I just created an account purely just to say how much I enjoyed this. It was a quick read that I was able to view in the browser on my phone without issue. I got a couple of laughs from the humor, the art was cute, and the character dynamic and relationship was both interesting and endearing while being somewhat morally grey, all without being something that I predicted from early on.
I don’t have much of any experience with visual novels, and I don’t even know what it means for one to be described as “kinetic”. I do, however, have a massive amount of experience in reading light novels, manga, books, doujinshi, reflective essays, personal accounts, psychological and emotional reports on the state of social affairs for wlw and the greater lgbtq community on a global scale-
Anyways, point is, I love yuri, and I very much enjoyed this work. On one hand, I’d love to see more of these characters. On the other, the story certainly does not need more. It’s a perfectly succinct and self-contained work that does a good job of properly covering all of the ground it needs to for a product of such length. It has just the right amount of depth for what it is, and was generally well written.
The pacing did have something of a sudden lurch, and the shift in both time and perspective was slightly jarring, I suspect partially due to the slight change in format, and lack of corresponding art. However, it was nothing severe enough to have any meaningfully negative impact on the reading experience. Also, I only even consciously noticed one or two minor spelling/grammatical issues, which is exponentially better than most self-published free media.
Since this is effectively little more than a stream of consciousness written out on my phone at 3am, I am not going to bother proofreading this comment. None the less, many thanks to those who made this! I enjoyed the time I spent with it.
TL;DR: this was a fun, funny, and interesting story with some cute art, and cute characters. There is the potential for more to be explored without leaving the impression that the work is incomplete or lacking. I was able to view the entire work in the browser on my iPhone without a single issue. The length is short, the quality is decently good, and it’s exceedingly accessible. I’d recommend this to much anyone who enjoys short form yuri content.
thanks for the feedback! I'm the writer, i've written a couple of longer games on my page if you're interested, though unfortunately they're not in-browser games and require a download.
OK, just read your story and, mmm, well, I don't want to be too harsh, but, no. I love the concept, and I love Yuri Visual Novels, (in fact, they are 98% the only ones I read,) but it went through at the speed of a Lamborghini doing 0 to 60mph. The story never really got started, then it was over. I appreciate it was a free game, but, sorry, there are far better ones for me than this. I really did try and enjoy it, but, sorry, no. But, hey, what do I know? Maybe I am missing something, but at 15 minutes, it's just way too short. Thank you anyway.
The story, it's so good, I want to know more about these two. I want to know what happens next, I want to know if Ember breaks up with May after high school. It's so tantalizing, I feel so squiggly inside, it makes my heart flutter for more.
Even though I love this so much, I've read better, but the aspect of this is top-notch, but lacking for my taste. I love stuff like this, but I want to see more heart break, I want to see the characters get emotional hurt.
Really cool story.
I especially enjoyed the writing, the perspective change and how you described the bully’s thought process.
The art is a little simplistic, but it has its charm and looks pretty good :D
I’d love for her to come out in a sequel or something.
Thank you for providing a Linux port!
Insane how long it took me to get to it... But what a lovely little story. The writing is top-notch (as usual for Hag), but I especially liked Ember's side of the story. Made me tear up a little. Good job~
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wow. makes me feel like a total sucker but it hit deep
I just created an account purely just to say how much I enjoyed this. It was a quick read that I was able to view in the browser on my phone without issue. I got a couple of laughs from the humor, the art was cute, and the character dynamic and relationship was both interesting and endearing while being somewhat morally grey, all without being something that I predicted from early on.
I don’t have much of any experience with visual novels, and I don’t even know what it means for one to be described as “kinetic”. I do, however, have a massive amount of experience in reading light novels, manga, books, doujinshi, reflective essays, personal accounts, psychological and emotional reports on the state of social affairs for wlw and the greater lgbtq community on a global scale-
Anyways, point is, I love yuri, and I very much enjoyed this work. On one hand, I’d love to see more of these characters. On the other, the story certainly does not need more. It’s a perfectly succinct and self-contained work that does a good job of properly covering all of the ground it needs to for a product of such length. It has just the right amount of depth for what it is, and was generally well written.
The pacing did have something of a sudden lurch, and the shift in both time and perspective was slightly jarring, I suspect partially due to the slight change in format, and lack of corresponding art. However, it was nothing severe enough to have any meaningfully negative impact on the reading experience. Also, I only even consciously noticed one or two minor spelling/grammatical issues, which is exponentially better than most self-published free media.
Since this is effectively little more than a stream of consciousness written out on my phone at 3am, I am not going to bother proofreading this comment. None the less, many thanks to those who made this! I enjoyed the time I spent with it.
TL;DR: this was a fun, funny, and interesting story with some cute art, and cute characters. There is the potential for more to be explored without leaving the impression that the work is incomplete or lacking. I was able to view the entire work in the browser on my iPhone without a single issue.
The length is short, the quality is decently good, and it’s exceedingly accessible. I’d recommend this to much anyone who enjoys short form yuri content.
thanks for the feedback! I'm the writer, i've written a couple of longer games on my page if you're interested, though unfortunately they're not in-browser games and require a download.
OK, just read your story and, mmm, well, I don't want to be too harsh, but, no. I love the concept, and I love Yuri Visual Novels, (in fact, they are 98% the only ones I read,) but it went through at the speed of a Lamborghini doing 0 to 60mph. The story never really got started, then it was over. I appreciate it was a free game, but, sorry, there are far better ones for me than this. I really did try and enjoy it, but, sorry, no. But, hey, what do I know? Maybe I am missing something, but at 15 minutes, it's just way too short. Thank you anyway.
hey, i'm the writer! I've written a couple of longer things if you're interested: https://punishedhag.itch.io/
sry, the game was built in Renpy and i dont use that anymore T.T
ooh okay
Thank you for breaking down my soul to dust in 30 minutes
Cute little story about lil' lesbians
it gives error
The story, it's so good, I want to know more about these two. I want to know what happens next, I want to know if Ember breaks up with May after high school. It's so tantalizing, I feel so squiggly inside, it makes my heart flutter for more.
Even though I love this so much, I've read better, but the aspect of this is top-notch, but lacking for my taste. I love stuff like this, but I want to see more heart break, I want to see the characters get emotional hurt.
Really cool story. I especially enjoyed the writing, the perspective change and how you described the bully’s thought process. The art is a little simplistic, but it has its charm and looks pretty good :D I’d love for her to come out in a sequel or something. Thank you for providing a Linux port!
Insane how long it took me to get to it... But what a lovely little story. The writing is top-notch (as usual for Hag), but I especially liked Ember's side of the story. Made me tear up a little. Good job~
this game is hilarious and surprisingly deep
It's not working on browser