at first i was hesitant to play this because i dont like playing demos and knowing ill end up on a cliffhanger for what might be a year for each new chapter, but i actually really liked this and didnt mind it. this might be the best written interactive story ive ever read, AND ITS ONLY BEEN ONE CHAPTER
NOT REALLY SPOILERS, JUST PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT SO I DONT SPAM BC THIS IS GONNA BE A VERY LONG LOVEMAIL/REVIEW FOR THE GAME:
the customization was AMAZING, though i do wish there were some more hair color options and perhaps scars (if there was scars and i forgot, im sorry LOL i have a short memory), but even if that doesn't change, it's fine without it.
the characters are also amazing, and i love the diverse pronoun choice for them, even neopronouns; usually games just stick with he/she, and sometimes they/them. this might be the first one i saw with more pronoun options, which was very pleasant. i also enjoy how gods have no gender and it's only presentation, as a femme sapphic who really likes masc/butch women but often has to deal with female characters in games being hyper fem due to the assumption of the people going after them being cishet men. usually i just date male characters and pretend theyre a beautiful butch in my mind to deal with this, but with this game i feel like i dont have to do that. even with characters who are feminine, it feels more natural somehow? all i can describe it as, is that i feel the care that went into this game and making the characters actually realistic.
the gameplay itself is also amazing; the choices, being able to lie and be a little mischievous at times, the skillsets (i dont know what to call them,,), the WRITING IS SO IMMERSIVE ALSO LIKE HELLO?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE UNIVERSE WAS AMAZING, AND TO BE HONEST, i chose "i dont feel loved by the universe" AND THE DESCRIPTION OF THAT FEELING WHEN I CHOSE THAT?? IT MADE ME TEAR UP IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. it reminds me of classic literature and those amazing poems you'd see on pintrest, or even the mincraft end-game dialouge thigny!!!
i genuinely dont think i have ANY critique from this game. the only thing i do want is more options because i love to play as my ocs in IF games, but this one already has so many options that i could make do without my array of fancy hair and eye colors. i also usually struggle to play games while being neurodivergent due to most choices being,, way too out there, or way too rude, but this game had a very nice middle ground where i felt like i could actually act as i would without it being weird for me, which honestly made me kind of emotional. being able to play as an autistic mc, with my symptoms, who i feel can unmask, is very meaningful for me. of course it isnt exact, and there were still times i had to make ooc (for me at least) choices, but it was still a lot more than any other game.
i will be honest, im really nervous that this game wont be continued because thats a sad trope with IF games, but i genuinely hope it does. im looking forward to buying the game when it comes out, and supporting the developer anywhere i can in hopes of the game continuing, because this is honestly everything ive ever wanted in an IF game! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK DEVS!!! ╰(*°▽°*)╯
Hi vlightowelle!!! I can't tell you how much this means to me.
I am genderfluid myself, and I deeply fear that picking a gender presentation for the deities means having to hypergender them one way or another. For that reason, I focused on still giving them some sense of androgyny, despite the differences between the versions. One disappointment I have in myself is tying gender presentation to their pronouns, however, which I want to rectify soon. I don't believe this currently reflects in their physical description except Ciocana, but perhaps I will make this more explicit by allowing the player to pick their pronouns and their presentation explicitly and separately! I am bisexual as well, and I personally love women who are non-conforming.
I am also blown away by your compliments with the writing!! It is indeed inspired more by some classical stories -- and while I am nowhere near their poetry and skill, it is what I admire and strive to achieve. More modern, casual writing is difficult for me.
But most of all, I am emotional about your comments on neurodivergency. My beta tester is my partner, and they have autism. They worked closely with me on this game, and I really worked hard to ensure that the wording of the choices was understandable, and that the offering of choices accommodated a wide range of personalities.
Please let me know your suggestions for hair and eye colors, as well as dialogue/action options! The first character creation scene is more down-to-earth as it is more your fathers looking at your appearance, but there is a second chance to change your looks with more fantastical colors!
And don't worry, this game will be free!! Your verbal support and continued patience will be the only thing I need to keep me going! 🤍
Again, thank you so much, vlightowlle. You don't know how much your words impact me deeply. ❤️❤️
The writing is nice and character are well written but i can't judge the story yet, it didn't progress much. No idea either how the chosen skill will played out but i hope it will be truly impactful. Still the codex is lacking, the romantic interest aren't there and there is no physical/personality description of each character in the codex.
I apologize for the lack of progression. The first chapter is meant to be a setup and introduction to the characters, setting, and potential conflict. Hopefully it will feel better in the second chapter!
I definitely agree with the codex, however; that is admittedly a rushed aspect of the game so far as it already took me months to design and code it, and thus I prioritized releasing the story to demonstrate the progress I made to those who were following me so patiently. The codex page became a very low priority item. I hope to rectify this in the next update, because I know I can get confused or forgetful myself!
