The night before AVCon

I am writing this on the Bus heading to set up for Adelaide’s Anime Video game convention. I have a working build to demo, paper decorations for my stand and a hi visibility vest in case I need it. Now all I have to do is to make sure my laptop is tested and tagged. It is the very laptop that Lords of Illic was originally forged on. Once it was everything - where I gamed, drew digital art, wrote stories, played dnd and looked up facts about Sharks (did you know sharks were around when the first life was walking on land?). These days things are very different, but it is a good kind of different. No longer is every second of my waking day filled with the discordant drone of my laptop’s fan. More importantly back then I wouldn't have applied to show my game off to AVcon. Even now I have to push past my doubt and just give it a shot. What if no one likes my game? Other than this self doubt being unhelpful it doesn’t matter. I am making Lords of Illic because I want to. Even so I would like it to be a good game that people can enjoy. So perhaps more intriguing is what people don't like about the game. That gives me a heading to work towards. At the very least it will be a weekend to feel like I am an indie developer (which I am simply by making a game and not being associated with a big publisher). I can’t be wasting my life if I am living my dream.

On the bus back from setting up I realise something. I have been anxious about this for months but actually was there anything to worry about? I get a space at an event to show off my game. It was easy to apply and easy to set up. If there was any difficulty it was being generated by myself and my own standards. Either way, now that I have been and set-up I have collapsed a lot of unknowns. Now I can just focus on having a great time. Well after I finish making the decorations for my stand anyway.

Until the next time.