ive put this to the ratings but i wanna put it here too hehe, i want to extend my gratitude. Made me contemplate my own life too and i needed it, badly more than i know. Thanks for creating such a wonderful story, it made me feel lots of emotions that i cant really describe much because i always cry lol. I relate to this im also gay and im kinda worried to what my parents will say but i hope soon i can have the courage zack did. Ive been having issues with my friends lately,especially with my own feelings about them and i realized how much clarity this story has given me more than what others can offer me. Me and my friends are like this before but i guess the older you get, the people you thought youll have forever will eventually grow apart with you. Nothing really lasts forever and its been a long time since i heard that and i guess this story reminded me to wake up and face the truth. I love all of them, the story flow and all its perfect! Sorry for blabbering here. Anw, ill be entering college soon and i hope i also find the happiness i deserve. THANKS AGAIN! :D
i had an urge to share this to my friends and spout how much i loved this story but i dont think theyll understand me and my love for the story. Guess ill gatekeep iy for a while until i find someone who can understand me.
heya, sorry about the slow response. holidays had be busy and stuff. promise i read your message like 4 times the day you posted it and i appreciated it. I'm glad that the game touched you in a way that stimulated some contemplation. i think that's always a good thing as long as we look in ourselves with honesty and a desire to improve rather than just being overly critical. relationships do change. i had people i was super close with growing up that i haven't talked to in forever. especially old school friends. if you'd like to share the story and you think it would help others, than feel free. if it's gonna be weird or cause controversy, it may not be a good idea. we do have a discord if you want to join a community of fans. just have to make sure you're 18+ and you're nice. Only two requirements. we're pretty chill
its fine! thank u for responding :) ngh tbh I’m not functioning well lately lol so idk how to respond properly without being weird or something, but i really appreciate ur response. I hope ur doing well and had a great holiday! ill think about joining the community since I’m busy and im kinda shy unlike i used to be, still thanks for the offer!
I can't find enough words to fully express my love and gratitude for these heroes and their stories. It's been a long time since visual novels have caused me such strong feelings, in terms of emotions and affection. I cried like a bitch all day after the end. Because in the behavior of the main character and his actions, I recognized myself in many ways. I will definitely return to this college again and again. And even though I'm fan-obsessed with finding out what happened to the guys next, I'm just happy that they're together and love each other.
Thank you! Thank you so much for giving me this little emotional miracle.
aww, well thank you. i appreciate your energy and i'm sorry it made you cry. i put a lot into this and it's not done yet. if you haven't checked out the revamp, give it a go. it's a whole new experience and it may scratch that itch of you wanting more. thank you for the kind message. i really appreciate it
No, no, I'm incredibly grateful for the emotions I experienced! It is very rare to meet something that can cause such strong feelings in an adult me. And yes, just today I tried a rewamp. Dude.. You're fucking brilliant! It's amazing how it sounds and looks now. I promise to become and be your patron until the end!
heh, aww. i'm def not brilliant. just a dude messing around but i appreciate your motivation and the support. just don't short yourself. the world's been crazy and you need to take care of the people's closest first. i do this based solely on donations for a reason. if you do sign up for patreon, though, there's a new v0.03 of the revamp out now. just dont use old saves. that version will be free come mid january. i'm glad i was able to tug at your heartstrings, though. it's been a powerful journey for me
I would like to say thank you for writing this and telling this story. As you say in the prelude, "For those who have ever stumbled along the path of sexual self-acceptance, this is for us." Thank you...Zack's story is my story; I know mine is not finished yet, however you've given me hope for a happy end as well. Like Zack, I have my inner turmoil, overthink things and wait for the universe to change, instead of me having to change and take a chance. I am a straight-acting gay dude who never fit in, and like Zack, I see the beauty in others and can't understand why they have insecurities, despite not being able to believe it when someone says the same about me. Zack is a beautiful person, whether he accepts it or not, and his story has inspired me to very seriously start the journey to see myself that way too. To the author: I make the assumption that many of Zack's character traits and his story are based on some of your own, only because he is so well written and his inner monologue is so *real*; YOU are a beautiful person. I hope this isn't a spoiler for anyone (and please feel free to edit it out if you think it is), but one of my favorite quotes that really hit me is from Ash: "You can't like me for being an outlier and hate yourself for being one, stupid. Just embrace it and stop arguing with yourself for no reason." I think we all need that unfiltered external perspective. Like a previous commenter, after finishing this, I have some very strong emotions...maybe a bit of depression, only because I don't want it to end, but mostly hope! Anyway, happy holidays and THANK YOU for this gift.
i really appreciated this. i can't express how rewarding it is when people have the intended reaction or the story resonates and clicks with someone. that's always been rewarding for me and i'm glad it made a difference. i read this on christmas morning and it was just really nice timing so thank you. i wish you peace on your own journey and i'm honored the story and these goofy little characters have played a small role in your desire to move forward <3
I absolutely love the game. I'm almost done, but I'm already affected by it so much that now I'm depressed as hell, haha. I know it's just fiction and the characters are not real, but I love them! Their struggles, thoughts, and actions are realistic and that's why it's affecting me so much. Such a really amazing game. I've already given a review, but yeah...I don't know how to describe the game and how I'm feeling. But, basically, I wish I was Zack and have friends like that in my life, which is why I'm so sad. And wish I had made the decisions a long time ago where I'd be better off today and with better friends.
Really an amazing cinematic novel, truly the best I've played and probably ever as well. :)
Looking forward to the revamp! I played a bit of it, the changes are so amazing, super excited about it!
Also, wanted to say THANK YOU so much for making this! I am really and eternally grateful!
lol. well i'm not sure how to respond to someone who is thanking me for giving them depression. but hi... and you're welcome?
but nah, seriously. thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you got as invested as you did. if it makes you feel better, i felt a since of loss when it was all over. i typed the last word and just sat in silence. it's been 5 years so it was pretty bittersweet. while i'm actively working on the revamp, i still miss the characters and where they are. they've been a huge part of my life over the last few years and it left a pretty gaping hole when it was all done for me too. So, while i may not have experienced it the same way you did, i get it that there's a general sense of loss there. I hope you enjoy the ending. endings are always the hardest part. <3
I'm sorry! Maybe depression is not the right word, haha, more like overwhelmed with emotions and I've been contemplating so much with my life. I understand what you mean, it being bittersweet and having it be a huge part of your life.
But, OH MY GOSH, just finished it. Woooooow, the ending was so perfect. That was soooo good....I sobbed a lot, starting with the last day all the way to the very end, lol. That was so good, I've been dreading to finish it because I didn't want it to "end", but I'm so glad I did - I feel much more at peace now! Thank you, thank you for the most amazing story I've had the privilege of reading and experiencing.
I'm not sure what to say now! You deserve all the support with the game! And this cemented my belief even more now that this is the best cinematic visual novel ever. :)
aww, well thank you. i really appreciate it. i was just teasing you about the "depression" reaction too <3
glad you liked the ending. i tried to check a lot of boxes with it while still trying to make it unique compared to other stories out there. Thank you for the kind words and happy self-reflecting :)
So I just wanted to say...wow. Absolutely stunning. My very first VN, and first gay/NSFW game to boot.
I only played the original version, but do plan on trying out the revamped version. Before I do though, is the revamped version really more like a QOL update, or are there plot updates/additions, as well? Just curious.
Thanks again for bringing this to light. You should be proud of this.
heya and glad you liked the old version. So the revamp is my attention to bring the beginning of the game's quality up to the level of quality we see at the end. I'd never done any of this before and my lack of understanding on anything really shows in the beginning parts so I wanted to fix that. The early part also had things cut out just to make Patreon updates. When your'e starting out early, you have to put out product frequently but that takes time and when you're doing it solo, you have to pick and choose what to include and what to scrap. As the project continued, I was able to build enough faith in the community that longer production time actually meant longer updates so it balanced out. The revamp, so far, is completely reshot. No CGs are reused. It's much more cinematic like what you see in the end game. There's also music now and the dialogue is redone, including new discussions, teasing, and stuff like that. I've also eliminated the repeatable grind that you have to go through in the first few chapters, that's being replaced with a more linear story because it was annoying. These revamp updates are coming out way faster than the old ones too. If you get a chance, check it out. I honestly think it's worth it even if you played the original. Just from the time you boot it up, it's a completely different experience for the early game.
Soooo, that's kind of a loaded question so i'll answer it from a few different angles. Thus far, Blayke my co-writer/editor has helped me with that stuff. However, that last v0.02 had a few typos that we missed in the rush. People on my Discord have offered some corrections which will appear in v0.03 that I'm working on the tail end of now.
The other side to that is that this story is written very imperfectly. It has it's own reasons for that and was more of an outlet for me than it was ever designed to be a cohesive tale. The pacing is sometimes off and my sense of time in the story is garbage (lol). I will say that I play to keep some of those imperfections because they're almost nostalgic to me at this point and I don't really want to buff them out. I also like a certain type of writing akin to Faulkner or Cormac McCarthy. i like those long dramatic run on sentences sometimes which are not technically correct but they capture the gravity of the picture in my head. Some of those have driven Blayke beyond the realm of madness and he has made several editing suggestions throughout and i've sometimes ignored some of those just because i wanted it authentically me.
Ok, so I did some checking on this because it used to work. Apparently, Renpy (the coding program) has updated and no longer supports 32 bit for Windows and Linux as of version 8.x. According to Renpy's creator, the 32 bit environment "is not the best environment to run Renpy smoothly in all instances." I didn't realize this was a change with the recent update so sorry about the false info.
Hey! I downloaded version 0.21.4 but there are no sounds in this game? should this be because the settings have that you can adjust the votes but nothing is heard?
heya. there is no sound in v0.21.4. that was my rough draft of the story so it's basically just the rough written story. the revamp is what i'm currently working on now and that has sound. if you're new to the game, i'd honestly recommend playing the v0.21.4 that you downloaded first to get the whole story. even after finishing the story, the revamp is a whole new experience that people are really enjoying
Thanks for the quick reply. I played yeah that remaster version already until when I could. I have now played this 0.21.4. a good story has been and I liked this thanks :)
I played through the game and I just want to say that brought the story was absolutely wonderful! absolutely brilliantly embroidered! made me think about my own life, that you yourself sometimes fall in love so fervently and that love is so genuine... well reveal that I am gay and well myself has been difficult to find a relationship or I would have felt that love... tears came when I played this game... because the story is great but also at the same time became cried how in your own life there is no love... :/ thanks bro for this game! continue with the same pattern and my question is that at some point you were going to start making a whole new game?
aww. give it time. I don't think that's something you can rush and it works differently for everyone. I've said before that this game, the interactions, and the path they walk isn't not the "truth." It's not the "right" or "only" way of doing things. It's just one way that happened to be the path that these characters chose. That shouldn't be a standard for others. But if there's things within the story that resonate with you and things that you can take from it that will bring your joy or improve your own life, then take them. But definitely take the time to find your own way that's unique and special to you <3
You really did an amazing job, making a fun and engaging game, while still keeping it so much more realistic then most other games containing NSFW. Content.
I played this game, really only looking for another NSFW quick game to play for fun. And was so surprised, to find so much going on. Happy fun moments, friendship, responsibilities, moments of great suspense and or great sadness. A game I thought I would spend a few days playing, hooked me and I played through all the available content (at the time) in one night.
It's not only relatable in terms of accepting one's self and desires, like you've said. But it has so much more that really speaks to the player. Such as waiting to do certain things in life until you're older, the fears and insecurities that plague our minds, letting anxieties cripple you. Growing as a person. Making mistakes, that sometimes habe prolonged consequences. And how no matter how close you get to your friends a part of life is being willing to accept they habe their own path to take, and sometimes thay path leads away from yours. It hurts alot, but its a good pain. A pain of I miss you, but you have faith in your friends, and know one day you'll all meet again.
I hope one day you will make a sequel, or some continued parts of this story. It deserves so much. But you also deserve your time to do ehay you wanna do. I know you love your creation here, but you also need time to do other things, and have some fun with other projects you may be thinking of. So there is no rush.
I don't wanna ruin anything more then I habe of your story, but one part I really wish had more options for us to pick, would be when they go to the beach and a certain someone disappeared. I really don't like our character just sits there frozen going through his own thoughts instead of helping. Idk I just could never freeze up like that especially if someone o consider my friend and love deeply was potentially in danger. I know its supposed to play into their characters. But it kinds feels wrong here. Idk not asking you to change anything, simply sharing the only thing that I was conflicted about. Amazing work and thanks so much for sharing your hard work with us. I love it !
same for me, i only search for NSFW at first, but playing every episode from the start really pick my interest and got my feeling up and down, its just seems realistic with real life and how we would react when we were the character, been through giggle and tears by self when playing this.
All those plot hole really got me, never expected the outcoming in the last episode, i won't do spoiler, but this was a great story when you start from the first episode.
Maybe this game could be expanded into playing the other character as well so we will get another point of view, other than Zack pov, maybe we can see how Braden, Mikhail and Max (Ash) pov too, so we can completely understand the whole plot.
Maybe there were another theme on another season to continue the story, so the story doesn't really end now, when this story goes about communicate in relationship and dealing with sexuality label issue. The story could use topic about dealing with sexual protection and dissease, coming out to parents, coping about losing loved ones (partner, crush, or even friends), or maybe the struggle about getting on relationship on another country or another culture, and other struggle that always happen on daily life (gay relationship or another LGBT kind of relationship). The story could go many potential development, as they were still young college kids.
The devs were really awesome doing this visual novel, great job guys, really appreciate every bit of it
heya, thanks so much. I usually won't tell people how to read the story but i can tell from your post that you picked up all the things that i really wanted people to from this story so thanks, it's always reassuring to get messages like that.
