UPDATE 26/9/2022!


Hey, guys! What's up?
How did your week go? Mine is still the same old~

So I'm stuck in a stalemate with my husband, I guess you can say both of us are being stubborn right now? 
I'm not backing down because it involves our daily lives + working ethics and the way he handles it, it makes me really worried & uncertain about the future. If he can't see the big picture and step up to what he originally promised, well... let's just say that I might have chosen the wrong person :')

On the other hand, I'm actually glad that I'm away atm.
I discovered a big plothole with Chapter 4 part 2 and I think I'll need a lot of time to re-write some scenes. Don't worry though, nothing can take me away from this project or stop me from making progress, not even marriage crisis lol

- 16 pages got programmed in! I'm having a little trouble with the Antagonist's character development, but it's a push and pull. Sometimes I got inspired, sometimes I wonder what I was thinking when I wrote Chapter 4 part 2 :'D

- The usual polishing is doing well! You know me, I'm always going back and forth between chapters just to polish some grammars/conversations x'D

- Added a side CG/bonus image with 2 variations for a certain event! I'm doing my best to do less repetition and more new scenes for the antagonist route for you >< Showing you is better than explaining it, so here's a sneak peek!

Welp, I think that's it for now.
As always, thanks for reading and I hope all of you are healthy no matter where you are ^///^
Drink lots, don't skip your meals, and have a fun week!
xoxo,

SweetChiel

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Comments

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(+3)

I'm sorry he's being a stubborn jerk and no, you didn't make the wrong choice you did the best with the information you were given.
If he hid himself and parts of who he is/how he acted that is on him, not you.
I will say either nip it in the bud and set your foot down now or it does get worse. People coddled by their parents wont change unless they want to, and if it's too comfortable for him.. welp he might be a lost cause.
Sadly the keeping your distance and giving strict boundaries is all you can overall do, and hopefully he'll realize how badly he screwed up. The will to change and keep change has to be from him/inside him though, alas.

It's also part of why my mom and one of her exes broke up, he was so complacent just living in his parents' place because "Well I make some money and when they die the house is going to me anyway, so why should I move out?" among other reasons.

Def do your best to protect you and don't get swept up in it all, we all care for and are rooting for you and you deserve to be treated wonderfully, not minimized and ignored.

Also if he keeps up the "it's unimportant" bits... try treating something you don't care for but he does the same way and turn it around on him and be all "And this is what you were doing to me this whole time. It ends now or something else ends." kinda things. ;w;

(1 edit) (+1)

Thanks, Seraiden *huggs
'The will to change and keep change has to be from him/inside him though, alas.'  These words resounded deep within me. Unfortunately, he choose not to change...

I've posted an emergency update just now and when I read your text again today, I've realized how true you are. You speak exactly the same as my mom who said, my husband is the key. If he doesn't want to change or don't realize how badly he screwed up then... prepare for the worse. And the worse happened.

I guess I regret a little. I shouldn't have agreed to live with the in laws in the first place... I thought I can trust him. I thought he can talk with his mom when she becomes too much but... oh well, what happened already happened...

Still, I'd like to thank you for being here for me, Seraiden :')
xoxo,

SweetChiel

Of course, I'm sometimes to brain stressed/potato blob to think of responses, but I try to always read your updates.
Also, as someone who's been in a toxic and starting off emotionally abusive relationship(it didn't get physical til after I had m y kid) I don't wish that on anyone, and it sucks how they can make us internalize it and think the weight should be all on us when  no, relationships are mutual and both sides need to be willing to do some lifting to make them work. If one side's carrying it all it just makes you hurt and collapse, in one way or another. :<

(1 edit)

As many have said - you need to clearly tell your husband what worries you, what angers you and how you think this should be fixed (approached). But first of all ask him if he really wants to work in the shop. If he doesn't, then you should talk about what he would like to do and how he sees your future together, what compromises each of you can do to support each other.

Also, I know it's hard, but maybe defend your husband in front of her, and say you like it the way he handles things and you trust him. Maybe try to turn every of her complains into a joke. So she would see that she has to talk to him herself, and that you have her son's back :) And tell her if she continues bossing you around you'll not produce her any grandchildren (¬‿¬ ) (≧▽≦). Sorry. I don't really know how to help you with the she-devil (。•́︿•̀。). But you should stand up for yourself. If someone is using your kindness to manipulate you, and you know they do, it's your responsibility to defend yourself. Or be used forever (×_×)


P. S.: Visiting washroom seems like a valid reason to leave work to me xD. Also, I personally find smiling shop keepers creepy (≧▽≦). Polite is enough for me.

