Posted December 26, 2022 by newbynewby
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<Begin Log>
[████████ ████████ Time, Research Area ██]
Capt. █████████: It always sucks ass to get Initial Retrieval duty. You have no idea what the damn thing is capable of besides what jacked up information the field techies can scrape up, and you're lucky if they even tell you the whole story. They told us to "bag and tag." Didn't tell us jackshit about not looking at the damn thing.
Dr. ███: Could you describe the mission, please?
Capt. █████████: Yeah, sorry. We had two choppers, one with my team and one on backup with Zulu 9-B and Dr. ██████. We spotted the target about two clicks north of our patrol path. I'm guessing he wasn't facing our direction, else he would have taken us out then and there.
Dr. ███: Your report says {REDACTED} didn't react to the cold? It was -██o C.
Capt. █████████: Actually, it was -██. And yes, it was butt naked and didn't so much as shiver. Anyway, we landed, approached the target, and Corporal ██ got ready to bag it. That's when Dr. ██████ called. I turned to answer it, and that's what saved me. The target must have turned and my whole squad saw it.
Dr. ███: That's when {REDACTED} entered an agitated emotional state?
Capt. █████████: Yep. [Interviewed now pauses for a second before continuing] Sorry. Got the willies for a second.
Dr. ███: That's all right.
Capt. █████████: [DATA EXPUNGED] My squad did, and they paid for it up the ass.
Dr. ███: Could you describe it a little more, please?
Capt. █████████: [Pauses] [DATA EXPUNGED] Not animal roaring though, sounded exactly like a person. Really fucking creepy. [Pauses again] We started firing when it picked up Corporal ██ and ripped off his leg. God, he was screaming for our help… fuckin 'A… anyway, we were blowing chunks out of the target, round after round. Didn't do jackshit. I almost lost it when it started [DATA EXPUNGED] him. Dr. ███: That's when you ordered the use of an [Papers are heard moving] AT-4 HEDT launcher?
Capt. █████████: An anti-tank gun. Started carrying it ever since SCP-███ got loose. I've seen those tear through tanks like tissue paper. Did the same thing to the target.
Dr. ███: There was significant damage to {REDACTED}
Capt. █████████: It didn't even fucking flinch. It kept tearing apart my squad, but with half of its torso gone. [He draws a large half-circle across his torso]
Dr. ███: But it was taking damage?
Capt. █████████: If it was, it wasn't showing it. It must have lost all its organs, all its blood, but it didn't acknowledge any of it. Its bone structure wasn't hurt at all, though. It kept tearing my squad apart.
Dr. ███: So no actual structural damage. How many rounds would you say were fired at {REDACTED} Capt. █████████: At the least? A thousand. Our door gunner kept his GAU-19 on it for at least twenty seconds. Twenty fucking seconds. That's six hundred .50 caliber rounds pumped into the thing. Might as well been spitting at it.
Dr. ███: This is when Zulu 9-B arrived?
Capt. █████████: Yeah, and my squad was gone. Zulu 9-B managed to get the bag over its head, and it just sat down. We got it into the chopper and got it here. I don't know how I never saw its face. Maybe God or Buddha or whoever thought I should live. The jackass.
Dr. ███: We have obtained an artist's depiction of {REDACTED}'s face. Would you like to view it?
Capt. █████████: [Pauses] You know, after hearing that thing's screams, and the screams of my men, [DATA EXPUNGED] what I heard. No. Just… no.
Dr. ███: All right, I believe we are done here. Thank you, Captain.
[Chairs are heard moving, and footsteps leave the room. Captain (Ret.) █████████ is confirmed to have left Interview Room 22.]
Dr. ███: Let this be on record that I am formally requesting {REDACTED} be terminated as soon as possible.
<End log>