Posted June 03, 2024 by HugeCookie
Hi, it's ya boi with a very long post~
Hi, HugeCookie here,
Throughout the development of the game, I have read amazing and very inspiring words from a lot of you. Do know that I always acknowledge these and always appreciate these kind words from the bottom of my horny heart.
I'm sure all there is a question that's been lingering in your head for quite a while now;
Why are the updates so inconsistent? Is the discord server dead? Is the game cancelled? Or something?
To answer this, I have to go all the way back. Back to my very roots, the very reason why I started making A place to call home.
It all started with Extracurricular Activities.
I grew up from an abusive household, with step-parent's that have done actions that the devil would even call disgusting.
Having nothing to grow up emotionally and having a childhood where I get bullied constantly up to my teenage years, I've become emotionally stunted. There is only me and the desire to escape and live a peaceful life.
There I discovered the furry fandom. Although it's flaws and weirdly kinky nature, it has always been a welcoming community. It was the only thing I had and still do to this day.
Being part of the furry fandom for quite some time now, and I've never really seen anything else other than artworks and fur suits and the like. Some time after, a link for Extracurricular Activities showed up on my feed, 'a visual novel?' I saw. I've never read a single novel nor visual novel before, so I thought to check it out.
It blew my mind. How a novel can be so emotionally captivating, so inspiring and somehow... make you feel like you feel loved. Something that I haven't felt for a very, very long time.
After finishing the unfinished Harold route, I had an epiphany; 'If this novel can inspire me and make me feel like I matter, then maybe I can do the same as well for people in the same situation as me. " And so, it was born. The very first Iteration of APTCH with wonky characters and stock images for backgrounds.
When I published the very first version, I had never felt more happier in my life. My work out there for the world to see and read. I wanted to make a career out of it, and being in a third world country where each dollar can feed me an entire day, it was very appealing.
It became my dream to become a fully-fledged VN creator.
I decided to not enter college, every job in the country literally worked you to the bone only to earn a 100$ a month. If I did go, then I wouldn't have been able to put together a schedule for making APTCH at all.
Months went by, while being scolded at almost every living day by a narcissistic step-father, I was able to push out updates. Though, inconsistent, I was managing through with my small Acer laptop that had intel graphics that was barely able to open a chrome tab without crashing.
I then met Grunt-Steel, the creator of Distant Travels and became friends with him after some time drawing CG's for his VN. God-bless this man for gifting me a full PC set, as I was scraping Patreon money to buy an upgrade for my old laptop. I was then able to make even better art and make better VN assets. The rest of my Patreon money I was able to buy food for my step-parents, but ultimately still are unsatisfied.
Things then came to a point where I had to fight with them, and I was being forced to leave the house. My mental health sank so low that writing was almost impossible. I locked myself inside my room, which is my only safe haven, and slept for hours on end.
It then prompted me to take a course on something that could make me lots of money. To work in a cruise ship as a chef.
To a lot of people here, they believe that working on a ship means winning the lottery ticket to success. And so, I pushed myself to make updates per month and did commissions so I could pay my tuition fees, which was 350$ a month. An already insane amount of money to have here.
A year of hiatus for the VN later, I finished my internship at a hotel and graduated. My step-parent's were finally happy... for a while.
And while it sounds like a happy ending, I literally had the entire waking hour thinking of APTCH. I've worked so hard on the VN for so long, only for it to amount to nothing?
I had literally nothing on my mind but guilt, sadness. My mind went downhill as I was constantly getting yelled at by the chefs at school and at home. It was grueling.
When the graduation came to an end, we were offered a chance to get onboard a cruise ship. To work 15 hours a day, with only 1 day off per week.
At that point I wasn't able to take it anymore. I was completely out of energy and burnt out.
Everything was already there for me at the very beginning. A good enough salary, a VN that I loved making, and a small fandom that I was able to inspire, and yet I was here trying to please the unpleasable. I could only give you all an apology.
Right now, I'm still at the very same room that I made APTCH in, and I'm currently planning on moving out sometime soon to my cousin's place. Due to the same old family reasons.
But I'm pretty happy with what I have today, I have food, water, I pay a part of the house bills... and everyone that has supported me.
A million dollars cannot compare to how much kindness and appreciation I have felt from all of you. The love I have felt from every one of you is all that I have ever wanted in this crazy, cruel world.
Here's to a new start, and a new chapter for APTCH. Whatever situation we'll be in, keep your head up high and be happy, because a smile better suits a hero.
-HugeCookie