At first I didn't really knew if to play this or not, because I've never played this kind of games (or story?? Idk-), but THE ART.
But now that I have played it, I can say thaaat...
I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH-
It has very different options to customize your character's personality, you can choose your appearance, the other characters gender... It's just perfection; I really love the writing too, even though my main language isn't english (so there will be misspelling 😭), as a person that's learning like three languages at once, without including my spanish, chinese and my bad english, it isn't a super duper big trouble for me HWKSSLHSKED-
Talking about the game, I want us to be all happy friends with a wholesome friendship or something like thattt 😿😿 I love all the charactersssss they each have that unique personality, Idk, but I know there's something (???)
In conclusion, playing this game was one of the BEST decisions I've made in my life. Looking forward more updatesss
Hi memori, thank you for the really sweet reply!! 💓 I'm really glad you took the time to play it even though it's not something you usually try!
It's also very admirable you want to learn so many languages - it's something I want to try doing as well! I always wondered how my writing read to non-natives, as English is not my native language, either. I hope it's readable!
I'm also super happy you liked the characters!! 💕💕
All in all, thank you for appreciating my work, and I hope you continue to want to look forward to updates! Thank you again, Memori!!
At first, I was hesitant to play this because it wasn't something I had played before, but the art drew me in!
And when I started playing, I was surprised by the writing and how many options the game offered. I'm excited to see how the story will develop and how our relationships will deepen!
My favourite right now is our dear deity of the sun, can't wait to spend more time with them <3
Hi Phoebus.Sun, sorry I didnt see this comment ealier! I'm glad you like the amount of options so far -- they truly gave me grief, but it is immensely satisfying to offer them! So happy you like Salvatore as well, they remind me of your name <3 Thanks for leaving me your thoughts again, Phoebus!! 🤍
Everyone kept offering me food and I love them for it, omg. And Luciel did mainly catch my attention when I was browsing the page for the first time, but then Salvatore?! Anyway Luciel, beloved, let me open your heart so we could sit right next to each other!
Edit: Okay, been replaying a bit since I can't get enough and MC happily (also giddily) enjoying Ciocana's surprise antics and not thinking ill of them was actually cute. Makes me excited to see more of Ciocana (and Alessi too, the intrigue!)
Looking forward to any progress as it's such a treat, absolutely loved it and it was really fascinating (that includes MC's lore, you could really feel it + wholesome adorable Dads despite everything) so thank you for your hard work, Mistyrious!
Ahh sarkazwho!! Thank you so much for the lovely words, I am so happy that you liked the characters! I will of course continue working on it so I can hopefully make you happy! Thank you again! ❤️
Nauuuur it's all good, you know! I'm already really grateful and happy that you created such a wonderful world (and characters!) Read through all the RO asks, and it's been quite rent free fr so Luciel better lock Lucidio's entrance since I'm ready to hunt them down to give adoration😤 Still, please take your time and stay bongga as always while at it✨
I am genuinely so invested in this game. It's so good and leaves you curious for more by the end of the chapter. Please, for the love of God, make more of it.
LOVING this story. It's unbelievably satisfying to have so many choices to dictate the tone of the player character. I like adapting one of my more harsh/cold OCs into games like this and rarely do they have so many options to accommodate her personality!!
Really beautiful writing, fascinating worldbuilding, and overall game. Very intriguing plot. Can't wait for chapter 2!!
Hi Addered! I am so glad that you feel that you have many options for that kind of character! I feel that such a character has amazing potential for the kind of story I want to tell; exploring the different personalities of MC sprung from how they responded to their circumstances growing up has been immensely satisfying. I hope to continue to accommodate for them!
Hi Aiedaeil! My game personally will never be put up for a price, so please be assured. However, the vast majority of other authors with the same medium will and have monetized their stories upon completion, to success. Thank you so much for your interest again! ♥️
I was looking for good stories to read on itch.io, and I finally found one!
This story not only had amazing imagery, but finally I found a story with more diverse choices! No more 'I'm sad' 'I'm mad' 'I don't answer' nonsense, this story even has 'I'm mad but i'ma joke about it' and it's amazing!
This story is a work of art, and I can't wait too see more!
I do have a quick comment that the 'X' button when you look at something is like right at the end of the screen, I wish there was some padding around it.
I also wish when the setting is picked to choose genders as I go, I wish the default selected was the intended gender, instead of always being 'they,' I feel this would allow us to keep it faithful to the intent but allow us to change some things around as we please.
Also sometimes the OpenDyslexic font doesn't work properly, and I have to reload the page to fix it.
