A few words + Going forward

Every dev has that one game that hits a little bit too close to home—that dredges up those unresolved feelings that probably are best discussed in therapy... Welcome to Burning Red! 

Seriously though, Burning Red is an exploration of something deeply personal to me, and yes, that's BDSM. We put ourselves into a lot of what we create, of course, but this story is the one. Or, at least, one of the ones that speaks to a lot of who I am and to my experiences. 

For a long time, I've always felt that something in my life was missing. Burning Red, somehow, makes me feel a little more whole. 

The truth behind the story is unfortunate. I've spent a lot of time searching for that something or someone to fill the void, and for a while I was searching for that in the wrong people, people I thought had it all figured out. 
They were older, wiser, and had lived and learned more—or so I thought. The truth is, the things some people have learned is how best to weaponize themselves, whether they realize it a lot. 

Not everyone is that way, of course, but it just so happens that those are the ones I seemed to have crossed paths with the most.

The nature of the relationship in BR, and of the ones I'd pursued in real life, require an infinite amount of trust—a level of trust that really is a privilege for anyone who is deemed worthy of having it placed in them.
When I made Alvarez, or when he came to me, I set out to make someone worthy of that trust—someone who could be relied upon and depended upon, who wouldn't fail his charge like I'd been failed. That's all I wanted—somehow it's spiraled into this whole thing, but I'm very grateful for it. 

For me, love without exposing this side of myself is no love at all. 
It's not just about hot sex and doing crazy, kinky things. It's about that trust, that vulnerability—falling and knowing someone will catch you. Revealing all of yourself and knowing someone will accept you exactly as you are. Showing that you're damaged and bruised, and having someone by your side as you both try to fix things.
Alvarez is my love letter to the people that can be trusted, a demonstration of what that part of me was always searching for — a protector, a partner, a friend, a lover. Alvarez to me is safety and security, and I can't wait to tell the rest of this story and see how it all unfolds. 

I've spent a lot of my life feeling unsafe, not being able to trust people with my heart or my body. I've been violated and broken, wounded and mistreated—and I suppose to someone who might not understand, it seems strange to find solace in a place that flirts with the idea of loss of control, and of pain and pushing boundaries.
But it is what it is, at least for me. And this story is a little part of accepting that. It's also nice to explore things in fiction, a space of safety and ultimate control. 

I feel very fortunate to be in a place where I get to share this story.

It's not going to be for everyone, and if all goes to plan, the story is only going to get more intense as we move forward (and hopefully more enjoyable too), but I'll hope you'll still come on the journey with me. 

Speaking of going forward, I'm hoping to bring the game to Kickstarter—which is exciting and terrifying in equal measure. Lots to think about, prepare and plan for!  There should be a few things coming to the demo still, such as an MC sprite and possibly a revamped art style, which hopefully you will enjoy. 

As you can imagine, I'll be back to pester you all with preparations and Alvarez goodness soon. 

Thank you for reading, for playing the game, and for every kind word sent my way <3

Love,

Olivia