Kenneski

Errors I found while playing:

• Various minor grammatical errors, I won't catalogue them all here but it might be worth getting a proofreader of some kind.
• When chosing the "short" height I get an error where a variable call ($height3) is visible in the text and thus is not set. Later in the story, when this variable is called it then doesn't work properly because it was not set properly here. Also just as a note as a developer, the way this variable is used seems to define the height of a specific character as a string of text like "a woman shorter than you" or such. This is generally not how these kinds of variables are used, more usually being compared in an if statement whenever a character's height is important so that the author can write appropriate descriptions on the fly and doesn't have to rely on the same text string forever.
• When going to the infirmary for the sick old man, I did not listen to the voices or look behind any curtains but the following text seems to imply that I did (the doctor being suspicious of me and a later passage saying I ponder what I read, but the variable for what I read is not set so it just displays the variable name).
• Two commas in the scene where the doctor returns with the old man: "My eyes snap to the back of the room,, but"
• When interacting with Wylder, taking her hand (both flirt and normal) reduces her relationship instead of adding to it. The relationship stat goes from 50 to 5 or 7 depending which I pick, likely the result of the variable call setting the relationship stat to a number instead of adding that number to the current relationship value.

Overall a promising little demo. Just needs a clean up pass to tighten some stuff up. One personal pet peeve of mine is how often numerals will find their way into the text. Like instead of "you two" it will say "you 2". Its not major but in my opinion it comes off as sloppy, sort of like inserting texting abbreviations like 'tho' or 'smth'. Numeral characters aren't usually used for small numbers in stories. That's nitpicky though and ultimately I can look past it since the premise is intriguing.

smh im stuck between wanting to romance Halson or Roman, the agony of choices

ur story*

Also i think i found a bug? Is it supposed to drop Wylder's opinion of you by -50% if you take her hand? It does the same with the [FLIRT] option too
Not taking her hand doesnt change her opinion
Is it supposed to be the other way around?

Oh i loved the update but you  really had to end it like that omg 😭

I am liking what I'm reading so far, but one thing that I'm noticing is a lot of disparity between the calm and collected options/responses and the scenes right after almost being a emotional breakdown of the character. 

While I can understand those responses, being a almost hopeless setting with little to no way out in sight, I can't help but feel a bit confused about the choices presented. Does the MC have some sort of condition in this story that isn't explained at the start or am I just not really understand how they feel about it?

It might just be me being a moron here (wouldn't be the first time), but it kinda bothers me in a sense that this is happening.

Oh wow Devi. I can't believe I'm saying this but i might actually like this more than i did Demo. The writing is honestly so good. I just wanted to keep going! I love how different the ROs are but hal is just 😍 top of the list. I really really enjoyed this. I know i say tht for all your stories and I'm a fan duh but seriously this was very well written.