Hi Goose, thanks so much for the feedback!! I'm glad you liked the diversity in the choices <3 I wasn't sure if it was going overboard to have such choices; I wish there was a way to accommodate a wide range of responses without filling the screen with links! Alas, it'd feel too gamey if the choices were in a dropdown box of all things. :)
I am sorry about the X button! A lot of styling for the game was done when I was still quite amateurish with Twine, so I will look out for that <3
Secondly, I had initially written so that the canon language did not actually have any pronouns besides "they/them"... until I realized that would then defeat the purpose of selecting your pronouns! As cool as it would have been, it came with it a slew of issues. I would say "they/them" is the closest to intent. :) Before adding the gender variables, I refer to all of them simply by they/them in writing!
Lastly, sorry for the font issue! I think I have a clue why that is, which is related to why font sizes initially didn't work great at first either :S so I will also investigate that further! Thank you so much for letting me know <3
Once again, thanks again for considering everything and taking the time to let me know your thoughts. I promise it is immensely helpful, and I strive to incorporate them ♥️♥️
Hey! I really enjoyed this story, and can't wait to see where you take this!
I get the pronouns thing, that makes sense! Choosing pronouns in writing is challenging to say the least, and I am just glad to see representation with xe/xem and ey/em pronouns, as well as fully customizable pronouns sheet! It really shows that you care and support your fans, and it allows for more diversity between stories!
I'm not [diagnosed] dyslexic, so I can't know for sure, but I do know reading is difficult, but the font issue wasn't a huge inconvenience, because of how easy it was to fix ( I just pressed refresh XD ).
I really loved the end of the chapter, that twist was incredible, and really shows a layer of depth to the story that many writers don't incorporate until later in the story, and shows you care about the context and emotion behind the scenes!
Overall, this story was beautifully (took me 4 tries before I spelled that right) crafted and incredibly immersive, and I loved every moment of it! Keep up the amazing work!
On the note of pronouns/language since you bring up the canon language perhaps only having 'they', I spent a while working on a more gender inclusive language a while back and came up with a neat idea. Read if you wanna (its long, sorry).
The basic idea takes the concept of keigo - literally translated to respectful language, it's the Japanese grammatical structure for adding respect/formality. The language would have several different levels of formality, for the purposes of pronouns we only really need 2 however so I'll only go into the 2 we need.
First, the "standard" formality. This is the formality you would use with strangers, coworkers, bosses, etc. In a more fleshed out language there might be more formalities above this, but they all would treat pronouns essentially the same as the standard. All pronouns in the standard formality are agender. The closest English translation would probably be they/them although that doesn't convey the true absence of gender that standard formality has. It is simply nongendered.
Second, we have the "familiar" formality. This is the formality you would use for close friends, family, etc. In this formality you do have a number of explicitly gendered pronouns, ranging from the standard masculine/feminine, to various neutral/nongendered pronouns, to even perhaps a number of different "gradient" pronouns for different mixes of gender identity. And finally of course someone can always choose to retain the truly genderless pronouns of standard formality should they prefer a more truly "agender" option.
The idea is that when speaking to strangers - and in situations where you need to be respectful and formal - gender is entirely absent. Thus there is not really a risk of misgendering a stranger without learning their preferred pronouns. Then when two people become close enough, they will switch to their familiar pronouns and thus affirm each other through their language as a sign of their closeness.
Since exchanging familiar pronouns is baked into the structure of the language, it becomes a natural part of introducing oneself. An English approximate would be like introducing yourself as "X, familiarly Y - xe/xer" or even simplified to "X, Y - xe" where X is one's family name/formal name/title and Y is one's personal name. For my MC it would be like introducing her as "The Eye, Lyria - she". It also implies some rude, culturally significant ways to introduce oneself like only introducing their formal title without their familiar pronouns and name thus implying that they do not intend to let you get close to them.
This makes a language that makes no default assumptions about a stranger's gender, but still retains gender expression and affirmation through language. Furthermore I think it canonizes gender affirmation as something more intimate and friendly, a sign of respect and friendship.
Sorry if that was a bit long and rambly but I am a language nerd, couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about pronouns and gender inclusivity in fictional languages. Hope it was an interesting read at least.
That was a FASCINATING read, I am so grateful!! I wanted to hearken back to my own native tongue because all its pronouns are entirely neutral, only that we add an extra word in our sentences to denote politeness or formality.
Knowing this, I think I can make it canon! ❤️ My one sadness is that some stories or IFs automatically already know the neopronouns of the MC without asking. I think it's great that they already include them, and there is no harm in that at all! But I think it would make it more real this way.
So I can picture the MC and a new character introducing themselves and using gender neutral pronouns until they've become familiar or simply ask the other to refer to them properly if they dislike being formal or being referred to by anything else. Great!
