing was good, for the most part, but sometimes it was a bit clumsy. Like the part where she felt emotions between horror and disinterest (that's a HUGE range of emotions if you think about it). I recommend doing a re-read of your work after a couple of days with fresh eyes, or giving it to a friend with a slightly critical eye :)
Comments
Cute one! I'm not into visual novels most of the time, but this one made me feel nice :)
If I had to point out things to make it a little bit better:
1. It would be nice to have some background ambient sound or music. I often use https://freesound.org/ in my projects- there are lots of sounds with CC0 license, which means you only need to credit author, and pay nothing.
2. The writing was good, for the most part, but sometimes it was a bit clumsy. Like the part where she felt emotions between horror and disinterest (that's a HUGE range of emotions if you think about it). I recommend doing a re-read of your work after a couple of days with fresh eyes, or giving it to a friend with a slightly critical eye :)
I liked this one! Keep up the good work!