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Carrot’s Big Ol’ End-of-the-Year Wrap-Up Post That’s Also an Arc 5 Progress Report That’s Also a Mildly Veiled Mental Breakdown

Our Wonderland
A downloadable game for Windows, macOS, and Linux

UMMMMMMMMM,,,

So I haven't written a devlog in quite some time, and for that, I aPoLoGiZe. I think because writing these things sometimes takes a lot out of me energy-wise, I just keep putting them off and putting them off until, well, they never get written. HOWEVER. That doesn't mean I am not hard at work behind the scenes chug-chug-chuggin' away.

Actual video footage of Carrot chug-chug-chuggin' away.

Since the fabled end to 2022 is right around the corner, however, I thought it perhaps in my best interest to at least slap something up here as a sort of recap + progress update + verbalized mental breakdown, particularly for those who don't follow any of my socials to know just what in the flying heck is happening with this (train)wreck.

LET'S BEGIN.

2022, A Not-So Terrible, Not-So Horrible, Maybe Even Mildly Pleasant, Actually It Wasn't Too Bad Year

O

M

G

2022.

A whole heck of a lot happened this year. It was sad, fun, tragic, happy, glorious, sticky, horrible, neat, and a little gassy. I launched three new arcs for Our Wonderland, participated in my first jam, made lots of new friends, had 49.198 breakdowns, and spiraled into hopelessly debilitating anxiety more often than I care to admit. It's honestly a bit hard for me to comprehend just how much has happened this year tbh. I mentioned this on a post for the OW 1-year anniversary, but—like—I still can't really believe it's been an entire year now since I first launched the game. And the fact that I'm actually still actively working on it is quite Huge™ for me given how difficult it usually is for me to stick with large projects (let's just say my eyes are often bigger than my stomach,,,,,,,,,, erm,, if that analogy even works here,, BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN).

HAS IT REALLY BEEN A WHOLE YEAR OMG,,,

But yes, after launching Arc 1 of OW in December of last year, I really had no idea what to expect. I had quite high hopes at the time. Big Dreams. Apple Pie in the Sky sorta stuff. Though they were mostly bish-bash-boshed into neat and tidy tenderized strips of oblivion my first few months. I've mentioned this in a few places before, but my initial launches were Grade-A disasters. And I spent a good chunk of time completely demotivated and depressed, wanting to quit, getting told by people in my life that my dev stuff was stupid and pointless, you know, the yooj. Had I not already had a good chunk of Arc 2 (and even a bit of Arc 3) done when I launched Arc 1, I'm not sure I would have had the heart to keep going tbh. I AM A SOFT BEAN, OK. I AM NOT STRONG. I FREELY ADMIT THIS. B-but I do love my characters and my story so so much. And becoming hopelessly obsessed with them latching on to them really helped me wriggle and squirm my way through my many Screaming Into the Void moments (this was also around the time my posts and tweets started to go really oFf tHe rAiLs).

Somehow, somewhere around the time of the Arc 3 launch, however, things started to look a bit more up. Like. Omg,,, maybe,,, maybe there are some people who do like the game,,, a-and the chars,,, MAYBE,,, MAYBE I CAN MAKE FRIENDS,,, MAYBE,,, MAYBE I'M NOT COM-PLETE-LY HOPELESS. (Did the word "maybe" lose all meaning while you were reading that? Because it sure did for me.) Since then, though there have still obviously been quite a few ~ uPs and dOwNs ~, I've gained a lot more confidence and generally felt more excited and motivated when working on the game, talking with people, sharing stuff, and generally just being Sillay™. So I'd just like to take a moment to thank everyone that's followed along with and supported me on this perilous journey full of peril (featuring extra peril).

OK ENOUGH WITH THE SAP LET'S LOOK AT SOME YEAR-END HIGHLIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSSS

Things that happened this year that I think are Pretty Cool™:

  • Finished and launched Arcs 2, 3, and 4 of Our Wonderland
  • Participated in my first game jam with Our Fantastic Wonderland as a litol side game
  • WON FIRST PLACE IN THE AFOREMENTIONED GAME JAM????/??//??
  • Reached 2000 total downloads for The Game right after the 1-year anniversary
  • Tried out TikTok???
  • Got burnt out using TikTok...
  • Joined a fan server for The Game!
  • Freaked out about the Twitter Fiasco and made a Tumblr
  • Made an OST vid for The Game
  • Drew more art in a single year than I think I ever have in my entire life!
  • Got much better at scripting via brute force and tears
  • Learned that I really love sCeNe DiReCtIoN
  • Improved my art style a lot I think to the point that now I desperately want to redraw a bunch of early game assets ladkfjakl
  • Got interviewed twice by VN Game Den
  • Played a lot of cool VNs
  • Took part in my first big game bundle
  • MADE SO MANY AMAZING NEW FRIENDS 

Look at that long-ass list. BUT WAIT, CARROT. WHAT ABOUT NEXT YEAR. WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT YEAR.

Who can say, really.

,,,

OF COURSE HOPEFULLY I WILL FINISH ARC 5 AND LAUNCH IT AND IT WILL BE GREAT AND COOL AND PUPPIES WILL RAIN FROM THE SKY.

Which brings us to our next Topic of Interest...

Arc 5 Progress Report

(because let's be honest that's the only thing anyone really cares about really)

What's happening with Arc 5? Omg, I'm so glad you asked. Arc 5 is,,, well, it's making progress. Perhaps not quite as fast as previous arcs and also it will end up being longer than any of the previous arcs BUT I'M DOING MY BEST OK.

Everyone staring at me waiting for Arc 5 news or something.