In terms of the choices: Yeah, i wish their were more choices too. this was my first attempt at writing anything and i think it would be easier to write a book than a VN just because of all the branching paths and stuff. that can get out of hand really quick so i sorta limited them because my concentration is trash. Plus, the more paths i develop, the longer things take and people get antsy for updates. It's not very often people accusing me of being lazy but 2 or 3 have over the years and while i dont personalize those comments, the time it takes to create something like this is always on my mind.
the specific choice that you listed: the swimming accident, is a tough one. that's been heavily debated on our discord since it happened and i'll go on the record as saying that i have no regret for not giving the audience a choice. there was a lot that went into that moment and giving the reader a choice in that moment essentially breaks the story to me. I realized when i was writing this story that these characters and my ability to control them was out of my hands. they began to have a life of their own beyond me. i knew that for awhile but not until the beach scene. I found myself screaming at zack. i was frustrated and and angry and i wanted him to be a hero there... because that's what people are supposed to do. but in the reality is that that's not always what people do. sometimes trauma can twist you and zack's response in that scene is very much a realistic response. i couldn't control him and i was angry and i wanted the audience to feel the same like of control. while the game is a VN and we usually have choices associated with that to get the ending we want, it was never up to us, the audience, to choose this ending. these characters had to find what worked for them. a large part of this narrative was being yourself and finding who you really are. if the audience was allowed to change the story, or manipulate the character, that defeats the whole purpose because the characters would still have someone telling them who they were and who they should become.
i know some will disagree with that approach. hell, i disagree with it because there's things in the story that i would choose differently for them. but that wasn't my choice to make and i wanted to pass that along to the audience as well
nah. Rather than having a handful of "romance" routes in the game, i wanted to focus on polishing one route to the best of my ability. In time, the fan base grew to see most of my side characters as threats and it really took some careful handling to make a lot of the fans actually like anyone else even on a friend level. So no. no other romance routes. the fan base would have literally killed me, lol
I made this account to be able to comment and thank you for making this game, I honestly loved it and felt identified with many things. I would like to be able to donate something but right now I can't. By the way, are there plans for a sequel? I would love to see how the couple develops. Thank you very much for the story again!
Heya, glad you like the story and were able to identify or find things that you could pull that were applicable to your experiences. Don't worry about the donation stuff, the game is free for a reason. If you want to help out, you can always share or help spread word of the project-- that counts just as much. But no pressure. It's perfectly fine to just play it and enjoy it.
My official position on sequels right now has been that I have no plans for one. I worked hard to tie things up in a certain way at the end of this one and any sequel would potentially undo that. However, if i think of a story that's better than this one for a part 2, then I'll certainly give it a shot. i know people are interested in a sequel but i don't want to drag it out just as a money grab, ya know?
I think it's evident that you care deeply for this story and I'm glad that it resonated with a lot of people. There were parts of it that felt alienating to me. I remember reading one of the earlier chapters and there was a scene where Zack and Braden were talking about the "gay movement" that was off-putting to me. Had to take a break from the story for a while. When I came back to it, I was relieved that the politics were set aside in favor of getting to know the characters. I grew really attached to them, and was enjoying seeing the story progress. It was frustrating seeing the same political issue pop up again in a recent chapter.
I can empathize with feeling like you're maybe being judged or pushed to accept an identity that you're not ready for, but saying that gays that are comfortable with their sexuality make it their personality or "advertise it to everyone" (whatever that means) feels mean-spirited. Some of us can't or never wanted to pass for straight so we either had to accept ourselves or spend our lives miserable. I think closeted guys can be quick to say that out gays judge them but can't see how they're being judgemental as well.
Ultimately it's your story, write it how you want. Just trying to share a perspective you might not have considered.
Thanks for the note and I'm glad you enjoyed most of the story. The early positions of Zack can certainly be off-putting to some, but they're common for many and that was just part of his character and that changes drastically over the course of the story. This story is written very existentially and that can be a very individual journey. I've stated that it's not the way towards acceptance, it's just a story about one person's slow shifting of ideas and what allows them to find and accept who they specifically are. Some of that may or may not be applicable to others. I've always encouraged people to take what benefits them from the story and leave what doesn't.
While I don't normally tell people how to interpret the story, I would disagree with what you took from it as I feel the bulk of the narrative argues on behalf of exactly what you wanted it to. In fact everything you're saying is a leading reason into why i wrote the story and it's a constant message from characters like Mikhail, Ash, and Braden as they try and beat it into Zack's head. Being much more public or overt regarding one's sexuality is completely valid and all the characters would agree with that as well-- even Zack at the beginning of the story would agree with that. The overwhelming bulk of the story very much states that people should become themselves or at least work towards that as much as possible--whatever that may be. Which very much includes someone who, as you said, "never wanted to pass for straight" or is more overtly expressive about their sexuality. I can't imagine these characters disagreeing with that lifestyle and I don't know of any part of the story in which they do. However, that more overt lifestyle may not apply to everyone and that's just as valid like Braden says. I guess I would compare it to an introvert versus an extrovert. Both are valid but trying to force one into the other would probably be catastrophic for their identity. I would also note that "introvert" here doesn't mean closeted. I think in the case of these characters, a more flamboyant and sexually open lifestyle isn't who they are, that doesn't mean they have ill feelings towards that lifestyle or judge people with that lifestyle, it just means that it's not them. I'm pretty introverted but that doesn't mean i judge or have ill feelings towards extroverts-- I just couldn't live that way and be happy, just like an extrovert could probably not live my lifestyle and be happy. We're different people and that's ok. Braden gives a few pretty long talks about that near the end. Honestly, Braden would probably be a blast around a more open and flamboyantly gay character. To me, this story was always about finding yourself on that continuum, wherever it may be, and living that out while also realizing others can live in a completely different way that brings them just as much happiness.
I'm the same person as 2 months ago hehe and I've been replaying it and a few questions were going through my head (and also replaying it again made me notice how accurate and relatable is Zack's character with his overthinking. I see myself so much) anyways the questions are: 1) what year are they in, in the game? is it like a specific year? Ernie refers to them as Millenials so.. 2) is it a made-up story or are some things from a true story? just curious :) 3) do you plan to do more games like this one? because I would be very excited to play it!!
thank you for your availability and for creating this game again haha :)
No probs. I'm always up for questions. Also, I'm happy the story is still holding up after a few rereads.
1) The Year. So there's actually no year associated with the game. I've purposely tried to write the dialogue with references or slang that's all over the place. Some of the references Zack makes reference things from decades ago. But also other references are much more modern (like "millennials" and some technology references). I did that purposely to try to make the game transcend the readers age groups. I sorta wanted any legal age to be able to pick the game up and see something that's applicable to their generation.
2)True Story or not? For this question, I'm just gonna post a link to a Patreon post. It gives some background on the purpose of the game, too. Don't worry, it's a free post and you don't need a Patreon account to view the post. You can check it out here
Hope this helps. If you still have more questions, hit me up. And no problem on being available. I like being accessible as a developer. Lot of devs aren't or they just have a narcissistic attitude. It's honestly super humbling to talk to fans of the project so thanks for the interest <3
thank you omg!! also, another question that I forgot to ask is: did you take a major in psychology? because the words and the "thoughts" seem by someone who took a major in psychology. also, I love the phrase where zack says that people who study psychology want to fix other people's problems bc they can't fix their own because I'm doing psychology at school, and it's honestly funny how accurate it is. thank youu and have a good day/afternoon/night :)
haha. yeah, I have a masters in clinical psych. Finished it while I was working on this project actually.
And yeah, people taking psych classes to secretly fix themselves is huge. It's to the point that at the masters level, instructors are viewed as gatekeepers to try and filter some of those people out.
Honestly one of the best story games I've had the pleasure of reading. So much so that I compare a lot of the other ones to this one and it usually doesn't even come close haha This story really pulled me in and I could feel the raw emotion the characters were portraying. Well done man. I'm so glad I found this and played it out to the end.
well thank you. I really did want to do something different with this, which is maybe why you can't find other games like it. I wanted a heavy story, humor, rollercoaster emotions, and something that people could take something away from if they chose-- all within an adult context. It's a weird mix but I like the vibe of that because that's what living is to me. I know a few people have started writing their own stories after playing this so hopefully we start seeing more. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned because the revamp is taking it up like 100 more notches in quality.
This game is litrally so good. This game mentally, emotionally, and phisically made me feel better about my self and the characters in this game. I absolutely love the story its phenominal, the characters itselfs are phenominal everything is phenominal. This honestly is my favorite game in the whole world to the point where I can't even express my emotions. You deserve the world and you should definitely give yourself a shoulder pat for this.
hehe. thanks. it's a work in progress. I've been wanting to redo things over here to reflect the new direction of the game development but website updates take a ton of time and that's time away from actual development so I tend to put it off. I'm gonna do a quick note to all the followers over here when I get things finalized. glad you like it tho. thanks :)
heya. sure thing. So there's a few different engines that you can use for VNs but Renpy seems to be the most popular. I've never coded in my life and I'm still not good at it but you can do most basic stuff with Renpy without too much trouble. It's also good for games like Straight!? that has a TON of dialogue. Unity is another one that some people role with but from what I hear, it's a little more tedious in starting a new conversation box whereas Renpy is just a new line in the script. You can pretty much google or youtube Renpy tutorials. If I had a recommendation to start with, I'd probably go with that but honestly I'm not that knowledgeable about this stuff, I only know what I've had to figure out to do this game.
In terms of art, you can just draw the stuff you want if you're good at that. Others will hire an artist and write their own story and just work as a duo. I use Daz3D for the art in Straight!? Blender is also good if you need to make custom 3D stuff
well, if it makes you feel better, i'm working on the revamp so you get to start all over again if you're up to it. However, i haven't figured out a way to post it on here yet to make it easy. I'm working on redoing this page to incorporate it but you can still download it for free on my patreon
Played the revamped version of day one. Mostly a vast improvement over the original and I like the subtle changes that set up later conversations.
I do think the dialog between the two characters sounds more like college professors rather than college students now. Just doesn't seem as natural and spontaneous as it did before.
Braden's reaction in the shower is closer to what I would expect as a response to Zack creeping and probably my favorite story change of the first day.
A comment about Braden dragging his stuff up to the fourth floor when the room is stated later to be on the third reminded me of a story my younger brother told me.
How, when he was in the Air Force and stationed in the UK he never really got used to how they numbered their floors. In the US, the ground floor and first floor are typical the same. In the UK, you often have to go up a flight of stairs to get to the first floor. Drove him crazy.
lol, college professors, really? i thought the original dialogue was just poorly worded and stuff. I tried to fill in some of the blanks and just make it more conversational than it did before. looking back on it, it read really juvenile to me-- and not juvenile as in the age group but just in the writing style. We'll see how it plays out for ya. it's an interesting perspective that i definitely hadn't seen yet.
in terms of the creeping, i'm glad you liked it. that's going to be a difficult thing during the revamp so i'm going to have to be really careful with it. i'm glad i got this first checkpoint out of hte way, though
and tbh with you, i hate the numbering of floors too
And I thought the original dialog was a nice blend of posturing, bantering and d*ckish behavior as the two got to know each other. It's one of the things that stood out to me because typically in these VNs, everyone is almost an insta-friend so we can get to the sex. (aside: I'm finding that it helps me in doing my writing to read the dialog out loud.)
To be more specific about the shower scene, Braden has just caught this stranger named Zack, who "told" him that he was bi, checking him out in the shower. I find the new version takes the fact that they're strangers still into account whereas the older version really didn't.
And the floor numbering thing wasn't really a complaint (none of this is really, just feedback) but a Slumdog Millionaire moment.
Anyway, keep up the great work.
Just out of curiosity, how far out is the poker game?
no worries. I didn't take offense or anything. I'm pretty chill. I definitely agree with you on the insta-friend stuff. I wanted the bulk of the story to be how they grow closer and to make that worth it, I wanted a slow burn and highs and lows.
The poker game is a ways out and in terms of how long in real time it's gonna take to get there is up in the air. The rewrites at the beginning are very slow to try and organize the code that was split all over the place into more of a streamlined design. It's just frustratingly slow right now. However, once we get to chapter 2 or 3, that should speed up significantly because I won't have to organize anymore, I'll just be looking at the writing and doing some polishing so i anticipate that updates will happen much faster or be much larger. Just bare with me for the first couple chapters to straighten (no pun intended) this mess out.
Cool. I read in one of you're replies to someone that you had wanted the poker sequence to be more interactive Being and old CompSci guy, I have been dinking around with that using this decision tree:
-The numbers are clothing layers (4 for Zack, 4 for Braden to begin)
-The yellow nodes are hands (and separate renpy labels) and each row of yellow is a round.
-The black lines are renpy jump commands.
-The player decides who wins in a menu.
-I'm using a variable to track who was the previous winner for those nodes that have two entry points and an if-then test to provide the appropriate dialog.
-The nodes with zeroes on them represent the strip scenes.
-What is not on the diagram is the four labels you would need for the post-Braden-win strip that Braden does.
-In my version, Zack's wins move down and left, Braden's down and right.
Yeah, so (and your diagram starts to show this pretty quickly) it doesn't take very long for that process to get out of hand. Granted, I have better hardware now than I did back when I was trying to construct that stuff before-- and I'm a tad faster with image creation (all while focusing more on other details); even creating a scene like that with that many choices by yourself can quickly balloon. My old choice was to only give a couple options and play to my strengths-- the writing and story versus spending time on added images and coding, which I was very poor at. It would be fun to have something like that have a lot of routes but even though the game is free, some people get pretty impatient about updates and they don't usually understand how long it takes to create that stuff by yourself. Sure, I could hire other people to help me but when you start breaking the math down to an hourly wage, I only make a few dollars an hour so that can get pretty rough to hire more help. IDK, we'll see what the future holds with that scene in particular. I may add a few new features or I just may keep it the same just for the sake of simplicity. I don't plan many of those things in advance, I sorta just feel it out when the time comes. I've had better results that way from a storyline perspective.