Thank you so much -- this is a great compromise to allowing flexibility in gender expression for the protagonist, and yet also incorporating the neutrality in the language that I intended! You have singlehandedly saved the language. Thank you, Hexling! ❤️
I loved it. Absolutely loved it. One of the small portion of games I actually really read!! Didn't regret a single moment of the game from download to impressed while closing it to check the comments at the end. Can't wait for Ch.2!! Need more like dis
Thank you so much ratlover!!! 🥺🥺♥️♥️ I also have a hard time really reading, so it is such a high honor to know you gave your attention to it. Thank you so much for your kind words :)
Hi PlayCharacter!! I keep forgetting to write explicitly that it's a demo and misleading other people, since I thought marking it as in development was enough -- I am a fool (I just now edited the game page)! Thank you so much for checking it out anyway, and I hope to bring you the next chapter so soon! Thank you so so much for dropping a comment as well! 💓
Just finished and I love it so much! I forgot this was a demo and got so immersed that I was shooked when I reached the end 🗣️ Also, I want to say more but I fear it will only end up in incomprehensible keyboard smash gushing so 🕴️
Thank you and I'll be looking forward for the next chapter! Oh, and happy new year!
Hi cocorunchz, thanks so much for dropping a comment!! 🥺🥺💓💓 I am so happy that it ended up being immersive, and I completely welcome the keyboard smashing!! And happy happy New Year to you too 💕 thank you so much again!
I played through this last night and I really enjoyed it! The setting has a fantastic atmosphere that's beautiful and slightly eerie, and I'm intrigued by the characters! I'm excited about this, thank you for making it!
Oh no! I will have to investigate that ASAP -- it used to lead to an online demo for the macro, but it seems I can't find it online anymore. Thanks for calling it to my attention!!
I really enjoyed the Demo + Chp 1. Very intriguing. Clever integration of character creation & choosing the identity of some of the characters. I assume we're waiting for chp 2, and not that I just don't know where to find it?
Haha, yes, Chapter 2 is not out yet! I forgot some people who come across the game don't come from Tumblr, so they may be unaware of how far the demo goes! Either way, thank you so much!! I always prefer the customization of the character to be integrated into the story, rather than thrown at you from the beginning! ❤️❤️
the dialogue and description is so good, it has me speechless? ??? i love the premise and the navigation between the story and the different branches and the layouts are gorgeous?? i'm so looking forward to more! it's been a while since i've been able to immerse myself into a character.
This game is absolutely FIRE!!! Words are not enough to describe the just how much I adore this already!! Will definitely be following along and cannot wait for what else u have in store, its already so promising!!!
AAAA your enthusiasm is so infectious, thank you so so much for taking the time just to let me know your excitement! It makes me excited just to write it knowing someone like you will be following it!! Thank you so much again ImSooprCereal, you're the sweetest! 💕💕
This entire story is absolutely beautiful. I love all of the characters, the writing style is fantastic, and the MC customization is actually so freeing. Thank you for making this, I enjoyed every single word of it!
!!!! Thank you so much picklenugget1, that is so gratifying and awesome to hear. Ironically, those are all the things I feared about the story, so I'm so stoked to hear you liek them!! ;A; Again, thank you so much for leaving a comment, that means the world to me!!
Hina, I'm so glad you think so!! <3 I love stat-heavy games, but I think I always get bogged down trying to maximize them. I even go so far as to try to "maximize" my relationship points with characters that I completely throw roleplaying out the window! I hope you won't have to feel this way in the future. Thanks so much again for taking the time to comment something lovely :)
WHOAGH WHAT THIS IS SO COOL ACTUALLY I LOVE IT SHAKES AND FALLS OVER??? WHAT!! I ADORE THE CHARACTERS AND THE WORLDBUILDING SO FAR THE CONCEPT MAKES ME FEEL SO /POS!
KAKDKS your enthusiasm is AAA 😭💕 thank you so much Kk_sys, I'm so glad the characters and the story inspired positive feelings, as it does in me! I've chosen some of my favorite aesthetics to incorporate into the game!
Again, thank you thank you for your excitement!! 🫂💕💕
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at first i was hesitant to play this because i dont like playing demos and knowing ill end up on a cliffhanger for what might be a year for each new chapter, but i actually really liked this and didnt mind it. this might be the best written interactive story ive ever read, AND ITS ONLY BEEN ONE CHAPTER
NOT REALLY SPOILERS, JUST PUTTING IT UNDER A CUT SO I DONT SPAM BC THIS IS GONNA BE A VERY LONG LOVEMAIL/REVIEW FOR THE GAME:
the customization was AMAZING, though i do wish there were some more hair color options and perhaps scars (if there was scars and i forgot, im sorry LOL i have a short memory), but even if that doesn't change, it's fine without it.
the characters are also amazing, and i love the diverse pronoun choice for them, even neopronouns; usually games just stick with he/she, and sometimes they/them. this might be the first one i saw with more pronoun options, which was very pleasant. i also enjoy how gods have no gender and it's only presentation, as a femme sapphic who really likes masc/butch women but often has to deal with female characters in games being hyper fem due to the assumption of the people going after them being cishet men. usually i just date male characters and pretend theyre a beautiful butch in my mind to deal with this, but with this game i feel like i dont have to do that. even with characters who are feminine, it feels more natural somehow? all i can describe it as, is that i feel the care that went into this game and making the characters actually realistic.
