How are you doing folks?

It's been a hectic period for me, for the world, and for the mother nature.

Everything feels confusing. Sometimes I even ask myself what's the point to continued working so hard when everything feels burdensome and meaningless.

For some, there might be someone they must protect. For some, there might be high calling that they're refused to give up. But for me, I don't have such an intense feeling. I just do what I want at the moment and ready to shift into something else anytime.

For the first time in months that I put everything down and just don't think anything.

I'm enjoying cultivation idle game called "xiuzhen" while listening to random music that I normally don't listen.

Take a step back from all the social media, news, and work.

Luckily I don't have anyone to deal with, so I can have all the time and space I needed.

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Think about it

Some voices whispering to me that everyone is hating me.

Some voices whispering that people will hate everything I do.

Some voices said the world will end anyway.

Some voices said I'll die sooner anyway.

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But are they real?

Sure, they're real. They're all the concerns I have.

Why do I even care? All my life there are always people whom hating me and there are always people whom judging me in everything I did. They're always there, haters gonna hate. It's simple as that.

But at the end, it's not that people are hating me or judging me without any reason. They just need a tartget of prejudice, so they can direct their discontent in life toward someone else. While doing it, it'd make them feels like they're higher because they're stepping on someone else. It's just a simple social mechanism to gain some standings.

In fact, it doesn't matter.

It's me whom gonna stay together with myself from the beginning to the end.

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It's just something that'd happen to anyone. The moment you can silence the voices from outside, there will always be voices from the inside.

One day I might be able to silence the voices inside effortlessly. For now the best I can do is to let them talk until they decided to stop themselves.

After they're silenced, I feels like all the heavy things stopped. It's just stopped.

At the end it's just a self-doubt.

Even if people come to yell at me face to face, it doesn't even matter.

Because I don't need anyone else validation. I just need to allowed myself to be successful.

I just need to allowed myself to do whatever I think is best for me.

Nobody know me better than myself. It's just a simple thing that seems to be forgotten from time to time.

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Whenever I hit the roadblock, it's always time for me to take a step back and think properly.

I'm glad that it's happening frequently. I always learn new things whenever I got in this situation.

Did I get burnout?

No, I rested properly.

What happened?

It's hard to explain, but it seems like my subconscious is telling me to think carefully before progressing forward.

In that moment, I realized that I was about to cross the line which I might regret.

While I realized that something ain't right, I decided to take a break for a while.

At least until Sunday when I'm fully recharged and ready to take on the challenges.

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This post might be far from informative, I think many people also experienced similar things in life.

I hope my experience can help you when you need something to think.

When you think you have nobody...me too.