Felt obligated to become a patron and leave a comment purely because of the quality of a game for probably the first time. The character writing and story are absolutely incredible, especially for something I didn't even have to pay for. One of those rare gems that leaves a small hole in your heart after you finish and you have to think about what to do next. I didn't really know what to expect when I downloaded it but it was way more content and depth than I was ready for and I really appreciate being able to play it. Can't say I have a really heavy story and that this is like a mirror for my life or anything like a lot of people here, but it was one of the most gripping and raw stories I've encountered. Thank you :)
yo, thanks a lot and i'm glad you liked it. It's crazy meaningful to me when people are moved to become a first time commenter on this game. I never thought this thing would get the kind of attention and response that it did and I'm truly humbled by that. And you don't have to be able to relate to it the way the characters are, but I'm happy you enjoyed it anyway. Not everyone has to have a battle with their sexuality. Honestly, i don't know you but I'm glad you didn't have the same story. Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to leave a post
Also, thanks for the finnacial support but please dont feel obligated. i made this thing free for a reason.
depends on what you mean by "finished." The current build that's here goes to the end of the game. I'm working on a revamped version now that's going back through the early stages of the game to upgrade the graphics, add music, and fix some of the crap writing where i didn't know what i was doing. the revamped demo is posted on my patreon page for free. i just haven't uploaded it here yet because I'm trying to figure out how to post 2 versions of the game. I'd like to keep the full story version which i'm considering the "rough draft." but also post the revamped for free here as it comes out.
it's very much still in development. This is my first project so I'm not sure if you know how much involvement it is in creating something like this. Since i use 3DCG, it's basically like a movie set where i have to write the script, play each actor for each shot, position the studio lights and snap the picture. That usually takes me about an hour per pic depending on how involved it is. The current build has over 50k lines of code that I've had to write with no coding experience until this. I've also never written anything before and I didn't make outlines for the game ahead of time because i wanted to be surprised like the readers are. Basically, the way i've explained it before is take some movie or game you like and sit down and watch the entire credits and once they're over, just assume that all of that was just one person that tags in 2 other buddies to help out on the writing and visuals, but i'd say around 90% of it is just me. We've at 21 updates on this thing and each one of those updates has taken me thousands of hours before they were ready. I have no idea how many tends of thousands of hours I've spent on this but I usually work at least 50 hours at week on it. Usually around 70 now. making a game by yourself is the dumbest thing ever. it's why most of them get abandoned. But this was a passion project and i wanted full control over it and i've been stubborn
This game is incredible, there are so many thoughts Zack had that I had myself when I was figuring out who I am (I still am but I've come a long way) I see a lot of myself in his character and Braden is just the cherry on top. There are some life lessons I got from this story that, even if it hits me really hard in the feels and makes me really face reality, I'll take for life. I just have to thank you for making this game, I never expected the story to impact me so much as it did and it has become one of my all-time favorite games. I'll definitely replay it soon and replay it again when the revamp update is out!!! Really hope we see a sequel soon!!!
hey thanks a lot for checking in. I'm glad the "lessons" were something that you responded to. I've been very careful to state that the story isn't "true" in a sense or "right." It's just a way that worked for me to connect some life dots that I was really stubborn about. Glad you could relate and i wish you the best on your own journey. Take what's applicable and leave the rest :)
in terms of a sequel, nothing is planned for this story. i told the story i wanted to tell and I wrapped it up in the way that I wanted to. but i'm a pretty open guy so we'll see, if a better story comes to me, then we'll do it all again. Stay tuned though, i'll be posting the revamped version over here before long. It's already free on the Patreon page if you wanna go snag it. It's just the first day of the game so it's very short but it's my proposed changes and it's blown people away so far. way better than this version but it's just a prototype. I'm still working on the rest of chapter 1
um... i have no idea what you're talking about. Are you unsure why the game is NSFW, are you stuck at the beginning where things repeat, did you finish the game and didn't understand it? I'm totally lost. Also, please make sure you're at least 18 years old if you're playing this. Thanks
Love the game! I identify with Zack so much. Had a bad experience when I was younger with my first love (his parents) and it took me a long time to accept my sexuality. Keep up the awesome work!
heya. glad you liked it. sorry about your bad experience though. i hope you found peace with that. I was pretty stubborn accepting myself too (hence why the damn story is so long :P )
i'll be honest. i only picked up this game because i was looking for some erotic visual novel. didn't expect any depth, just some pornographic visuals.
boy i did not expect this rollercoster. honestly i fell completely in love in this game. the characters and dialogues are so well written i was completely engulfed in the story right away.
not to mention how much i could resonate with Zack, like to the point of reading through his inner monologues and feeling like i was reading my diary or some shit. i went through almost the same kind of thoughts and feelings in my younger years and it made me so self aware of how much harder i made my life with my self doubting and avoidance of real deep conversations.
i wish i had my own Mikhail when i was 19. might've shook me and actually helped get through my troubled and confusing times like he helped Zack (like for real, Mikhail is a fucking angel and definitely my favorite character).
thank you so fucking much for this game and this experience and i cant fucking wait to play this again in the revamped version!
I appreciate comments like this and always enjoy when people are surprised that it's not just some lame porn game with a nonexistent plot. Glad you appreciated Mikhail, too. The revamped version looks amazing so far. I haven't posted it over here but it's free over on my Patreon. I'm actually just trying to figure out the easiest way to post the revamp here while still keeping the old version with the full story so stay tuned
also, i see there are 2 routes to this game. are they different throughout the whole game or just the ending? is it worth going for the respect route if i finished the pervy route already?
to save yourself some time, you can just go to chapter 9 from the new game menu and select the respect route and you’ll get the jist of it. Basically the story is written in a generic way that changes the tone of the story based on the routes. Different scenes may have the same dialogue but a few changes throughout the story just have those scenes have a completely different meaning. However the biggest difference is in chapter 9 where the routes completely split before merging back together again
I'm a returning player from the early days of the game and it is so dang hot and cute! As a gay guy myself I have absolutely adored this game and the cute characters within! Maybe after you get done with this game, you can make an interactive one with you getting one of the boys as your own virtual boyfriend. Only after this game is complete tho. And there would be lots of fetishes and stuff if you did make a game like that. I'm sure it would be just as popular as this one is. I'm so glad for the good work you have done and I can't wait for future updates!
I also appreciate the smaller file size than it was years ago. And talk about a battery saving game, this one has used the least of the 28 I have. From a 4000mAh battery, this thing only used 13% in about TWO hours!
Again thank you Aaryn Reece for making such an amazing game and I can't wait for future updates to this heartwarming, and sexy game. I'm a loyal fan for life!
I'm not sure what the future holds. I have a few ideas and I'll play around with things. A lot of what you mention could be fun but can also be very involved projects so I'd have to really be invested in the story. I refuse to start something that I don't finish. I really want to have a good track record.
In terms of file size, yeah my buddy Jordyn helps with that stuff. He's been able to crunch the files down and still keep the quality that we see in the 4k images
So yesterday when I was getting to the end of the story and Braden and Zack were talking in the park just before going their separate ways, there was a comment that made me realise I would see a different conversation if I were to choose the Pervy route in, I think it was Chapter 2. So today I started again (thankfully there's a skip button!). I chose the pervy route and was skipping through to chapter 9 or 10. But when I got to the swim team meeting, I suddenly hit a different path. Yesterday, Mikhail went after Ash while Zack went looking for Braden, found him and they had the talk at the waterfall. I'm not sure exactly how I hit the alternate path, but suddenly, there's Zack going after Ash. My reaction was much like Ash's; what? Oooo, a mystery! When they got to the gym, I was laughing. But then the whole thing turned sour and then actually became ugly. But when it was all said and done, I found myself thinking that that version was a much better conversation between the two of them (Braden and Zack).
Once again, congratulations on some truly great story telling!
Rigel
P.S. I think Cody is the hottest guy in the story! He's so cute and has a killer body.
yep, the routes are very similar but very different at the same time. The theme in both routes is "communication." The pervy route does get pretty ugly for a bit but it was designed that way to force that conversation and see if these two could work shit out constructively. I wanted to show a template for how a conversation about something ugly could actually play out in a healthy way-- how two people that care about each other could actually listen to the other one and try to empathize. The pervy route, after all is said and done is probably the better written route with more twists and stuff. TBH, I just wanted to mess with the people that were playing the game for pervy reasons so that's another reason why there's such a big twist to it. Plus, let's be honest: it has more Ash and who doesn't love that?!! :p
I agree. My partner and I had that kind of communication. The only time we "argued" was if something was very trivial (World of Warcraft was one such thing). But if it was important, we discussed it, analysed it, formulated options then logically chose the option that would hurt the least. Both of us were intelligent and responsible adults. The whole communication thing is what makes your novel so engrossing. I believe it's why people have responded so well to it. People are starved in this day and age for communication and understanding. So again, job well done!
I just started getting into New Hope by your friend Blayke. That one holds a fair bit of promise too. He's all ready made me feel sorry for the "villain". LOL I'm such a sap!
I sat up until 4:15 am last night to finish reading Straight?! I've been reading it since earlier this year. First of all, let me say I loved this story.
In the second chapter (?) there was a point where it seemed like it just repeated the get up-go to class-go to bed-repeat cycle far too often. I almost quit as that was so boring! But I figured, there has to be more to it than this.
Then you got past that and settled into building the story. I've been reading about 6 of these visual novels this past year and while most are vague stories stringing together an endless parade of porn scenes, Straight?! isn't. You flat out have the best written, most in depth and most well fleshed out characters and story of all of the VN's I've been reading. What a breath of fresh air! In the late 1990's I was the editor for a science fiction magazine and was often asked by budding writers what the key to success was. I always told them, I have to believe in your character, I have to care what happens to them. If they're cardboard cutouts, I'm not interested. I believed your characters; I saw pieces of myself in each of them. I cared about them. Reading through v0.21.4 yesterday I cried numerous times (I lost count after 12 or so LOL); because I cared about these characters. To me, that's what makes this story so beautiful.
I'm a 61 year old man who spent his youth vacillating between being horny and cruising parks for sex to then hating myself and my entire existence for doing it. I was almost 30 before I was able to settle in and accept me for me. Not long after that, I met a woman who also accepted me as I was (I'm pansexual btw). Those were the best 26 1/2 years of my life! She died in 2019 and I will probably live the rest of my life alone (romantically) but safely connected to a handful of truly wonderful friends. I think our life experiences are very similar.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but, I'd happily read a sequel. After all, that was only the first semester! I know when you finish a story, it's difficult to create a second one. After all, that story is finished! But if you find another story to tell, I would happily read it. You are a truly good story teller.
hello. First off, let me apologize for the delay in response; i finally got covid for the first time and I've been down for days so I'm catching up. Hopefully the delay didn't give you the wrong impression. I also want to say that I don't know you but I'm sorry for your loss. You're much further down the road of life than I am and I can't imagine that, especially when it sounds like you had a hard time finding someone you really clicked with. I hope you find closure and peace there--whatever that looks like for you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate the praise coming from someone with writing/editing experience, given that I'm still just stumbling through and learning as I go. I'm glad that I was able to pull you in to these characters and get you invested. I'm not the fastest writer out there and I really have to feel things out when I'm working on it-- from the feedback I've gotten, that seems to pay off and most people seem to be ok with my process of trying to get it right. I have no plans for a sequel right now. that would be a massive undertaking considering i'm 5 years into this version but we'll see. It would have to be better than this. but I'm gonna keep my mind open to it. Thanks for your kind words. i really appreciate it <3
Thank you for your kind words. Don't apologise for the delay; I'm not the "instant gratification" type of person. I do hope you're feeling better now! Getting it right is always worth the wait! ;)
Hi everyone and specially to the writer, I can not believe this game, I have never seen a gay game, not played one before and my friend told me about it. I have to say, it was not what I expected and half of the game is almost my life. Thanks for clarify so many things for me, I was in a dark place and you just give me answers to questions I didn't knew I had. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart, thanks you. Please dont stop the game here, Please continue their stories, there is so much you can write and so much that can help others, me included. Please dont stop the game in here, please continue.
heya. thanks for the support and tell your friend thank you for the recommendation and for passing the game along. I don't market much so I'm pretty dependent on word-of-mouth. I'm glad the game gave you a little bit of light during some shit times. please also don't take the arguments of points of view in this as being true, though, find your own way. This is just the story of the headspace where I was when I wrote it. that could change for me as well. but if some of the stuff made sense to you and you find it helpful, i'm honored to be a part of that process. we'll see where the future is. like the writing for this game, i dont plan much, i've tried and it's just less enjoyable for me--especially with the projects and stuff. so i'm keeping an open mind on the road ahead. if a better chapter comes along, then we'll see it-- if not, i have to be comfortable enough with this to walk away and not screw it up by making it longer. thank you for your kind words and for your excitement. all the best to you for today and all the days after :)
I'm not okay (I am tho, don't worry (maybe just a little)).
I demand a sequel that covers the next 70 years of their lives. This probably would leave me in shambles as well, but I enjoy suffering for gay stuff, that's what gets me going 💅✨.
I've been following the project since... I don't know, something tells me since mid 2020, but I've had been quite distant, waiting for some updates to pack, and then I downloaded the newest version just to have me killed like that.
Also, that moment when they were talking about kids, I felt so pissed at Zack. He kept talking and talking, and if I were Braden I would've smacked his ass. But I guess I only felt that way cuz I was there once, maybe, and when you have such a relatable character you start feeling as is you're in their shoes, idk, seemed as if I was reliving the old me and that can be quite enfuriating, as if you're watching a horror movie where the character wants to go to the basement and you just want them to stop cuz no good will come of that. It's a process and I know that, but still makes me go AHHHHHHHHH.