the gameplay itself is also amazing; the choices, being able to lie and be a little mischievous at times, the skillsets (i dont know what to call them,,), the WRITING IS SO IMMERSIVE ALSO LIKE HELLO?? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. THE WHOLE THING ABOUT THE UNIVERSE WAS AMAZING, AND TO BE HONEST, i chose "i dont feel loved by the universe" AND THE DESCRIPTION OF THAT FEELING WHEN I CHOSE THAT?? IT MADE ME TEAR UP IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE. it reminds me of classic literature and those amazing poems you'd see on pintrest, or even the mincraft end-game dialouge thigny!!!
i genuinely dont think i have ANY critique from this game. the only thing i do want is more options because i love to play as my ocs in IF games, but this one already has so many options that i could make do without my array of fancy hair and eye colors. i also usually struggle to play games while being neurodivergent due to most choices being,, way too out there, or way too rude, but this game had a very nice middle ground where i felt like i could actually act as i would without it being weird for me, which honestly made me kind of emotional. being able to play as an autistic mc, with my symptoms, who i feel can unmask, is very meaningful for me. of course it isnt exact, and there were still times i had to make ooc (for me at least) choices, but it was still a lot more than any other game.
i will be honest, im really nervous that this game wont be continued because thats a sad trope with IF games, but i genuinely hope it does. im looking forward to buying the game when it comes out, and supporting the developer anywhere i can in hopes of the game continuing, because this is honestly everything ive ever wanted in an IF game! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK DEVS!!! ╰(*°▽°*)╯
Hi vlightowelle!!! I can't tell you how much this means to me.
I am genderfluid myself, and I deeply fear that picking a gender presentation for the deities means having to hypergender them one way or another. For that reason, I focused on still giving them some sense of androgyny, despite the differences between the versions. One disappointment I have in myself is tying gender presentation to their pronouns, however, which I want to rectify soon. I don't believe this currently reflects in their physical description except Ciocana, but perhaps I will make this more explicit by allowing the player to pick their pronouns and their presentation explicitly and separately! I am bisexual as well, and I personally love women who are non-conforming.
I am also blown away by your compliments with the writing!! It is indeed inspired more by some classical stories -- and while I am nowhere near their poetry and skill, it is what I admire and strive to achieve. More modern, casual writing is difficult for me.
But most of all, I am emotional about your comments on neurodivergency. My beta tester is my partner, and they have autism. They worked closely with me on this game, and I really worked hard to ensure that the wording of the choices was understandable, and that the offering of choices accommodated a wide range of personalities.
Please let me know your suggestions for hair and eye colors, as well as dialogue/action options! The first character creation scene is more down-to-earth as it is more your fathers looking at your appearance, but there is a second chance to change your looks with more fantastical colors!
And don't worry, this game will be free!! Your verbal support and continued patience will be the only thing I need to keep me going! 🤍
Again, thank you so much, vlightowlle. You don't know how much your words impact me deeply. ❤️❤️
Game with potential.
The writing is nice and character are well written but i can't judge the story yet, it didn't progress much. No idea either how the chosen skill will played out but i hope it will be truly impactful. Still the codex is lacking, the romantic interest aren't there and there is no physical/personality description of each character in the codex.
Still hope the game will not die, good luck
Hello, thanks for the sincere comment, Arthas16!
I apologize for the lack of progression. The first chapter is meant to be a setup and introduction to the characters, setting, and potential conflict. Hopefully it will feel better in the second chapter!
I definitely agree with the codex, however; that is admittedly a rushed aspect of the game so far as it already took me months to design and code it, and thus I prioritized releasing the story to demonstrate the progress I made to those who were following me so patiently. The codex page became a very low priority item. I hope to rectify this in the next update, because I know I can get confused or forgetful myself!
Thanks for the reply again! ❤️
At first I didn't really knew if to play this or not, because I've never played this kind of games (or story?? Idk-), but THE ART.
But now that I have played it, I can say thaaat...
I LITERALLY LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH-
It has very different options to customize your character's personality, you can choose your appearance, the other characters gender... It's just perfection; I really love the writing too, even though my main language isn't english (so there will be misspelling 😭), as a person that's learning like three languages at once, without including my spanish, chinese and my bad english, it isn't a super duper big trouble for me HWKSSLHSKED-
Talking about the game, I want us to be all happy friends with a wholesome friendship or something like thattt 😿😿 I love all the charactersssss they each have that unique personality, Idk, but I know there's something (???)
