Posted October 31, 2022 by JaN
A whirlwind of unexpectedly strong feelings accompanies me as I humbly present a first demo version of this little endeavor of mine...
I'm honestly proud of what I could accomplish. No matter how you all wil react to my visual novel, I'm sincerely satisfied with what I've been able to put together - and thrilled at the ideas that are yet to come. I had a lot of fun at making this game, and I was amazed at how my brain could start generating a scene after the other once a certain "critical mass" was reached.
Yet at the same time putting my work on the web makes me very anxious. Will you enjoy this game as much as I enjoyed making it? Will you find it pathetically sub-par? Will the result of my hard work just fade away, lost to a plethora of similarly "just average" games?
... This latter possibility being likely the worst outcome I could get, and - I think - the most likely one...
The last feeling that comes to my mind is, dissatisfaction. I had set my mind on publishing the entire first chapter of my work online. As I found out, I was utterly unable to meet my very own schedule. Every time I felt I was closing to my objective I would come up with yet another "neat little thing" I could experiment with. Be it yet another proof-reading round, trying out a different way to manage variables or adding one witty (or not-so-witty) line to a character.
Was I losing myself into meaningless details? Was I just trying to delay the choice I'm doing today?
The only thing that matter is, at a certain point I took a look at myself in the mirror and said to that guy smirking at me, this ends now.
So here it is. It ends now.
For the moment being, of course.