Anyway, I could keep on rambling (just like Zack (see, been there)), but I'll bring this to an end (JUST LIKE YOU DID TO ME 😭 (being dramatic, nothing new here)). I really loved the game, really heartwarming, I want a Braden for myself, I'd love to see more of them, but that was more than enough. Thank you for your awesome work! ❤❤❤
heh, i'm glad you've stepped out of the shadows from being a secret fan for a few years. Zack can be infuriating-- but he's been me over this entire project and I really tried to focus on the things that kept me from accepting myself. Those don't' have to apply to everyone but I'm glad there's been a taste of that for you. If nothing else, the fury you direct towards him sounds like a sign of growth. I appreciate the long-term follow and I appreciate you stepping out of the shadows to share your experience. We're all in this life together as we stumble through and try to figure out our own path. Mikahil called it: nobody else knows what they're doing either; just live and be kind to others. that's a start. thank you for the long time support and for breaking your silence. it made me smile to know you're out there <3
It's really nice to find people with similar experience, even if they're characters from a game (tho they're a product of your experiences, so not that fictional). Life itself is quite a rollercoaster and to see those ups and downs neatly represented is awesome, plus having that fantasy bit where you get to experiment stuff that you may not be capable of living (for multiple reasons) and having that leading to a good end, really good.
I've just joined the discord server, so I guess I'll get to keep in touch with the characters and their world through the community. Once again, thank you for your work and for your time!! 😊❤️
well glad to have ya. i may have missed you signing in. I usually try and say hello to everyone but I've been back and forth from my computer the past week or so and my replies have been a bit spotty. but tag me and say hey on there. i dont mind. we're pretty friendly and talk to people daily
oh, you did tag me and said hello, I wasn't even expecting that, caught me off guard. I've already sent some messages and I'm still trying to find the right pace, and that's alright. By now I'm struggling with time zones differences, whenever I wake up there's dozens of texts from everyone lol.
that’s good to hear. We really tried to foster a decent little community of fans. There’s game talk and life talk. Supposed to just be supportive and figure things out together. I used to say hey to everyone then it started to get bigger and the game work got more involved so I miss a few— especially with time zones. I still try and welcome as many as I can though. Glad I spotted ya and welcome :)
I can't believe how engrossed in this game I was. Nothing could have prepared me for how attached to the characters I eventually became and the actual lessons that the game taught me. It makes me look at things a little differently... and I can't believe it's over. But, I'm so Invested now that I can't wait for the new updates as we slowly make our way to the final draft of this game. I'm really butthurt that I can't keep reading more and to be honest, I want this to become a movie already. I love all of the characters to death and no game has ever touched me like this. Keep it up, please!
aww, well thank you. if it's any consolation, the future updates will focus on the early parts of the game that are the weakest so, while you've already seen those scenes in a sense, you'll get to relive them again with new dialogue and some more reading. Not sure if that helps but I miss them already, too
Thank you so much for this game. I just got to the chapter "Deeper" and I had to stop because I was so close to crying. This game is absolutely beautiful and it spoke to me in a way nothing has before. I'm currently on a work trip and am very, very, very lonely and my mind turned to what it always does: how lonely and isolated I feel. I never understood why I knew I was gay and yet couldn't actually be gay. I've never kissed, never done anything.
Then Zack explained it. I hate it and I wish I could just be... fuck, normal isn't the word because your story made it clear "normal" isn't worth jack shit. But I grew up in a religious household, my father walked out when I came out and spent the next week drinking. I wish I was something else sometimes, but I could never put that into words.
Being gay is so hard sometimes... it's easy to feel alone when you don't feel like anyone understands you. But Zack does. I'm getting teary just writing this, so I'll keep this part short, but I've never felt to seen. I don't care about the pride movement or what the world says I should be as a gay man, but I'm not traditional. I don't care about my clothes or anything I'm told gay men like.
I just exist and it's so liberating for a gay character to finally show that. I'll be honest- I downloaded this game looking for something far different from what I got and honestly I'm very happy you did me this service. I know you don't know me, but I'm sitting in an empty hotel room right now breaking down because for the first time in my life I get to see myself... and I don't know how to process it.
Your story has changed my life, seriously. Something inside my brain feels different now, like some portion of me that I was trying to change or suppress has come out of the shadows. I know I'm not Zack- I'm not naturally talented or calm and relaxed (at least, I'm not capable of putting up that kind of façade). But I see now I've allowed others to dictate just who I am- that I'm too loud or annoying. I even constantly put myself down. I'm not going to anymore. I'm going to try to be the person I can be proud of, because if I can't do that then what's even the fucking point? I don't need a fairytale kiss, but I'll be damned if I let myself die without showing myself who I am. Fuck the world and their opinions on who I am, from here on out I will try my hardest to be myself.
I kinda got off track there at the end... but thank you. For everything. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
I wish you the best with this. for me it was a journey. well, it still is and I'm ok with that. I figure if I act like the ride is over, then I really can't grow any more after that. You're very much into the part of the game where I started going off the rails and doing my own thing. I moved away from the old genre of VNs and just had an experience that really meant a lot to me and it was fun playing that out with the characters. I'm glad that Zack is able to validate some of your feelings and allow you to feel like you're part of something besides yourself. He helped me do the same and I'm eternally grateful. To me, the meaning of life isn't a hard question to answer, the answer is to find meaning in life. Like you said, otherwise, what's the point just existing? but also take that process at your own pace. work things out and be open to it making sense in your own way. dont rush into it. self improvement and development should be calculated. I hope you enjoy the last 2 chapters <3
I'm still kinda putting it off, to be honest. It's phenomenal but I sincerely don't want to finish. I almost feel like I'm disrespecting the story if I finish it, although why I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm just experiencing some painstaking growth and I'm not really used to it. I think about this story daily and how I can become a better person from it, which feels odd to me but also really great? I know you've probably got more important things going on, but thank you again. I'm going to try to be a better me for a while and see what it feels like. I owe it all to you. Thank you again and I look forward to see what comes next for you!
if you're too busy living your life to play my game, that's good enough for me. I smiled when I read this and please dont feel compelled to finish it. You dont have to. and that comes from me that wrote it. You're self reflections and revelations will do more for you personally than I ever can. when you're ready for my ending, it's here and it's free.... if you never need it, please accept that's ok too. may you find your version of happiness in this world <3
i just wanted to say thanks for creating this game, it helped me back in february where i wasnt feeling very well mentally and had to skip school until may bc of that but your game really went along with me through those months and i cannot explain how thankful i am tysm for making this oml and the characters and i cried so many times bc of how relatable they were omg. ngl im gonna replay it again now haha :D
wow, this really means a lot and I'm really glad you shared this. I'm glad you made it through those months and I'm thankful that my little project somehow had a role in that. i hope you continue to improve and take care of yourself. I think one thing that all these characters have in common is that they're good people and if you could relate to them then that probably means you're a good person too. keep your head up and keep moving forward 'cause even during the worst parts... well... nothing lasts forever. thanks for sharing this <3
I just want to say....I fucking hate this....cause I love it so much. I am a huge emotional wreck at the moment but definitely a story that is needed to be told. Can't recall how many times I have cried while reading this every time it updates. How each and every character I related to so much, since I have had similar experiences. This story and where I am at in life honestly is fucking resonating and I appreciate how it fucked me up emotionally.
haha. thank you for sharing your awful experience with my game :p
I'm kidding but nah, thanks. It's so weird that when i stripped off who i am and wrote something for the first time, i wrote a damn emotional romance story. Though, i'm sorry it fucked you up emotionally, I hope that turns into a healing process and not just a nuke that blew everything up. Obviously, i've been there, too, i wrote the damn thing and i wrote it in real time as i walked through it. I'm glad the story has meant something to you throughout all the updates and I hope you find a way to allow yourself peace and a happy ending that makes you cry for all the reasons you ever wanted <3
I'm a great fan of this game and I absolutely love the story (although I haven't played it 'till the end yet). Recently I read that you wanna add a soundtrack. Actually I have some experience with composing, mixing and mastering. So, if you want me to, I would love to compose some tracks for this.
heya. thanks for the interest. Yep, I'm working on music and sounds now for the remake. It's taken a bit of time to get started mostly because i'm navigating websites and copyright stuff but I'm anticipating that it'll speed up in the future. The first demo should have enhanced pictures that are lightyears ahead of what the original looked like as well as music and sound effects.
I think for someone like you that is interested in composing, I would probably be a pretty frustrating person to deal with, lol. This was a passion project from the start so I'm pretty attached to it-- which makes me stubborn and opinionated sometimes. However, when it comes to music, I can't really articulate what I want exactly. So I want something but don't know what I want, but I'm stubborn anyway, lmao. I just know when I find something and it feels right, then I squeal and point at it. So it's a weird thing for others to deal with when I'm not sure what I even want.
But I also wrote this story in real time and only planned a few parts of it in advance, so picking the music out one track at a time as I get to each point in the story is very on brand for me. However, that's probably awful for composers to deal with. One of my dev team guys is good with sound and has a good setup so he's putting up with me right now. I'm also looking at royalty free sites to make things legal. I seriously appreciate the interest. I've had a few people over the years interested in composing stuff but it's hard to help me out when I'm the only person that can hear it in my head and I have no idea how to describe it. It's mostly just inexperience on my part. If you have stuff you wanna pitch or send over, I'm very open to listening to it. I just don't want you to personalize it if I don't roll with it. I may actually publicly post the main menu before long and that has one track on it
I found this game and downloaded it on a whim. I had low expectations, preparing myself for a visual feast and "typical" gay storyline. Admittedly, the spelling and grammar need an editor (I'd be happy to help in that capacity), but I was quickly drawn into the story despite my cavalier attitude toward the content.
I'm not a gay man, though I am someone who holds all humans to be valuable in and of themselves, in addition to the experience and perspective each can provide. I have a background in several scientific fields, and have always tried to approach life based on evidence and my own core rule: minimize harm and maximize well-being.
I was not prepared for the depth of the story or the development of the characters presented. I reached the end of the present release and spent an hour crying, unwillingly thrust into my own past and all my moments with friends, lovers, and family.
Thank you for that. I'll be sharing this project with others who may need reminders of important lessons.
heya, I really appreciated the candid nature of this post. It made me laugh at first because I can relate to it. A lot of gay stories seem cliché or, in the adult realm, are just shallow and horny. Straight!? doesn't do anything crazy different other than trying to provide substance to the genre it's told in. It's a coming of age story and we've all read or heard tons of those. But, I did put a lot of passion into it and I'm pleased that people are able to actually feel that. I'm not sure your scientific background, I'm a psych guy and I think my story holds water within the psych field, regardless of theoretical orientation and I'm pleased to hear that you feel it holds weight in your eyes.
I have a handful of favorite responses from people and you nailed a few of them here. I like people starting this with low expectations and then being surprised. That's always fun to hear for a first time writer here. I also love when it holds up to people who aren't gay. I wanted to try and create a universal story here that was mostly applicable to those who have struggled with their sexuality, but I also wanted people who didn't, to find something from it-- even if it was just appreciating what you have and respecting your own journey of being in this world.
In terms of the writing, I do have a guy who helps me with editing. However (and this is a massive HOWEVER that I'm emphasizing here to defend him), most of the writing flaws and editing problems are probably still in there because I'm stubborn. I didn't write this story in an organized fashion, honestly I think I bled it over 5 years. The writing tone is inconsistent and there's massive run on sentences, that to me, read like a poetic rant that captures my voice and intentions at the time. When i'm frustrated about something I talk a lot and I know my speech throws punctuation out the window. That's real to me so i wanted to capture that within the story because of it's honesty. Time in the story is also kinda wonky because I've never written anything before. I didn't know how to structure that. Perhaps in a future project, I'll be more careful and outline things better. But this, in many spots, i left very raw. It's kinda like a journal that was turned into a fictional story. It's not perfectly structured or written and I was kindof protective in keeping it that way. That being said, the first 3 chapters are written very poorly and i can't stand them, lol. Those need some work and that's my next mission. But I know I broke a lot of literary rules in other parts of the story and much of that was intentional despite my co-writer suggesting otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
Also, thanks for sharing the story. I really appreciate that; especially if it's going to help someone or remind them of something important. I appreciated your post and thank you for taking the time to write it :)
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ive put this to the ratings but i wanna put it here too hehe, i want to extend my gratitude. Made me contemplate my own life too and i needed it, badly more than i know. Thanks for creating such a wonderful story, it made me feel lots of emotions that i cant really describe much because i always cry lol. I relate to this im also gay and im kinda worried to what my parents will say but i hope soon i can have the courage zack did. Ive been having issues with my friends lately,especially with my own feelings about them and i realized how much clarity this story has given me more than what others can offer me. Me and my friends are like this before but i guess the older you get, the people you thought youll have forever will eventually grow apart with you. Nothing really lasts forever and its been a long time since i heard that and i guess this story reminded me to wake up and face the truth. I love all of them, the story flow and all its perfect! Sorry for blabbering here. Anw, ill be entering college soon and i hope i also find the happiness i deserve. THANKS AGAIN! :D
i had an urge to share this to my friends and spout how much i loved this story but i dont think theyll understand me and my love for the story. Guess ill gatekeep iy for a while until i find someone who can understand me.
heya, sorry about the slow response. holidays had be busy and stuff. promise i read your message like 4 times the day you posted it and i appreciated it. I'm glad that the game touched you in a way that stimulated some contemplation. i think that's always a good thing as long as we look in ourselves with honesty and a desire to improve rather than just being overly critical. relationships do change. i had people i was super close with growing up that i haven't talked to in forever. especially old school friends. if you'd like to share the story and you think it would help others, than feel free. if it's gonna be weird or cause controversy, it may not be a good idea. we do have a discord if you want to join a community of fans. just have to make sure you're 18+ and you're nice. Only two requirements. we're pretty chill
its fine! thank u for responding :) ngh tbh I’m not functioning well lately lol so idk how to respond properly without being weird or something, but i really appreciate ur response. I hope ur doing well and had a great holiday! ill think about joining the community since I’m busy and im kinda shy unlike i used to be, still thanks for the offer!
no worries. i wish you the best. keep your head up <3
I can't find enough words to fully express my love and gratitude for these heroes and their stories. It's been a long time since visual novels have caused me such strong feelings, in terms of emotions and affection. I cried like a bitch all day after the end. Because in the behavior of the main character and his actions, I recognized myself in many ways. I will definitely return to this college again and again. And even though I'm fan-obsessed with finding out what happened to the guys next, I'm just happy that they're together and love each other.
