Fake Notes - April 1st 2022

A new patch is plausibly planned to quite possibly release later or earlier today, with a series of last-minute changes being added. Here is a quarterly-competent list of things that might or might not be included in the patch:

• Removed all reward skins from challenges. They will be later reintroduced as paid DLC NFTs that you can pay for in doge coin.
• Removed all difficulty options. Too many players report staring at the difficulty selection screen for over 5 seconds trying to decide what they want to do. Now there is only one option available: Trial Run!
• The demo must now be purchased to download.
• Chapters will be added one at a time over a period of 6 years, and each one must be purchased individually
• Changed the damage model of Titans. They now are immune to damage from frontal attacks, and only take 50% damage from being hit on the sides.
• Increased rotation speed of Titans to 360 degrees per frame.
• Made Scounts 37% smaller and increased the damage of their main weapon by 69%.
• Doubled the number of Brawlers in every single encounter, regardless of whether or not it included Brawlers in the first place.
• All music has been removed due to copyright strikes from someone that does not actually have any rights to the music.
• Increased the length of the intro by 420% and made it unskippable.
• Removed keybind options. The basic control scheme is perfect and should not be altered in any way, shape, or form.
• Added an FoV slider. It doesn't actually do anything, but it's there.
• Reverted all graphics to the pre-alpha placeholder models after accidentally misplacing the proper files. Whoops!
• Removed Borderless Windowed and Fullscreen modes. The game shall now be played in regular Windowed mode.

I hope you'll probably enjoy all these questionable changes, and have a happy April Fools Day!