In conclusion, playing this game was one of the BEST decisions I've made in my life. Looking forward more updatesss
And I didn't expect this to be THAT long, sorry 😭
Hi memori, thank you for the really sweet reply!! 💓 I'm really glad you took the time to play it even though it's not something you usually try!
It's also very admirable you want to learn so many languages - it's something I want to try doing as well! I always wondered how my writing read to non-natives, as English is not my native language, either. I hope it's readable!
I'm also super happy you liked the characters!! 💕💕
All in all, thank you for appreciating my work, and I hope you continue to want to look forward to updates! Thank you again, Memori!!
At first, I was hesitant to play this because it wasn't something I had played before, but the art drew me in!
And when I started playing, I was surprised by the writing and how many options the game offered. I'm excited to see how the story will develop and how our relationships will deepen!
My favourite right now is our dear deity of the sun, can't wait to spend more time with them <3
Hi Phoebus.Sun, sorry I didnt see this comment ealier! I'm glad you like the amount of options so far -- they truly gave me grief, but it is immensely satisfying to offer them! So happy you like Salvatore as well, they remind me of your name <3 Thanks for leaving me your thoughts again, Phoebus!! 🤍
Everyone kept offering me food and I love them for it, omg. And Luciel did mainly catch my attention when I was browsing the page for the first time, but then Salvatore?! Anyway Luciel, beloved, let me open your heart so we could sit right next to each other!
Edit: Okay, been replaying a bit since I can't get enough and MC happily (also giddily) enjoying Ciocana's surprise antics and not thinking ill of them was actually cute. Makes me excited to see more of Ciocana (and Alessi too, the intrigue!)
Looking forward to any progress as it's such a treat, absolutely loved it and it was really fascinating (that includes MC's lore, you could really feel it + wholesome adorable Dads despite everything) so thank you for your hard work, Mistyrious!
Ahh sarkazwho!! Thank you so much for the lovely words, I am so happy that you liked the characters! I will of course continue working on it so I can hopefully make you happy! Thank you again! ❤️
Nauuuur it's all good, you know! I'm already really grateful and happy that you created such a wonderful world (and characters!) Read through all the RO asks, and it's been quite rent free fr so Luciel better lock Lucidio's entrance since I'm ready to hunt them down to give adoration😤 Still, please take your time and stay bongga as always while at it✨
I am genuinely so invested in this game. It's so good and leaves you curious for more by the end of the chapter. Please, for the love of God, make more of it.
Your comment has been extremely motivating in ways that I cannot explain. Thank you so much, paper albatross!!
I need more pleaseeeeeee
Ahhh I want to write more too! Hopefully I can get it to you soon ❤️ thank you Boing Boingg!
LOVING this story. It's unbelievably satisfying to have so many choices to dictate the tone of the player character. I like adapting one of my more harsh/cold OCs into games like this and rarely do they have so many options to accommodate her personality!!
Really beautiful writing, fascinating worldbuilding, and overall game. Very intriguing plot. Can't wait for chapter 2!!
Hi Addered! I am so glad that you feel that you have many options for that kind of character! I feel that such a character has amazing potential for the kind of story I want to tell; exploring the different personalities of MC sprung from how they responded to their circumstances growing up has been immensely satisfying. I hope to continue to accommodate for them!
Thank you so so much for your lovely words ❤️
Cant wait for chapter 2!
Thank you, London!! ❤️❤️ I hope to bring it to you soon!
I love the story line. Your not gonna put this up for money are you? :(
i really enjoy the game and yes money it's deserved but many wouldn't play maybe like a tip thingy? i dunno it's a good game.
Hi Aiedaeil! My game personally will never be put up for a price, so please be assured. However, the vast majority of other authors with the same medium will and have monetized their stories upon completion, to success. Thank you so much for your interest again! ♥️
No worries i love the game! and the art :)
I was looking for good stories to read on itch.io, and I finally found one!
This story not only had amazing imagery, but finally I found a story with more diverse choices! No more 'I'm sad' 'I'm mad' 'I don't answer' nonsense, this story even has 'I'm mad but i'ma joke about it' and it's amazing!
This story is a work of art, and I can't wait too see more!
I do have a quick comment that the 'X' button when you look at something is like right at the end of the screen, I wish there was some padding around it.
I also wish when the setting is picked to choose genders as I go, I wish the default selected was the intended gender, instead of always being 'they,' I feel this would allow us to keep it faithful to the intent but allow us to change some things around as we please.
Also sometimes the OpenDyslexic font doesn't work properly, and I have to reload the page to fix it.