Thank you! Thank you so much for giving me this little emotional miracle.
I hope my own Braden will find me one day too...
aww, well thank you. i appreciate your energy and i'm sorry it made you cry. i put a lot into this and it's not done yet. if you haven't checked out the revamp, give it a go. it's a whole new experience and it may scratch that itch of you wanting more. thank you for the kind message. i really appreciate it
No, no, I'm incredibly grateful for the emotions I experienced! It is very rare to meet something that can cause such strong feelings in an adult me. And yes, just today I tried a rewamp. Dude.. You're fucking brilliant! It's amazing how it sounds and looks now. I promise to become and be your patron until the end!
heh, aww. i'm def not brilliant. just a dude messing around but i appreciate your motivation and the support. just don't short yourself. the world's been crazy and you need to take care of the people's closest first. i do this based solely on donations for a reason. if you do sign up for patreon, though, there's a new v0.03 of the revamp out now. just dont use old saves. that version will be free come mid january. i'm glad i was able to tug at your heartstrings, though. it's been a powerful journey for me
I would like to say thank you for writing this and telling this story. As you say in the prelude, "For those who have ever stumbled along the path of sexual self-acceptance, this is for us." Thank you...Zack's story is my story; I know mine is not finished yet, however you've given me hope for a happy end as well. Like Zack, I have my inner turmoil, overthink things and wait for the universe to change, instead of me having to change and take a chance. I am a straight-acting gay dude who never fit in, and like Zack, I see the beauty in others and can't understand why they have insecurities, despite not being able to believe it when someone says the same about me. Zack is a beautiful person, whether he accepts it or not, and his story has inspired me to very seriously start the journey to see myself that way too. To the author: I make the assumption that many of Zack's character traits and his story are based on some of your own, only because he is so well written and his inner monologue is so *real*; YOU are a beautiful person. I hope this isn't a spoiler for anyone (and please feel free to edit it out if you think it is), but one of my favorite quotes that really hit me is from Ash: "You can't like me for being an outlier and hate yourself for being one, stupid. Just embrace it and stop arguing with yourself for no reason." I think we all need that unfiltered external perspective. Like a previous commenter, after finishing this, I have some very strong emotions...maybe a bit of depression, only because I don't want it to end, but mostly hope! Anyway, happy holidays and THANK YOU for this gift.
i really appreciated this. i can't express how rewarding it is when people have the intended reaction or the story resonates and clicks with someone. that's always been rewarding for me and i'm glad it made a difference. i read this on christmas morning and it was just really nice timing so thank you. i wish you peace on your own journey and i'm honored the story and these goofy little characters have played a small role in your desire to move forward <3
I absolutely love the game. I'm almost done, but I'm already affected by it so much that now I'm depressed as hell, haha. I know it's just fiction and the characters are not real, but I love them! Their struggles, thoughts, and actions are realistic and that's why it's affecting me so much. Such a really amazing game. I've already given a review, but yeah...I don't know how to describe the game and how I'm feeling. But, basically, I wish I was Zack and have friends like that in my life, which is why I'm so sad. And wish I had made the decisions a long time ago where I'd be better off today and with better friends.
Really an amazing cinematic novel, truly the best I've played and probably ever as well. :)
Looking forward to the revamp! I played a bit of it, the changes are so amazing, super excited about it!
Also, wanted to say THANK YOU so much for making this! I am really and eternally grateful!
lol. well i'm not sure how to respond to someone who is thanking me for giving them depression. but hi... and you're welcome?
but nah, seriously. thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you got as invested as you did. if it makes you feel better, i felt a since of loss when it was all over. i typed the last word and just sat in silence. it's been 5 years so it was pretty bittersweet. while i'm actively working on the revamp, i still miss the characters and where they are. they've been a huge part of my life over the last few years and it left a pretty gaping hole when it was all done for me too. So, while i may not have experienced it the same way you did, i get it that there's a general sense of loss there. I hope you enjoy the ending. endings are always the hardest part. <3
I'm sorry! Maybe depression is not the right word, haha, more like overwhelmed with emotions and I've been contemplating so much with my life. I understand what you mean, it being bittersweet and having it be a huge part of your life.
But, OH MY GOSH, just finished it. Woooooow, the ending was so perfect. That was soooo good....I sobbed a lot, starting with the last day all the way to the very end, lol. That was so good, I've been dreading to finish it because I didn't want it to "end", but I'm so glad I did - I feel much more at peace now! Thank you, thank you for the most amazing story I've had the privilege of reading and experiencing.
I'm not sure what to say now! You deserve all the support with the game! And this cemented my belief even more now that this is the best cinematic visual novel ever. :)
aww, well thank you. i really appreciate it. i was just teasing you about the "depression" reaction too <3
glad you liked the ending. i tried to check a lot of boxes with it while still trying to make it unique compared to other stories out there. Thank you for the kind words and happy self-reflecting :)
So I just wanted to say...wow. Absolutely stunning. My very first VN, and first gay/NSFW game to boot.
I only played the original version, but do plan on trying out the revamped version. Before I do though, is the revamped version really more like a QOL update, or are there plot updates/additions, as well? Just curious.
Thanks again for bringing this to light. You should be proud of this.
heya and glad you liked the old version. So the revamp is my attention to bring the beginning of the game's quality up to the level of quality we see at the end. I'd never done any of this before and my lack of understanding on anything really shows in the beginning parts so I wanted to fix that. The early part also had things cut out just to make Patreon updates. When your'e starting out early, you have to put out product frequently but that takes time and when you're doing it solo, you have to pick and choose what to include and what to scrap. As the project continued, I was able to build enough faith in the community that longer production time actually meant longer updates so it balanced out. The revamp, so far, is completely reshot. No CGs are reused. It's much more cinematic like what you see in the end game. There's also music now and the dialogue is redone, including new discussions, teasing, and stuff like that. I've also eliminated the repeatable grind that you have to go through in the first few chapters, that's being replaced with a more linear story because it was annoying. These revamp updates are coming out way faster than the old ones too. If you get a chance, check it out. I honestly think it's worth it even if you played the original. Just from the time you boot it up, it's a completely different experience for the early game.
Thanks so much for that info! I've started playing through it and agree, it definitely is an entirely different experience.
I want to say, I'm liking the changes so far. By the by, do you happen have anyone proofing/editing the script that you wrote, or is it just you?
Soooo, that's kind of a loaded question so i'll answer it from a few different angles. Thus far, Blayke my co-writer/editor has helped me with that stuff. However, that last v0.02 had a few typos that we missed in the rush. People on my Discord have offered some corrections which will appear in v0.03 that I'm working on the tail end of now.
The other side to that is that this story is written very imperfectly. It has it's own reasons for that and was more of an outlet for me than it was ever designed to be a cohesive tale. The pacing is sometimes off and my sense of time in the story is garbage (lol). I will say that I play to keep some of those imperfections because they're almost nostalgic to me at this point and I don't really want to buff them out. I also like a certain type of writing akin to Faulkner or Cormac McCarthy. i like those long dramatic run on sentences sometimes which are not technically correct but they capture the gravity of the picture in my head. Some of those have driven Blayke beyond the realm of madness and he has made several editing suggestions throughout and i've sometimes ignored some of those just because i wanted it authentically me.
Not sure if that answers your questions or not.
hi. it doesn't work on windows 32 bit. right?
I believe that it should work
indeed it doesn't
Ok, so I did some checking on this because it used to work. Apparently, Renpy (the coding program) has updated and no longer supports 32 bit for Windows and Linux as of version 8.x. According to Renpy's creator, the 32 bit environment "is not the best environment to run Renpy smoothly in all instances." I didn't realize this was a change with the recent update so sorry about the false info.
it's fine. thank you for your work.
Hey! I downloaded version 0.21.4 but there are no sounds in this game? should this be because the settings have that you can adjust the votes but nothing is heard?
heya. there is no sound in v0.21.4. that was my rough draft of the story so it's basically just the rough written story. the revamp is what i'm currently working on now and that has sound. if you're new to the game, i'd honestly recommend playing the v0.21.4 that you downloaded first to get the whole story. even after finishing the story, the revamp is a whole new experience that people are really enjoying
Thanks for the quick reply. I played yeah that remaster version already until when I could. I have now played this 0.21.4. a good story has been and I liked this thanks :)
good deal. glad you enjoyed :)
I played through the game and I just want to say that brought the story was absolutely wonderful! absolutely brilliantly embroidered! made me think about my own life, that you yourself sometimes fall in love so fervently and that love is so genuine... well reveal that I am gay and well myself has been difficult to find a relationship or I would have felt that love... tears came when I played this game... because the story is great but also at the same time became cried how in your own life there is no love... :/ thanks bro for this game! continue with the same pattern and my question is that at some point you were going to start making a whole new game?
aww. give it time. I don't think that's something you can rush and it works differently for everyone. I've said before that this game, the interactions, and the path they walk isn't not the "truth." It's not the "right" or "only" way of doing things. It's just one way that happened to be the path that these characters chose. That shouldn't be a standard for others. But if there's things within the story that resonate with you and things that you can take from it that will bring your joy or improve your own life, then take them. But definitely take the time to find your own way that's unique and special to you <3
Funny how you have them complain about the cold room, and render it with the WINDOW OPEN hehe
you can't overestimate the power of fresh air :)
i love this game
<3 thank you
You really did an amazing job, making a fun and engaging game, while still keeping it so much more realistic then most other games containing NSFW. Content.
I played this game, really only looking for another NSFW quick game to play for fun. And was so surprised, to find so much going on. Happy fun moments, friendship, responsibilities, moments of great suspense and or great sadness. A game I thought I would spend a few days playing, hooked me and I played through all the available content (at the time) in one night.
It's not only relatable in terms of accepting one's self and desires, like you've said. But it has so much more that really speaks to the player. Such as waiting to do certain things in life until you're older, the fears and insecurities that plague our minds, letting anxieties cripple you. Growing as a person. Making mistakes, that sometimes habe prolonged consequences. And how no matter how close you get to your friends a part of life is being willing to accept they habe their own path to take, and sometimes thay path leads away from yours. It hurts alot, but its a good pain. A pain of I miss you, but you have faith in your friends, and know one day you'll all meet again.
I hope one day you will make a sequel, or some continued parts of this story. It deserves so much. But you also deserve your time to do ehay you wanna do. I know you love your creation here, but you also need time to do other things, and have some fun with other projects you may be thinking of. So there is no rush.
I don't wanna ruin anything more then I habe of your story, but one part I really wish had more options for us to pick, would be when they go to the beach and a certain someone disappeared. I really don't like our character just sits there frozen going through his own thoughts instead of helping. Idk I just could never freeze up like that especially if someone o consider my friend and love deeply was potentially in danger. I know its supposed to play into their characters. But it kinds feels wrong here. Idk not asking you to change anything, simply sharing the only thing that I was conflicted about. Amazing work and thanks so much for sharing your hard work with us. I love it !
same for me, i only search for NSFW at first, but playing every episode from the start really pick my interest and got my feeling up and down, its just seems realistic with real life and how we would react when we were the character, been through giggle and tears by self when playing this.
All those plot hole really got me, never expected the outcoming in the last episode, i won't do spoiler, but this was a great story when you start from the first episode.
Maybe this game could be expanded into playing the other character as well so we will get another point of view, other than Zack pov, maybe we can see how Braden, Mikhail and Max (Ash) pov too, so we can completely understand the whole plot.
Maybe there were another theme on another season to continue the story, so the story doesn't really end now, when this story goes about communicate in relationship and dealing with sexuality label issue. The story could use topic about dealing with sexual protection and dissease, coming out to parents, coping about losing loved ones (partner, crush, or even friends), or maybe the struggle about getting on relationship on another country or another culture, and other struggle that always happen on daily life (gay relationship or another LGBT kind of relationship). The story could go many potential development, as they were still young college kids.
The devs were really awesome doing this visual novel, great job guys, really appreciate every bit of it
heya, thanks so much. I usually won't tell people how to read the story but i can tell from your post that you picked up all the things that i really wanted people to from this story so thanks, it's always reassuring to get messages like that.
In terms of the choices: Yeah, i wish their were more choices too. this was my first attempt at writing anything and i think it would be easier to write a book than a VN just because of all the branching paths and stuff. that can get out of hand really quick so i sorta limited them because my concentration is trash. Plus, the more paths i develop, the longer things take and people get antsy for updates. It's not very often people accusing me of being lazy but 2 or 3 have over the years and while i dont personalize those comments, the time it takes to create something like this is always on my mind.
the specific choice that you listed: the swimming accident, is a tough one. that's been heavily debated on our discord since it happened and i'll go on the record as saying that i have no regret for not giving the audience a choice. there was a lot that went into that moment and giving the reader a choice in that moment essentially breaks the story to me. I realized when i was writing this story that these characters and my ability to control them was out of my hands. they began to have a life of their own beyond me. i knew that for awhile but not until the beach scene. I found myself screaming at zack. i was frustrated and and angry and i wanted him to be a hero there... because that's what people are supposed to do. but in the reality is that that's not always what people do. sometimes trauma can twist you and zack's response in that scene is very much a realistic response. i couldn't control him and i was angry and i wanted the audience to feel the same like of control. while the game is a VN and we usually have choices associated with that to get the ending we want, it was never up to us, the audience, to choose this ending. these characters had to find what worked for them. a large part of this narrative was being yourself and finding who you really are. if the audience was allowed to change the story, or manipulate the character, that defeats the whole purpose because the characters would still have someone telling them who they were and who they should become.
i know some will disagree with that approach. hell, i disagree with it because there's things in the story that i would choose differently for them. but that wasn't my choice to make and i wanted to pass that along to the audience as well
this there a way to get with ash and/or Meakil?... maybe threesome or foursome?
nah. Rather than having a handful of "romance" routes in the game, i wanted to focus on polishing one route to the best of my ability. In time, the fan base grew to see most of my side characters as threats and it really took some careful handling to make a lot of the fans actually like anyone else even on a friend level. So no. no other romance routes. the fan base would have literally killed me, lol
I made this account to be able to comment and thank you for making this game, I honestly loved it and felt identified with many things. I would like to be able to donate something but right now I can't. By the way, are there plans for a sequel? I would love to see how the couple develops. Thank you very much for the story again!
