"A Sonic 2006 jam? What's wrong with you?"

I'm sorry. In my defence, I ran a twitter poll to decide the theme for this jam (I only decided it was to pick the jam theme in the last 24 hours of the poll, though).

"What's wrong with Sonic 2006?"

Here's a run-down: it managed to be too much and not enough at the same time. Too much, because extreme speeds made the game way too hard. Not enough, because colossal loading times and terrible camera controls slowed down a game from a series whose selling point is speed and ease of motion. It dropped light-hearted 'radical' characters into a dark, melodramatic universe. It shunted the main character to the side. I'm not gonna go into the romance between Sonic and the human princess Elise. You look that up on your own time, if you really have to.

"So what do I do for this jam?"

1. Pick a game you've released (or a WIP; if you have neither, this jam is mercifully not for you).
2. Imagine a Sonic 2006-level sequel to it: too much and not enough, completely wrong tone, focuses on unfun things.
3. Write a short review of this imaginary game from the doomed future where it exists.

Reference non-existent mechanics, flavour, art; criticise updates that didn't fix anything. Some of this stuff might not be bad in itself, but following up your previous game with this would definitely be a horrible mistake. Make it a trainwreck. A... radical trainwreck. Stick to 200 words or less! Gotta go fast!! For a bonus penalty, use the line "the "Sonic 2006" of rpgs" or something similar somewhere in your review.

"ngl this seems kinda tame for the '"Sonic 2006" of the tabletop' game jam"

I did think about how to make this much, much worse for everyone involved, but then, who the hell would sign up?

Standard rules against all forms of bigotry also apply.

Good luck, and may who or whatever you believe in have mercy on you.