This is not a devlog. The purpose of this post is to say all the things I want the brilliant people of Itch.io, both devs and players, to know about me, my goals and my games.

Firstly, hi. I won't bother with the basics about me, for that you can take a peek at my pretty, little portfolio. Quite proud of it actually. Since I discovered how captivating the feeling of creating an experience from scratch and sharing it with the world was, it's all I've wanted to do. However, I'm just not the motivated type. I'm just about able to call myself intermediate, and my portfolio does NOT represent me in the way I'd like it to.

As of recent, I've been in a small pit of frustration with what I have to show for the work I've put in thus far. 3 unfinished jam games with lackluster polish that I feel little pride to look back on. Narrative oriented demos that should be more focused on gameplay design, my area of study. The desire to build finished, polished and gameplay-rich games is more alive than ever.

About a month ago, I became riddled with extreme abdominal pain, bowel issues and fatigue that quickly led to weight loss and a horrific cycle of harmful medications and hospital stays. On my 21st birthday, the night I became a man, I sat in a recliner in a dark room with an IV bag in my arm, instead of surrounded by friends and family, partying the night away. I never truly resonated with the saying "you don't know the value of what you have until it's gone" until that point. Another two weeks later and I am diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. A somewhat common disease that will affect the way I live in unforseen ways.

Safe to say my mindset has changed. The point of telling that chapter of my life is not to garner pity and it's not to dramatise my situation any way. It's purely to provide context for what helped flip the switch in my head. I feel blessed to have chosen a career/hobby that I can do completely from the comfort of my own home, whether a disease is trying to stop me or not. Another thing I feel blessed about is you guys.

Speaking of you guys, the attention and love that drips through my feed feels completely undeserved but gives me the hope I desperately need. I can't finish this blog post without mentioning the catalyst of all the attention I've received, despite my distain for it. As I mentioned earlier, the projects on my page are, to me, unfinished fragments of lackluster ideas I'd rather just move on from, and my first released game, Home Alone, is the perfect example of that.

Home Alone is a project that I did have decent ambitions for but never planned to develop it much further after the jam period ended, unless I saw some incredible potential in it. Alas, I don't see that potential, I think the concept was simple and uninspired from the get go, however I can't seem to shake it. So many people are still playing and giving feedback. I almost feel bad I'm still serving an undercooked product to hungry customers. I want to scrap the dish and serve you guys something new and exciting that actually leaves people satisfied. Problem is I need time and the ability to market people over from Home Alone.

So what's the plan? Well, if Home Alone is going to stay in  the algorithm the way it is. It's possible I'll give it one final update, one that addresses every single problem you guys have listed in the comments and reviews. Just so I can be at ease knowing my abilities are being better represented while I work on bigger and better things. I can't say I have the same plan for my other projects, those would be more minor updates and fixes.

To summarise, making games is what I know I love, and I want get more experienced, networked, integrated in the community and more productive with everything game dev. Thanks so much to anyone who cared to read this post, I needed something to explain where I'm at on life and how I feel. Go be creative and get inspired. I'll be back!