Heya, glad you like the story and were able to identify or find things that you could pull that were applicable to your experiences. Don't worry about the donation stuff, the game is free for a reason. If you want to help out, you can always share or help spread word of the project-- that counts just as much. But no pressure. It's perfectly fine to just play it and enjoy it.
My official position on sequels right now has been that I have no plans for one. I worked hard to tie things up in a certain way at the end of this one and any sequel would potentially undo that. However, if i think of a story that's better than this one for a part 2, then I'll certainly give it a shot. i know people are interested in a sequel but i don't want to drag it out just as a money grab, ya know?
I think it's evident that you care deeply for this story and I'm glad that it resonated with a lot of people. There were parts of it that felt alienating to me. I remember reading one of the earlier chapters and there was a scene where Zack and Braden were talking about the "gay movement" that was off-putting to me. Had to take a break from the story for a while. When I came back to it, I was relieved that the politics were set aside in favor of getting to know the characters. I grew really attached to them, and was enjoying seeing the story progress. It was frustrating seeing the same political issue pop up again in a recent chapter.
I can empathize with feeling like you're maybe being judged or pushed to accept an identity that you're not ready for, but saying that gays that are comfortable with their sexuality make it their personality or "advertise it to everyone" (whatever that means) feels mean-spirited. Some of us can't or never wanted to pass for straight so we either had to accept ourselves or spend our lives miserable. I think closeted guys can be quick to say that out gays judge them but can't see how they're being judgemental as well.
Ultimately it's your story, write it how you want. Just trying to share a perspective you might not have considered.
Heya,
Thanks for the note and I'm glad you enjoyed most of the story. The early positions of Zack can certainly be off-putting to some, but they're common for many and that was just part of his character and that changes drastically over the course of the story. This story is written very existentially and that can be a very individual journey. I've stated that it's not the way towards acceptance, it's just a story about one person's slow shifting of ideas and what allows them to find and accept who they specifically are. Some of that may or may not be applicable to others. I've always encouraged people to take what benefits them from the story and leave what doesn't.
While I don't normally tell people how to interpret the story, I would disagree with what you took from it as I feel the bulk of the narrative argues on behalf of exactly what you wanted it to. In fact everything you're saying is a leading reason into why i wrote the story and it's a constant message from characters like Mikhail, Ash, and Braden as they try and beat it into Zack's head. Being much more public or overt regarding one's sexuality is completely valid and all the characters would agree with that as well-- even Zack at the beginning of the story would agree with that. The overwhelming bulk of the story very much states that people should become themselves or at least work towards that as much as possible--whatever that may be. Which very much includes someone who, as you said, "never wanted to pass for straight" or is more overtly expressive about their sexuality. I can't imagine these characters disagreeing with that lifestyle and I don't know of any part of the story in which they do. However, that more overt lifestyle may not apply to everyone and that's just as valid like Braden says. I guess I would compare it to an introvert versus an extrovert. Both are valid but trying to force one into the other would probably be catastrophic for their identity. I would also note that "introvert" here doesn't mean closeted. I think in the case of these characters, a more flamboyant and sexually open lifestyle isn't who they are, that doesn't mean they have ill feelings towards that lifestyle or judge people with that lifestyle, it just means that it's not them. I'm pretty introverted but that doesn't mean i judge or have ill feelings towards extroverts-- I just couldn't live that way and be happy, just like an extrovert could probably not live my lifestyle and be happy. We're different people and that's ok. Braden gives a few pretty long talks about that near the end. Honestly, Braden would probably be a blast around a more open and flamboyantly gay character. To me, this story was always about finding yourself on that continuum, wherever it may be, and living that out while also realizing others can live in a completely different way that brings them just as much happiness.
heyy
I'm the same person as 2 months ago hehe and I've been replaying it and a few questions were going through my head (and also replaying it again made me notice how accurate and relatable is Zack's character with his overthinking. I see myself so much) anyways the questions are: 1) what year are they in, in the game? is it like a specific year? Ernie refers to them as Millenials so.. 2) is it a made-up story or are some things from a true story? just curious :) 3) do you plan to do more games like this one? because I would be very excited to play it!!
thank you for your availability and for creating this game again haha :)
Hey,
No probs. I'm always up for questions. Also, I'm happy the story is still holding up after a few rereads.
1) The Year. So there's actually no year associated with the game. I've purposely tried to write the dialogue with references or slang that's all over the place. Some of the references Zack makes reference things from decades ago. But also other references are much more modern (like "millennials" and some technology references). I did that purposely to try to make the game transcend the readers age groups. I sorta wanted any legal age to be able to pick the game up and see something that's applicable to their generation.
2)True Story or not? For this question, I'm just gonna post a link to a Patreon post. It gives some background on the purpose of the game, too. Don't worry, it's a free post and you don't need a Patreon account to view the post. You can check it out here
Hope this helps. If you still have more questions, hit me up. And no problem on being available. I like being accessible as a developer. Lot of devs aren't or they just have a narcissistic attitude. It's honestly super humbling to talk to fans of the project so thanks for the interest <3
thank you omg!! also, another question that I forgot to ask is: did you take a major in psychology? because the words and the "thoughts" seem by someone who took a major in psychology. also, I love the phrase where zack says that people who study psychology want to fix other people's problems bc they can't fix their own because I'm doing psychology at school, and it's honestly funny how accurate it is. thank youu and have a good day/afternoon/night :)
haha. yeah, I have a masters in clinical psych. Finished it while I was working on this project actually.
And yeah, people taking psych classes to secretly fix themselves is huge. It's to the point that at the masters level, instructors are viewed as gatekeepers to try and filter some of those people out.
Honestly one of the best story games I've had the pleasure of reading. So much so that I compare a lot of the other ones to this one and it usually doesn't even come close haha This story really pulled me in and I could feel the raw emotion the characters were portraying. Well done man. I'm so glad I found this and played it out to the end.
well thank you. I really did want to do something different with this, which is maybe why you can't find other games like it. I wanted a heavy story, humor, rollercoaster emotions, and something that people could take something away from if they chose-- all within an adult context. It's a weird mix but I like the vibe of that because that's what living is to me. I know a few people have started writing their own stories after playing this so hopefully we start seeing more. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Stay tuned because the revamp is taking it up like 100 more notches in quality.
This game is litrally so good. This game mentally, emotionally, and phisically made me feel better about my self and the characters in this game. I absolutely love the story its phenominal, the characters itselfs are phenominal everything is phenominal. This honestly is my favorite game in the whole world to the point where I can't even express my emotions. You deserve the world and you should definitely give yourself a shoulder pat for this.
aww, well thank you. I really appreciate this. I'm glad it had an impact on you. warm fuzzy messages like this are my shoulder pat so thank you <3
I love the new stil of your side.
hehe. thanks. it's a work in progress. I've been wanting to redo things over here to reflect the new direction of the game development but website updates take a ton of time and that's time away from actual development so I tend to put it off. I'm gonna do a quick note to all the followers over here when I get things finalized. glad you like it tho. thanks :)
hey, if you dont mind me asking, what do you use to create your visual novel? i want to make my own but i dont know how
heya. sure thing. So there's a few different engines that you can use for VNs but Renpy seems to be the most popular. I've never coded in my life and I'm still not good at it but you can do most basic stuff with Renpy without too much trouble. It's also good for games like Straight!? that has a TON of dialogue. Unity is another one that some people role with but from what I hear, it's a little more tedious in starting a new conversation box whereas Renpy is just a new line in the script. You can pretty much google or youtube Renpy tutorials. If I had a recommendation to start with, I'd probably go with that but honestly I'm not that knowledgeable about this stuff, I only know what I've had to figure out to do this game.
In terms of art, you can just draw the stuff you want if you're good at that. Others will hire an artist and write their own story and just work as a duo. I use Daz3D for the art in Straight!? Blender is also good if you need to make custom 3D stuff
ok thank you, this helps !!
sure thing. no problem. good luck. it's suuuuuper overwhelming at first (and by "at first" i mean for like the first 3 years, lol)
this is me still building up the courage to finish it months later..
well, if it makes you feel better, i'm working on the revamp so you get to start all over again if you're up to it. However, i haven't figured out a way to post it on here yet to make it easy. I'm working on redoing this page to incorporate it but you can still download it for free on my patreon
im down to go through all the feels again, is it on your patreon right now ?
yep. It’s very short. Just the first day but I’m hoping to have the next section out next week. Here’s the direct link to the post if that helps
https://www.patreon.com/posts/72286791?utm_campaign=postshare_creator
This game is excellent. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll get super hard, it has everything
it's the circle of life, Simba :)
it moves us all
Played the revamped version of day one. Mostly a vast improvement over the original and I like the subtle changes that set up later conversations.
I do think the dialog between the two characters sounds more like college professors rather than college students now. Just doesn't seem as natural and spontaneous as it did before.
Braden's reaction in the shower is closer to what I would expect as a response to Zack creeping and probably my favorite story change of the first day.
A comment about Braden dragging his stuff up to the fourth floor when the room is stated later to be on the third reminded me of a story my younger brother told me.
How, when he was in the Air Force and stationed in the UK he never really got used to how they numbered their floors. In the US, the ground floor and first floor are typical the same. In the UK, you often have to go up a flight of stairs to get to the first floor. Drove him crazy.
lol, college professors, really? i thought the original dialogue was just poorly worded and stuff. I tried to fill in some of the blanks and just make it more conversational than it did before. looking back on it, it read really juvenile to me-- and not juvenile as in the age group but just in the writing style. We'll see how it plays out for ya. it's an interesting perspective that i definitely hadn't seen yet.
in terms of the creeping, i'm glad you liked it. that's going to be a difficult thing during the revamp so i'm going to have to be really careful with it. i'm glad i got this first checkpoint out of hte way, though
and tbh with you, i hate the numbering of floors too
And I thought the original dialog was a nice blend of posturing, bantering and d*ckish behavior as the two got to know each other. It's one of the things that stood out to me because typically in these VNs, everyone is almost an insta-friend so we can get to the sex. (aside: I'm finding that it helps me in doing my writing to read the dialog out loud.)
To be more specific about the shower scene, Braden has just caught this stranger named Zack, who "told" him that he was bi, checking him out in the shower. I find the new version takes the fact that they're strangers still into account whereas the older version really didn't.
And the floor numbering thing wasn't really a complaint (none of this is really, just feedback) but a Slumdog Millionaire moment.
Anyway, keep up the great work.
Just out of curiosity, how far out is the poker game?
no worries. I didn't take offense or anything. I'm pretty chill. I definitely agree with you on the insta-friend stuff. I wanted the bulk of the story to be how they grow closer and to make that worth it, I wanted a slow burn and highs and lows.
The poker game is a ways out and in terms of how long in real time it's gonna take to get there is up in the air. The rewrites at the beginning are very slow to try and organize the code that was split all over the place into more of a streamlined design. It's just frustratingly slow right now. However, once we get to chapter 2 or 3, that should speed up significantly because I won't have to organize anymore, I'll just be looking at the writing and doing some polishing so i anticipate that updates will happen much faster or be much larger. Just bare with me for the first couple chapters to straighten (no pun intended) this mess out.
Cool. I read in one of you're replies to someone that you had wanted the poker sequence to be more interactive Being and old CompSci guy, I have been dinking around with that using this decision tree:
https://imgur.com/A5nSGh8
-movement is top to bottom
-The numbers are clothing layers (4 for Zack, 4 for Braden to begin)
-The yellow nodes are hands (and separate renpy labels) and each row of yellow is a round.
-The black lines are renpy jump commands.
-The player decides who wins in a menu.
-I'm using a variable to track who was the previous winner for those nodes that have two entry points and an if-then test to provide the appropriate dialog.
-The nodes with zeroes on them represent the strip scenes.
-What is not on the diagram is the four labels you would need for the post-Braden-win strip that Braden does.
-In my version, Zack's wins move down and left, Braden's down and right.
Yeah, so (and your diagram starts to show this pretty quickly) it doesn't take very long for that process to get out of hand. Granted, I have better hardware now than I did back when I was trying to construct that stuff before-- and I'm a tad faster with image creation (all while focusing more on other details); even creating a scene like that with that many choices by yourself can quickly balloon. My old choice was to only give a couple options and play to my strengths-- the writing and story versus spending time on added images and coding, which I was very poor at. It would be fun to have something like that have a lot of routes but even though the game is free, some people get pretty impatient about updates and they don't usually understand how long it takes to create that stuff by yourself. Sure, I could hire other people to help me but when you start breaking the math down to an hourly wage, I only make a few dollars an hour so that can get pretty rough to hire more help. IDK, we'll see what the future holds with that scene in particular. I may add a few new features or I just may keep it the same just for the sake of simplicity. I don't plan many of those things in advance, I sorta just feel it out when the time comes. I've had better results that way from a storyline perspective.