I WILL FREELY ADMIT I WAS IN A BIT OF A MOTIVATION VALLEY OF DEATH FOR A WHILE. After launching OFW, I hit one of my Patent-Pending Launch Lows™, which was probably exacerbated a bit due to delaying the Patent-Pending Launch Low™ after the Arc 4 launch a month prior that I brute-forced my way through by burying my head in game jam work. So I spent a lot of October not doing a whole lot of actual production work and instead playing a ton of jam games—which was admittedly a ton of fun and I'm glad I did! But I think because of this extended slow period, it made it Difficult to really get back into my usual production groove (and honestly I still haven't quite been able to find it again even now). HAVING SAID THAT. Despite being mildly slower than the rapid-fire pace that was Me, The Production Fiend, things are still coming along! Here be the current stats:

  • Around 20k words written! Which is pretty good to be honest. At 20k, each of the previous arcs was at least half-way written, if not more. It's only because Arc 5 is longer that I have not actually hit what I feel is the halfway point. So I am trying to tell myself that actually I have done a lot even if it doesn't feel like as much as for previous arcs laksdjfasld (this is how I keep myself sane)
  • 10 CGs drawn! Arc 5 will,,, have a lot of CGs, I've realized. I JUST FEEL LIKE THERE ARE MANY IMPACTFUL MOMENTS THAT NEED CGS OK.
  • 2 more CGs that have initial base sketches drawn (I've been particularly Unfocused lately, so I've done more bouncing around between assets than I usually do sdlkfjasdlkf).
  • 7 new sprites drawn! OK, a few of them are not quite completely finished, but they are mostly drawn. Arc 5 requiring new versions of sprites for chars for ~ r e a s o n s ~ ig.
  • 1 sprite edit done! And by that I mean I gave him a new outfit. And by him I mean Genzou, because he's finally getting a few new edits this time around.
  • 4.5 scenes scripted! Scenes here referring to how I have them broken up in Scrivener so probably not actually that helpful SORRY LDKJFASDF however I will say that I've scripted up through The Gang returning to Wonderland, so.

In addition to these Tangible Accomplishments (TA), there is plenty of other stuff I've been doing that's Not Quite So Tangible (NQST), including:

  • Music selection! And by selection, I mean spending hours and hours finding music that Sparks Joy (or some other appropriate emotion) within my bones, downloading a whole bunch, adding them all to a giant playlist, and then living with that playlist constantly to see if any of them start naturally lending themselves to scenes in my head (or even inspiring new scenes to go between the scenes in my head). It's all quite a Thing.
  • Thoughting! Because whenever I start a new arc, I usually only have the Main Story Beats figured out, but not everything else that needs to happen in between or even a lot of the details around those story beats. So a lot of thoughting needs to happen. Across days. Weeks. While trying to sleep. While trying to work. Ideas popping up out of nowhere. Developments happening. Characters suddenly doing things I'd never thought of before but DANG WHY IS IT SO PERFECT??? Things like that. A lot of thoughts. I've already had some great new ideas that help flesh out and connect a lot of the beats. (And a certain someone who got more screen-time in a certain side game will also get to play an interesting role huehuehuehue.)
  • Drawing! And by this I mean drawing that doesn't actually go into the game, be that practice sketches or Twitter Art™, as I like to call it, because sometimes gdi I just need to draw fun things, too, yk??? P-p-particularly cute,,, seasonal things,,, because my heart,,, it needs these things,,, it needs to be soothed,,, soothened,,, s-s-soo-,,,

Twitter Art, a.k.a. Carrot's Personal Therapy.

OK Carrot but When is Arc 5 Gonna Come Out

I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

My current vague goal is sometime first half of next year. If I can do it within that timeframe, that would be Good. However, I also concede that I have no idea what kind of curve balls Arc 5 (or life itself) will throw at me. It will definitely be the longest arc, have the most CGs, all that jazz. Plus, we haven't even gotten into the multiple endings? Because?? That's the whole point of all the different choices you've been making??? (Btw there will be 5 possible endings. Tho by "endings" I mean that the main ending to the core story will always be the same, but various parts of it will be a bit different and the epilogue will be different, etc.). So that'll definitely add a bit more time onto the end. I'd also liiiiiiiiike to at least polish up the GUI a bit more. But I'm not exactly Skilled in this area, so even if I do, I don't think it will be anything game-changing.

So yeah.

Sorry I don't have anything more concrete at the moment. Though that's honestly been par for the course for me throughout this whole Journey. I never know exactly when an arc will launch until a few weeks beforehand when I make the announcement post (SOLO DEV LIIIIIIIIFE).

No matter what, though, I'm always pretty transparent about what I'm currently up to and how much I've gotten done and sharing new screenshots and CGs on my socials. AND. You can always ask me any questions! So long as it's not a major spoiler or something I'm very happy to answer. You can even ask me ANON QUESTIONS for all your WILDEST and most SALACIOUS curiosities over on my Tumblr if you should be so inclined. (O-ok, maybe not t-too salacious,,,,,,,) It honestly always makes my day when someone sends in a question about the chars or the game.

omg,,,, thanks me,,, you're cool, too,,, *tear*

mmmMMMMMMMMMMM yeah I think that's about it.

I will now summarize this entire tl;dr devlog in two words:

THANK.

and...

CHUG.

(probably going to read this back later and be like wtf,,,,,,,,,, but who cares)

ANYWAY. This will likely be the last devlog of 2022, so if this is the last you'll be hearing of me this year, have a wonderful New  Year's and hope you are all able to get some nice anxiety-free time off to relax and Not Cry. Also stay healthy! Also also eat lots of cheese! (if you are able to, of course)

Cheese..............

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