Hi Goose, thanks so much for the feedback!! I'm glad you liked the diversity in the choices <3 I wasn't sure if it was going overboard to have such choices; I wish there was a way to accommodate a wide range of responses without filling the screen with links! Alas, it'd feel too gamey if the choices were in a dropdown box of all things. :)
I am sorry about the X button! A lot of styling for the game was done when I was still quite amateurish with Twine, so I will look out for that <3
Secondly, I had initially written so that the canon language did not actually have any pronouns besides "they/them"... until I realized that would then defeat the purpose of selecting your pronouns! As cool as it would have been, it came with it a slew of issues. I would say "they/them" is the closest to intent. :) Before adding the gender variables, I refer to all of them simply by they/them in writing!
Lastly, sorry for the font issue! I think I have a clue why that is, which is related to why font sizes initially didn't work great at first either :S so I will also investigate that further! Thank you so much for letting me know <3
Once again, thanks again for considering everything and taking the time to let me know your thoughts. I promise it is immensely helpful, and I strive to incorporate them ♥️♥️
Hey! I really enjoyed this story, and can't wait to see where you take this!
I get the pronouns thing, that makes sense! Choosing pronouns in writing is challenging to say the least, and I am just glad to see representation with xe/xem and ey/em pronouns, as well as fully customizable pronouns sheet! It really shows that you care and support your fans, and it allows for more diversity between stories!
I'm not [diagnosed] dyslexic, so I can't know for sure, but I do know reading is difficult, but the font issue wasn't a huge inconvenience, because of how easy it was to fix ( I just pressed refresh XD ).
I really loved the end of the chapter, that twist was incredible, and really shows a layer of depth to the story that many writers don't incorporate until later in the story, and shows you care about the context and emotion behind the scenes!
Overall, this story was beautifully (took me 4 tries before I spelled that right) crafted and incredibly immersive, and I loved every moment of it! Keep up the amazing work!
On the note of pronouns/language since you bring up the canon language perhaps only having 'they', I spent a while working on a more gender inclusive language a while back and came up with a neat idea. Read if you wanna (its long, sorry).
The basic idea takes the concept of keigo - literally translated to respectful language, it's the Japanese grammatical structure for adding respect/formality. The language would have several different levels of formality, for the purposes of pronouns we only really need 2 however so I'll only go into the 2 we need.
The idea is that when speaking to strangers - and in situations where you need to be respectful and formal - gender is entirely absent. Thus there is not really a risk of misgendering a stranger without learning their preferred pronouns. Then when two people become close enough, they will switch to their familiar pronouns and thus affirm each other through their language as a sign of their closeness.
Since exchanging familiar pronouns is baked into the structure of the language, it becomes a natural part of introducing oneself. An English approximate would be like introducing yourself as "X, familiarly Y - xe/xer" or even simplified to "X, Y - xe" where X is one's family name/formal name/title and Y is one's personal name. For my MC it would be like introducing her as "The Eye, Lyria - she". It also implies some rude, culturally significant ways to introduce oneself like only introducing their formal title without their familiar pronouns and name thus implying that they do not intend to let you get close to them.
This makes a language that makes no default assumptions about a stranger's gender, but still retains gender expression and affirmation through language. Furthermore I think it canonizes gender affirmation as something more intimate and friendly, a sign of respect and friendship.
Sorry if that was a bit long and rambly but I am a language nerd, couldn't pass up the opportunity to talk about pronouns and gender inclusivity in fictional languages. Hope it was an interesting read at least.
Hi Hexling,
That was a FASCINATING read, I am so grateful!! I wanted to hearken back to my own native tongue because all its pronouns are entirely neutral, only that we add an extra word in our sentences to denote politeness or formality.
Knowing this, I think I can make it canon! ❤️ My one sadness is that some stories or IFs automatically already know the neopronouns of the MC without asking. I think it's great that they already include them, and there is no harm in that at all! But I think it would make it more real this way.
So I can picture the MC and a new character introducing themselves and using gender neutral pronouns until they've become familiar or simply ask the other to refer to them properly if they dislike being formal or being referred to by anything else. Great!
Thank you so much -- this is a great compromise to allowing flexibility in gender expression for the protagonist, and yet also incorporating the neutrality in the language that I intended! You have singlehandedly saved the language. Thank you, Hexling! ❤️
Glad you liked it and it clicked some things into place for you!
I loved it. Absolutely loved it. One of the small portion of games I actually really read!! Didn't regret a single moment of the game from download to impressed while closing it to check the comments at the end. Can't wait for Ch.2!! Need more like dis
Thank you so much ratlover!!! 🥺🥺♥️♥️ I also have a hard time really reading, so it is such a high honor to know you gave your attention to it. Thank you so much for your kind words :)
This game is amazing.
I was so into the game, and realised that it was JUST a demo. Thank you for this game, I'll be waiting for the next chapter with glee and gyrate.