Felt obligated to become a patron and leave a comment purely because of the quality of a game for probably the first time. The character writing and story are absolutely incredible, especially for something I didn't even have to pay for. One of those rare gems that leaves a small hole in your heart after you finish and you have to think about what to do next. I didn't really know what to expect when I downloaded it but it was way more content and depth than I was ready for and I really appreciate being able to play it. Can't say I have a really heavy story and that this is like a mirror for my life or anything like a lot of people here, but it was one of the most gripping and raw stories I've encountered. Thank you :)
yo, thanks a lot and i'm glad you liked it. It's crazy meaningful to me when people are moved to become a first time commenter on this game. I never thought this thing would get the kind of attention and response that it did and I'm truly humbled by that. And you don't have to be able to relate to it the way the characters are, but I'm happy you enjoyed it anyway. Not everyone has to have a battle with their sexuality. Honestly, i don't know you but I'm glad you didn't have the same story. Thank you for the kind words and for taking the time to leave a post
Also, thanks for the finnacial support but please dont feel obligated. i made this thing free for a reason.
been a long time now,will this ever be finished?
depends on what you mean by "finished." The current build that's here goes to the end of the game. I'm working on a revamped version now that's going back through the early stages of the game to upgrade the graphics, add music, and fix some of the crap writing where i didn't know what i was doing. the revamped demo is posted on my patreon page for free. i just haven't uploaded it here yet because I'm trying to figure out how to post 2 versions of the game. I'd like to keep the full story version which i'm considering the "rough draft." but also post the revamped for free here as it comes out.
just that,it still says in development?
it's very much still in development. This is my first project so I'm not sure if you know how much involvement it is in creating something like this. Since i use 3DCG, it's basically like a movie set where i have to write the script, play each actor for each shot, position the studio lights and snap the picture. That usually takes me about an hour per pic depending on how involved it is. The current build has over 50k lines of code that I've had to write with no coding experience until this. I've also never written anything before and I didn't make outlines for the game ahead of time because i wanted to be surprised like the readers are. Basically, the way i've explained it before is take some movie or game you like and sit down and watch the entire credits and once they're over, just assume that all of that was just one person that tags in 2 other buddies to help out on the writing and visuals, but i'd say around 90% of it is just me. We've at 21 updates on this thing and each one of those updates has taken me thousands of hours before they were ready. I have no idea how many tends of thousands of hours I've spent on this but I usually work at least 50 hours at week on it. Usually around 70 now. making a game by yourself is the dumbest thing ever. it's why most of them get abandoned. But this was a passion project and i wanted full control over it and i've been stubborn
This game is incredible, there are so many thoughts Zack had that I had myself when I was figuring out who I am (I still am but I've come a long way) I see a lot of myself in his character and Braden is just the cherry on top. There are some life lessons I got from this story that, even if it hits me really hard in the feels and makes me really face reality, I'll take for life.
I just have to thank you for making this game, I never expected the story to impact me so much as it did and it has become one of my all-time favorite games. I'll definitely replay it soon and replay it again when the revamp update is out!!!
Really hope we see a sequel soon!!!
Thanks again!
hey thanks a lot for checking in. I'm glad the "lessons" were something that you responded to. I've been very careful to state that the story isn't "true" in a sense or "right." It's just a way that worked for me to connect some life dots that I was really stubborn about. Glad you could relate and i wish you the best on your own journey. Take what's applicable and leave the rest :)
in terms of a sequel, nothing is planned for this story. i told the story i wanted to tell and I wrapped it up in the way that I wanted to. but i'm a pretty open guy so we'll see, if a better story comes to me, then we'll do it all again. Stay tuned though, i'll be posting the revamped version over here before long. It's already free on the Patreon page if you wanna go snag it. It's just the first day of the game so it's very short but it's my proposed changes and it's blown people away so far. way better than this version but it's just a prototype. I'm still working on the rest of chapter 1
Just played the revamp demo and wow, good job it looks incredible!! I can't wait for the full release, I'll definitely play it one more time.
Whether it's a new project or a full sequel I'm looking forward to what you do next!
thanks a lot. glad you liked the revamp. it's a crazy upgrade from the original. hoping to take all those feels to another level.
um... i have no idea what you're talking about. Are you unsure why the game is NSFW, are you stuck at the beginning where things repeat, did you finish the game and didn't understand it? I'm totally lost. Also, please make sure you're at least 18 years old if you're playing this. Thanks
Love the game! I identify with Zack so much. Had a bad experience when I was younger with my first love (his parents) and it took me a long time to accept my sexuality. Keep up the awesome work!
PS. Would love to see a continuation with them.
heya. glad you liked it. sorry about your bad experience though. i hope you found peace with that. I was pretty stubborn accepting myself too (hence why the damn story is so long :P )
i'll be honest. i only picked up this game because i was looking for some erotic visual novel. didn't expect any depth, just some pornographic visuals.
boy i did not expect this rollercoster. honestly i fell completely in love in this game. the characters and dialogues are so well written i was completely engulfed in the story right away.
not to mention how much i could resonate with Zack, like to the point of reading through his inner monologues and feeling like i was reading my diary or some shit. i went through almost the same kind of thoughts and feelings in my younger years and it made me so self aware of how much harder i made my life with my self doubting and avoidance of real deep conversations.
i wish i had my own Mikhail when i was 19. might've shook me and actually helped get through my troubled and confusing times like he helped Zack (like for real, Mikhail is a fucking angel and definitely my favorite character).
thank you so fucking much for this game and this experience and i cant fucking wait to play this again in the revamped version!
I appreciate comments like this and always enjoy when people are surprised that it's not just some lame porn game with a nonexistent plot. Glad you appreciated Mikhail, too. The revamped version looks amazing so far. I haven't posted it over here but it's free over on my Patreon. I'm actually just trying to figure out the easiest way to post the revamp here while still keeping the old version with the full story so stay tuned
also, i see there are 2 routes to this game. are they different throughout the whole game or just the ending? is it worth going for the respect route if i finished the pervy route already?
to save yourself some time, you can just go to chapter 9 from the new game menu and select the respect route and you’ll get the jist of it. Basically the story is written in a generic way that changes the tone of the story based on the routes. Different scenes may have the same dialogue but a few changes throughout the story just have those scenes have a completely different meaning. However the biggest difference is in chapter 9 where the routes completely split before merging back together again
I'm a returning player from the early days of the game and it is so dang hot and cute! As a gay guy myself I have absolutely adored this game and the cute characters within! Maybe after you get done with this game, you can make an interactive one with you getting one of the boys as your own virtual boyfriend. Only after this game is complete tho. And there would be lots of fetishes and stuff if you did make a game like that. I'm sure it would be just as popular as this one is. I'm so glad for the good work you have done and I can't wait for future updates!
I also appreciate the smaller file size than it was years ago. And talk about a battery saving game, this one has used the least of the 28 I have. From a 4000mAh battery, this thing only used 13% in about TWO hours!
Again thank you Aaryn Reece for making such an amazing game and I can't wait for future updates to this heartwarming, and sexy game. I'm a loyal fan for life!
I'm not sure what the future holds. I have a few ideas and I'll play around with things. A lot of what you mention could be fun but can also be very involved projects so I'd have to really be invested in the story. I refuse to start something that I don't finish. I really want to have a good track record.
In terms of file size, yeah my buddy Jordyn helps with that stuff. He's been able to crunch the files down and still keep the quality that we see in the 4k images
Thank you. I love the storyline so much too it's as if they are real. I felt the compassion they showed to each other
Hello again Aaryn;
So yesterday when I was getting to the end of the story and Braden and Zack were talking in the park just before going their separate ways, there was a comment that made me realise I would see a different conversation if I were to choose the Pervy route in, I think it was Chapter 2. So today I started again (thankfully there's a skip button!). I chose the pervy route and was skipping through to chapter 9 or 10. But when I got to the swim team meeting, I suddenly hit a different path. Yesterday, Mikhail went after Ash while Zack went looking for Braden, found him and they had the talk at the waterfall. I'm not sure exactly how I hit the alternate path, but suddenly, there's Zack going after Ash. My reaction was much like Ash's; what? Oooo, a mystery! When they got to the gym, I was laughing. But then the whole thing turned sour and then actually became ugly. But when it was all said and done, I found myself thinking that that version was a much better conversation between the two of them (Braden and Zack).
Once again, congratulations on some truly great story telling!
Rigel
P.S. I think Cody is the hottest guy in the story! He's so cute and has a killer body.
yep, the routes are very similar but very different at the same time. The theme in both routes is "communication." The pervy route does get pretty ugly for a bit but it was designed that way to force that conversation and see if these two could work shit out constructively. I wanted to show a template for how a conversation about something ugly could actually play out in a healthy way-- how two people that care about each other could actually listen to the other one and try to empathize. The pervy route, after all is said and done is probably the better written route with more twists and stuff. TBH, I just wanted to mess with the people that were playing the game for pervy reasons so that's another reason why there's such a big twist to it. Plus, let's be honest: it has more Ash and who doesn't love that?!! :p
I agree. My partner and I had that kind of communication. The only time we "argued" was if something was very trivial (World of Warcraft was one such thing). But if it was important, we discussed it, analysed it, formulated options then logically chose the option that would hurt the least. Both of us were intelligent and responsible adults. The whole communication thing is what makes your novel so engrossing. I believe it's why people have responded so well to it. People are starved in this day and age for communication and understanding. So again, job well done!
i agree and it gives an adult novel a lot more depth too when there's an actual point to it besides just trying to score
I just started getting into New Hope by your friend Blayke. That one holds a fair bit of promise too. He's all ready made me feel sorry for the "villain". LOL I'm such a sap!
Dear Aaryn;
I sat up until 4:15 am last night to finish reading Straight?! I've been reading it since earlier this year. First of all, let me say I loved this story.
In the second chapter (?) there was a point where it seemed like it just repeated the get up-go to class-go to bed-repeat cycle far too often. I almost quit as that was so boring! But I figured, there has to be more to it than this.
Then you got past that and settled into building the story. I've been reading about 6 of these visual novels this past year and while most are vague stories stringing together an endless parade of porn scenes, Straight?! isn't. You flat out have the best written, most in depth and most well fleshed out characters and story of all of the VN's I've been reading. What a breath of fresh air! In the late 1990's I was the editor for a science fiction magazine and was often asked by budding writers what the key to success was. I always told them, I have to believe in your character, I have to care what happens to them. If they're cardboard cutouts, I'm not interested. I believed your characters; I saw pieces of myself in each of them. I cared about them. Reading through v0.21.4 yesterday I cried numerous times (I lost count after 12 or so LOL); because I cared about these characters. To me, that's what makes this story so beautiful.
I'm a 61 year old man who spent his youth vacillating between being horny and cruising parks for sex to then hating myself and my entire existence for doing it. I was almost 30 before I was able to settle in and accept me for me. Not long after that, I met a woman who also accepted me as I was (I'm pansexual btw). Those were the best 26 1/2 years of my life! She died in 2019 and I will probably live the rest of my life alone (romantically) but safely connected to a handful of truly wonderful friends. I think our life experiences are very similar.
I'm sure you've heard this before, but, I'd happily read a sequel. After all, that was only the first semester! I know when you finish a story, it's difficult to create a second one. After all, that story is finished! But if you find another story to tell, I would happily read it. You are a truly good story teller.
Thank you very much.
hello. First off, let me apologize for the delay in response; i finally got covid for the first time and I've been down for days so I'm catching up. Hopefully the delay didn't give you the wrong impression. I also want to say that I don't know you but I'm sorry for your loss. You're much further down the road of life than I am and I can't imagine that, especially when it sounds like you had a hard time finding someone you really clicked with. I hope you find closure and peace there--whatever that looks like for you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate the praise coming from someone with writing/editing experience, given that I'm still just stumbling through and learning as I go. I'm glad that I was able to pull you in to these characters and get you invested. I'm not the fastest writer out there and I really have to feel things out when I'm working on it-- from the feedback I've gotten, that seems to pay off and most people seem to be ok with my process of trying to get it right. I have no plans for a sequel right now. that would be a massive undertaking considering i'm 5 years into this version but we'll see. It would have to be better than this. but I'm gonna keep my mind open to it. Thanks for your kind words. i really appreciate it <3
Thank you for your kind words. Don't apologise for the delay; I'm not the "instant gratification" type of person. I do hope you're feeling better now! Getting it right is always worth the wait! ;)
thanks a lot. Yep, i'm doing better and back at working again. Just trying to make up for losing a few days :)
Hi everyone and specially to the writer, I can not believe this game, I have never seen a gay game, not played one before and my friend told me about it. I have to say, it was not what I expected and half of the game is almost my life. Thanks for clarify so many things for me, I was in a dark place and you just give me answers to questions I didn't knew I had. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart, thanks you. Please dont stop the game here, Please continue their stories, there is so much you can write and so much that can help others, me included. Please dont stop the game in here, please continue.
heya. thanks for the support and tell your friend thank you for the recommendation and for passing the game along. I don't market much so I'm pretty dependent on word-of-mouth. I'm glad the game gave you a little bit of light during some shit times. please also don't take the arguments of points of view in this as being true, though, find your own way. This is just the story of the headspace where I was when I wrote it. that could change for me as well. but if some of the stuff made sense to you and you find it helpful, i'm honored to be a part of that process. we'll see where the future is. like the writing for this game, i dont plan much, i've tried and it's just less enjoyable for me--especially with the projects and stuff. so i'm keeping an open mind on the road ahead. if a better chapter comes along, then we'll see it-- if not, i have to be comfortable enough with this to walk away and not screw it up by making it longer. thank you for your kind words and for your excitement. all the best to you for today and all the days after :)
I'm not okay (I am tho, don't worry (maybe just a little)).