(+1)

Hi mif4n! The problem is whenever we talk about it he always underestimate said problem, saying 'it's unimportant' and when we talk about the future he always said I'm thinking too far ahead--which frustrates me :'D He said he will inherit his parents business but his behavior at work is... Very grumpy and sometimes he can be really impolite. What's worse is he doesn't realize it's rude. 

I tried the soft way but it didn't work. I mean, I always defend him whenever his mother complains to me about him but when he's not showing any improvement/effort in this matter, it's not helping. Sometimes I wonder if he's being obnoxious on purpose Q_Q I want to trust him but he once said he'll tell his mother to stop complaining to me--and when we fought it was clear that he haven't even talked about this to his mother. 

When I think about the future, I'm worried because if he can't do manage the store well, will I have to tolerate his parents complaining & ordering me around everyday? I want us to be independent but it's hard when my husband is financially depended on his mother (his mother gave him the monthly salary and I think this is why it's hard for him to stand up to his mom). In any case, my stance right now is for us to leave and live independently. That way, he'll start thinking about how to pay the bills and provide for his new family. Because I think one of the reason why he have bad behaviours at work is because there is no consequences

I agree that you need some independence. I hope you'll resolve it soon and finally start picking the good fruits of marriage :) Also, I want to apologise for calling your mother-in-law the "she-devil". I was joking, of course. But now I'm ashamed of my wording <(_ _)>.

(+1)

It's okay, mif4n~ don't worry about it. I know you were joking but honestly speaking, I sometimes wanted to swear at the in laws 😂 so yup, all is good~

hi! stay healthy too 
it seems difficult at first of marriage ? i hope it solve soon 
im not good at talking... so i really hope you can do what you want to and remember to stay healthy! 

Thanks, sherene aurely!
Yes, the first year of marriage is hard, and even harder if you live with the in laws...
I've done what I can and offered what I can, it's just... life doesn't always go the way we want it.

Anyways, thanks for dropping by!
xoxo,

SweetChiel

(+2)

Hey SweetChiel! :)

Thanks as always for your weekly updates.

Just read your latest update too, which by the way is not online on Patreon. Last week I was wondering why I didn't get a notification. 

So thanks for your openness/transparency as well. I personally don't feel uncomfortable. :)

The first "darn" year seems to be difficult everywhere. 

First, I hope you guys can work this out together. Communicating is always the first best way and certainly getting distance to approach the problem calmly and objectively.

Maybe it also helps if he can't comprehend it to show him. So let him slip into the role of the customer. This works well with video, for example, or with a role play to re-enact the situation. Also good is always the perspective of another person. Someone uninvolved can usually reflect a person's external image more objectively.

A conversation with your mother-in-law would certainly also be quite good. Personally, I find it a bit strange that she is "bothering" you with this, so to speak. On the other hand, I think maybe she has been trying to correct exactly the same problem for a long time and hasn't been able to do it, so she has been biting on "granite" so far and hopes that you might be able to fix it. 

In any case, I wish you good luck in resolving the conflict.

<3 Yanonako

Oh dear, I'm really sorry, Yanonako!
I think I forgot to post last week's update at Patreon D':

Really, thank you so much for reminding me this! >_<; I've added a small note of apology at today's update. I also added a link to the itch.io update page if anyone still want to read it.

I also agree that communication is the best when dealing with problems. But it frustrates me when we've talked about it over and over, and there is still no changes ^^; I tried the soft way and it didn't work, so here we are *sigh*... I also hope that creating some distance will make us calmer, see the problem clearer, & we can also introspect ourselves.

And yes, I also get the same feeling as you. Maybe mom in law knows how stubborn her son is, so she turns to me. This is originally a small problem, but the thing is, it can lead to bigger problems in the future if he's not taking this seriously. I just hope he realize this soon...

As always, thanks for dropping by and for lending me an ear, Yanonako! QuQ
xoxo,

SweetChiel

(+1)

I really have to thank you for your weekly updates, I always look forward to reading them and seeing how far you've come. I really hope you and your husband can figure out your differences, I always feel like communication is the biggest and most important part of every relationship, but sometimes it can be hard. Maybe the time apart will actually help you and give both of you different perspectives or maybe you could include a third uninvolved person for more perspective? (Not like your in-laws or family, someone who is not involved in the problem at all?) 

I wish you the best of luck with resolving the conflict as well as your continued process on bermuda! And of course, stay healthy! :)

You're welcome, Sazura!
Yes, I do hope we can work this out. It's originally a small problem but he's being obnoxious about it ^^; I also hope this time apart will let us cool our heads, see the problem clearer, and introspect ourselves. 

With that said, thank you for for reading & for cheering me up, Sazura! >///<
I really appreciate it, please take care and I hope you have a great week!
xoxo,

SweetChiel