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You Might Not Finish This Game

You Will Never Be Enough
A browser game made in HTML5

Ah, my little ghostie goo. I've been sitting on this one for a while, wondering about posting the first level as-is. The Bring Out Your Ghosts Jam seemed like a good place to shake off the dust.

This project stalled for a lot of reasons--some personal, some skill-based. The majority of the second level is complete, but I got fixated on a fast-travel mechanic that didn't add anything to the game but a lot of technical challenges. I couldn't decide if I wanted to try to make it work, to justify it in-game somehow or scrap it entirely. Cutting it would take a lot of work, too. I hemmed and hawed and walked away. GB Studio updated and improved. My laptop died and the back up files are on an external drive in a drawer. The game got more and more distant. Or maybe I did.

And, as the title may suggest, I was exploring some Big Feelings with this game. My friend group fractured through lockdown and I was desperate to keep us all together. Clearly, my game developer self had better insights than I was able to rustle up. It was going to be a story of Annie going out into a scary, post-apocalypse world to fetch items she was convinced would fix a one-sided friendship. Slowly, she'd realize gifts weren't going to cut it. She'd try to fix herself so she could be a Better Friend. Eventually, she'd learn she would never be enough because it wasn't about her. And all the things she was trying to do--trying to be--were only hurting herself. That friendship isn't a merit level that can be achieved, leveraged and maintained. If she was the only one making an effort that it might not have been the friendship she thought it was. 

Maybe now that I've learned a few more lessons I can finish the story. Ghosts don't have to be scary.

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