I demand a sequel that covers the next 70 years of their lives. This probably would leave me in shambles as well, but I enjoy suffering for gay stuff, that's what gets me going 💅✨.
I've been following the project since... I don't know, something tells me since mid 2020, but I've had been quite distant, waiting for some updates to pack, and then I downloaded the newest version just to have me killed like that.
Also, that moment when they were talking about kids, I felt so pissed at Zack. He kept talking and talking, and if I were Braden I would've smacked his ass. But I guess I only felt that way cuz I was there once, maybe, and when you have such a relatable character you start feeling as is you're in their shoes, idk, seemed as if I was reliving the old me and that can be quite enfuriating, as if you're watching a horror movie where the character wants to go to the basement and you just want them to stop cuz no good will come of that. It's a process and I know that, but still makes me go AHHHHHHHHH.
Anyway, I could keep on rambling (just like Zack (see, been there)), but I'll bring this to an end (JUST LIKE YOU DID TO ME 😭 (being dramatic, nothing new here)). I really loved the game, really heartwarming, I want a Braden for myself, I'd love to see more of them, but that was more than enough. Thank you for your awesome work! ❤❤❤
heh, i'm glad you've stepped out of the shadows from being a secret fan for a few years. Zack can be infuriating-- but he's been me over this entire project and I really tried to focus on the things that kept me from accepting myself. Those don't' have to apply to everyone but I'm glad there's been a taste of that for you. If nothing else, the fury you direct towards him sounds like a sign of growth. I appreciate the long-term follow and I appreciate you stepping out of the shadows to share your experience. We're all in this life together as we stumble through and try to figure out our own path. Mikahil called it: nobody else knows what they're doing either; just live and be kind to others. that's a start. thank you for the long time support and for breaking your silence. it made me smile to know you're out there <3
owwww so cute
It's really nice to find people with similar experience, even if they're characters from a game (tho they're a product of your experiences, so not that fictional). Life itself is quite a rollercoaster and to see those ups and downs neatly represented is awesome, plus having that fantasy bit where you get to experiment stuff that you may not be capable of living (for multiple reasons) and having that leading to a good end, really good.
I've just joined the discord server, so I guess I'll get to keep in touch with the characters and their world through the community. Once again, thank you for your work and for your time!! 😊❤️
well glad to have ya. i may have missed you signing in. I usually try and say hello to everyone but I've been back and forth from my computer the past week or so and my replies have been a bit spotty. but tag me and say hey on there. i dont mind. we're pretty friendly and talk to people daily
oh, you did tag me and said hello, I wasn't even expecting that, caught me off guard. I've already sent some messages and I'm still trying to find the right pace, and that's alright. By now I'm struggling with time zones differences, whenever I wake up there's dozens of texts from everyone lol.
that’s good to hear. We really tried to foster a decent little community of fans. There’s game talk and life talk. Supposed to just be supportive and figure things out together. I used to say hey to everyone then it started to get bigger and the game work got more involved so I miss a few— especially with time zones. I still try and welcome as many as I can though. Glad I spotted ya and welcome :)
I can't believe how engrossed in this game I was. Nothing could have prepared me for how attached to the characters I eventually became and the actual lessons that the game taught me. It makes me look at things a little differently... and I can't believe it's over. But, I'm so Invested now that I can't wait for the new updates as we slowly make our way to the final draft of this game. I'm really butthurt that I can't keep reading more and to be honest, I want this to become a movie already. I love all of the characters to death and no game has ever touched me like this. Keep it up, please!
Much love,
Angel
aww, well thank you. if it's any consolation, the future updates will focus on the early parts of the game that are the weakest so, while you've already seen those scenes in a sense, you'll get to relive them again with new dialogue and some more reading. Not sure if that helps but I miss them already, too
Thank you so much for this game. I just got to the chapter "Deeper" and I had to stop because I was so close to crying. This game is absolutely beautiful and it spoke to me in a way nothing has before. I'm currently on a work trip and am very, very, very lonely and my mind turned to what it always does: how lonely and isolated I feel. I never understood why I knew I was gay and yet couldn't actually be gay. I've never kissed, never done anything.
Then Zack explained it. I hate it and I wish I could just be... fuck, normal isn't the word because your story made it clear "normal" isn't worth jack shit. But I grew up in a religious household, my father walked out when I came out and spent the next week drinking. I wish I was something else sometimes, but I could never put that into words.
Being gay is so hard sometimes... it's easy to feel alone when you don't feel like anyone understands you. But Zack does. I'm getting teary just writing this, so I'll keep this part short, but I've never felt to seen. I don't care about the pride movement or what the world says I should be as a gay man, but I'm not traditional. I don't care about my clothes or anything I'm told gay men like.
I just exist and it's so liberating for a gay character to finally show that. I'll be honest- I downloaded this game looking for something far different from what I got and honestly I'm very happy you did me this service. I know you don't know me, but I'm sitting in an empty hotel room right now breaking down because for the first time in my life I get to see myself... and I don't know how to process it.
Your story has changed my life, seriously. Something inside my brain feels different now, like some portion of me that I was trying to change or suppress has come out of the shadows. I know I'm not Zack- I'm not naturally talented or calm and relaxed (at least, I'm not capable of putting up that kind of façade). But I see now I've allowed others to dictate just who I am- that I'm too loud or annoying. I even constantly put myself down. I'm not going to anymore. I'm going to try to be the person I can be proud of, because if I can't do that then what's even the fucking point? I don't need a fairytale kiss, but I'll be damned if I let myself die without showing myself who I am. Fuck the world and their opinions on who I am, from here on out I will try my hardest to be myself.
I kinda got off track there at the end... but thank you. For everything. I look forward to seeing what you do next.
I wish you the best with this. for me it was a journey. well, it still is and I'm ok with that. I figure if I act like the ride is over, then I really can't grow any more after that. You're very much into the part of the game where I started going off the rails and doing my own thing. I moved away from the old genre of VNs and just had an experience that really meant a lot to me and it was fun playing that out with the characters. I'm glad that Zack is able to validate some of your feelings and allow you to feel like you're part of something besides yourself. He helped me do the same and I'm eternally grateful. To me, the meaning of life isn't a hard question to answer, the answer is to find meaning in life. Like you said, otherwise, what's the point just existing? but also take that process at your own pace. work things out and be open to it making sense in your own way. dont rush into it. self improvement and development should be calculated. I hope you enjoy the last 2 chapters <3
I'm still kinda putting it off, to be honest. It's phenomenal but I sincerely don't want to finish. I almost feel like I'm disrespecting the story if I finish it, although why I don't know. For the first time in a long time, I think I'm just experiencing some painstaking growth and I'm not really used to it. I think about this story daily and how I can become a better person from it, which feels odd to me but also really great? I know you've probably got more important things going on, but thank you again. I'm going to try to be a better me for a while and see what it feels like. I owe it all to you. Thank you again and I look forward to see what comes next for you!
if you're too busy living your life to play my game, that's good enough for me. I smiled when I read this and please dont feel compelled to finish it. You dont have to. and that comes from me that wrote it. You're self reflections and revelations will do more for you personally than I ever can. when you're ready for my ending, it's here and it's free.... if you never need it, please accept that's ok too. may you find your version of happiness in this world <3
hey
i just wanted to say thanks for creating this game, it helped me back in february where i wasnt feeling very well mentally and had to skip school until may bc of that but your game really went along with me through those months and i cannot explain how thankful i am tysm for making this oml and the characters and i cried so many times bc of how relatable they were omg. ngl im gonna replay it again now haha :D
ty <3
wow, this really means a lot and I'm really glad you shared this. I'm glad you made it through those months and I'm thankful that my little project somehow had a role in that. i hope you continue to improve and take care of yourself. I think one thing that all these characters have in common is that they're good people and if you could relate to them then that probably means you're a good person too. keep your head up and keep moving forward 'cause even during the worst parts... well... nothing lasts forever. thanks for sharing this <3
Hey,
I just want to say....I fucking hate this....cause I love it so much. I am a huge emotional wreck at the moment but definitely a story that is needed to be told. Can't recall how many times I have cried while reading this every time it updates. How each and every character I related to so much, since I have had similar experiences. This story and where I am at in life honestly is fucking resonating and I appreciate how it fucked me up emotionally.
Thank you =]
haha. thank you for sharing your awful experience with my game :p
I'm kidding but nah, thanks. It's so weird that when i stripped off who i am and wrote something for the first time, i wrote a damn emotional romance story. Though, i'm sorry it fucked you up emotionally, I hope that turns into a healing process and not just a nuke that blew everything up. Obviously, i've been there, too, i wrote the damn thing and i wrote it in real time as i walked through it. I'm glad the story has meant something to you throughout all the updates and I hope you find a way to allow yourself peace and a happy ending that makes you cry for all the reasons you ever wanted <3
Heya,
I'm a great fan of this game and I absolutely love the story (although I haven't played it 'till the end yet). Recently I read that you wanna add a soundtrack. Actually I have some experience with composing, mixing and mastering. So, if you want me to, I would love to compose some tracks for this.
heya. thanks for the interest. Yep, I'm working on music and sounds now for the remake. It's taken a bit of time to get started mostly because i'm navigating websites and copyright stuff but I'm anticipating that it'll speed up in the future. The first demo should have enhanced pictures that are lightyears ahead of what the original looked like as well as music and sound effects.
I think for someone like you that is interested in composing, I would probably be a pretty frustrating person to deal with, lol. This was a passion project from the start so I'm pretty attached to it-- which makes me stubborn and opinionated sometimes. However, when it comes to music, I can't really articulate what I want exactly. So I want something but don't know what I want, but I'm stubborn anyway, lmao. I just know when I find something and it feels right, then I squeal and point at it. So it's a weird thing for others to deal with when I'm not sure what I even want.
But I also wrote this story in real time and only planned a few parts of it in advance, so picking the music out one track at a time as I get to each point in the story is very on brand for me. However, that's probably awful for composers to deal with. One of my dev team guys is good with sound and has a good setup so he's putting up with me right now. I'm also looking at royalty free sites to make things legal. I seriously appreciate the interest. I've had a few people over the years interested in composing stuff but it's hard to help me out when I'm the only person that can hear it in my head and I have no idea how to describe it. It's mostly just inexperience on my part. If you have stuff you wanna pitch or send over, I'm very open to listening to it. I just don't want you to personalize it if I don't roll with it. I may actually publicly post the main menu before long and that has one track on it
Alright, I understand your point :)
That's actually more relaxed for me, since that way there's no pressure on me to finish a whole soundtrack.
How can I send a track to you, in the case that I have an idea?
If you have Discord, you can DM me directly on there. It goes to my desktop and my phone.
https://discord.com/invite/qAG3qek
Thank you
This game hit me in a way I've never experienced before. By the end I was an emotional wreck. Thank you so much for making this experience!
thank you. I'm glad you appreciated the rollercoaster. It's been an experience for me as well <3
I love this game, the story is so good and, I felt so comfortable with the characters and everything. this is definitely one of my favorite games rn!
aww. thank you. glad you liked it <3
I found this game and downloaded it on a whim. I had low expectations, preparing myself for a visual feast and "typical" gay storyline. Admittedly, the spelling and grammar need an editor (I'd be happy to help in that capacity), but I was quickly drawn into the story despite my cavalier attitude toward the content.
I'm not a gay man, though I am someone who holds all humans to be valuable in and of themselves, in addition to the experience and perspective each can provide. I have a background in several scientific fields, and have always tried to approach life based on evidence and my own core rule: minimize harm and maximize well-being.
I was not prepared for the depth of the story or the development of the characters presented. I reached the end of the present release and spent an hour crying, unwillingly thrust into my own past and all my moments with friends, lovers, and family.
Thank you for that. I'll be sharing this project with others who may need reminders of important lessons.
heya, I really appreciated the candid nature of this post. It made me laugh at first because I can relate to it. A lot of gay stories seem cliché or, in the adult realm, are just shallow and horny. Straight!? doesn't do anything crazy different other than trying to provide substance to the genre it's told in. It's a coming of age story and we've all read or heard tons of those. But, I did put a lot of passion into it and I'm pleased that people are able to actually feel that. I'm not sure your scientific background, I'm a psych guy and I think my story holds water within the psych field, regardless of theoretical orientation and I'm pleased to hear that you feel it holds weight in your eyes.
I have a handful of favorite responses from people and you nailed a few of them here. I like people starting this with low expectations and then being surprised. That's always fun to hear for a first time writer here. I also love when it holds up to people who aren't gay. I wanted to try and create a universal story here that was mostly applicable to those who have struggled with their sexuality, but I also wanted people who didn't, to find something from it-- even if it was just appreciating what you have and respecting your own journey of being in this world.
In terms of the writing, I do have a guy who helps me with editing. However (and this is a massive HOWEVER that I'm emphasizing here to defend him), most of the writing flaws and editing problems are probably still in there because I'm stubborn. I didn't write this story in an organized fashion, honestly I think I bled it over 5 years. The writing tone is inconsistent and there's massive run on sentences, that to me, read like a poetic rant that captures my voice and intentions at the time. When i'm frustrated about something I talk a lot and I know my speech throws punctuation out the window. That's real to me so i wanted to capture that within the story because of it's honesty. Time in the story is also kinda wonky because I've never written anything before. I didn't know how to structure that. Perhaps in a future project, I'll be more careful and outline things better. But this, in many spots, i left very raw. It's kinda like a journal that was turned into a fictional story. It's not perfectly structured or written and I was kindof protective in keeping it that way. That being said, the first 3 chapters are written very poorly and i can't stand them, lol. Those need some work and that's my next mission. But I know I broke a lot of literary rules in other parts of the story and much of that was intentional despite my co-writer suggesting otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense or not.
Also, thanks for sharing the story. I really appreciate that; especially if it's going to help someone or remind them of something important. I appreciated your post and thank you for taking the time to write it :)