Hi PlayCharacter!! I keep forgetting to write explicitly that it's a demo and misleading other people, since I thought marking it as in development was enough -- I am a fool (I just now edited the game page)! Thank you so much for checking it out anyway, and I hope to bring you the next chapter so soon! Thank you so so much for dropping a comment as well! 💓
Just finished and I love it so much! I forgot this was a demo and got so immersed that I was shooked when I reached the end 🗣️ Also, I want to say more but I fear it will only end up in incomprehensible keyboard smash gushing so 🕴️
Thank you and I'll be looking forward for the next chapter! Oh, and happy new year!
Hi cocorunchz, thanks so much for dropping a comment!! 🥺🥺💓💓 I am so happy that it ended up being immersive, and I completely welcome the keyboard smashing!! And happy happy New Year to you too 💕 thank you so much again!
I played through this last night and I really enjoyed it! The setting has a fantastic atmosphere that's beautiful and slightly eerie, and I'm intrigued by the characters! I'm excited about this, thank you for making it!
Thank you, Leon!! I am so grateful to you for taking the time to read my writing as well 💕💕 it means more to me than you can know!
I know there's only one chapter, but this one is my favorite Interactive! Really looking forward to where it goes! (Ciocana has my heart already)
!!! That's extremely high praise Puufi, thank you so much!! I hope not to disappoint you 🥺💖
i'll be waiting for chap. 2! this was a very well made game <3
Hi astra!! Thank you so much for your sweet comment <3!!!
Hey. The HiEv link in your credits seems to be hacked and leads to a security alert.
Oh no! I will have to investigate that ASAP -- it used to lead to an online demo for the macro, but it seems I can't find it online anymore. Thanks for calling it to my attention!!
I really enjoyed the Demo + Chp 1. Very intriguing. Clever integration of character creation & choosing the identity of some of the characters. I assume we're waiting for chp 2, and not that I just don't know where to find it?
Keep up the good work!
Haha, yes, Chapter 2 is not out yet! I forgot some people who come across the game don't come from Tumblr, so they may be unaware of how far the demo goes! Either way, thank you so much!! I always prefer the customization of the character to be integrated into the story, rather than thrown at you from the beginning! ❤️❤️
Thanks again, Kiljek! 💕
I just want to let you know that we're looking forward to the chapter 2 <3
🥹🥹 thank you ziye ❤️❤️❤️
the dialogue and description is so good, it has me speechless? ??? i love the premise and the navigation between the story and the different branches and the layouts are gorgeous?? i'm so looking forward to more! it's been a while since i've been able to immerse myself into a character.
AAAA thank you so much playerlou!! Your words mean more to me than I can say 🥹 I'm glad you were able to be so immersed!
is it wrong to say that i'm a sucker for ciocana? 😩
Not at all, I am too!
Absolutely not! 💕
Love it so much I cry a alot for the mc D:
🥺🥺 I'm sorry to make you feel this way for the MC!! Hopefully they will earn everyone's respect soon 💕
This game is absolutely FIRE!!! Words are not enough to describe the just how much I adore this already!! Will definitely be following along and cannot wait for what else u have in store, its already so promising!!!
AAAA your enthusiasm is so infectious, thank you so so much for taking the time just to let me know your excitement! It makes me excited just to write it knowing someone like you will be following it!! Thank you so much again ImSooprCereal, you're the sweetest! 💕💕
salvatore i will actually die for you
Salvatore would for you 💕
This entire story is absolutely beautiful. I love all of the characters, the writing style is fantastic, and the MC customization is actually so freeing. Thank you for making this, I enjoyed every single word of it!
!!!! Thank you so much picklenugget1, that is so gratifying and awesome to hear. Ironically, those are all the things I feared about the story, so I'm so stoked to hear you liek them!! ;A; Again, thank you so much for leaving a comment, that means the world to me!!
Wow! I was impressed!! I liked that there were no stats for a change. It really gave me more freedom in choosing from the choices.
Hina, I'm so glad you think so!! <3 I love stat-heavy games, but I think I always get bogged down trying to maximize them. I even go so far as to try to "maximize" my relationship points with characters that I completely throw roleplaying out the window! I hope you won't have to feel this way in the future. Thanks so much again for taking the time to comment something lovely :)
Yes! Yes! I get you a lot! I like stat-heavy games too, but sometimes, I want to mix it up with games like this.
WHOAGH WHAT THIS IS SO COOL ACTUALLY I LOVE IT SHAKES AND FALLS OVER??? WHAT!! I ADORE THE CHARACTERS AND THE WORLDBUILDING SO FAR THE CONCEPT MAKES ME FEEL SO /POS!
KAKDKS your enthusiasm is AAA 😭💕 thank you so much Kk_sys, I'm so glad the characters and the story inspired positive feelings, as it does in me! I've chosen some of my favorite aesthetics to incorporate into the game!
Again, thank you thank you for your excitement!! 🫂💕💕
HOW COULD I NOT BE EXCITED WITH THIS KINDA STUFF ITS SO PRETTY AND FUN GHJDGJDHW
THANK YOU FOR THE GAME!!!
RAGH