Good twist.
Play book
OPR Jam10 - "Whats the worst that can happen?"'s itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Concepts & Originality | #4 | 4.074 | 4.074 |
| Adherence to Theme | #13 | 3.741 | 3.741 |
| Overall | #17 | 3.728 | 3.728 |
| Flow & Clarity | #37 | 3.370 | 3.370 |
Ranked from 27 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
Comments
I like the repetition in this story. It solidifies the events and actually helps to keep the flow. The reveal at the end is especially good because of this repetition. We keep talking about how good the drinks are, but don't see why until it's too late!
The dialogue also gives big artful dodger vibes, which fits hive gangers pretty well, I feel!
Submitted
Pubblica O MuoriI enjoyed this one quite a lot! It's well-paced with a satisfying conclusion, and my one nitpick is that the ending felt a bit like it came out of left field. Bazko's headaches were only partially effective at foreshadowing the twist and I think dropping some additional hints would have really made the dramatic irony shine.
Nice story with a good twist ending showing lovely creativity. The time jumps affected the flow a little but overall a good read!
Submitted
No Good Deed Goes UnpunishedI was getting ready to fall asleep for the twist but it was actually really enjoyable! I'm not personally a fan of lots of banter in a story, but it's easily readable and doesn't give much more than necessary. Well done!
Submitted
The PeacekeeperGreat twist with the alien involvement! Really enjoyed how the theme of consequences was woven into the plot. Keep it up!
Submitted
The Curse of CuriosityGood original story. A couple things confused me. One, I would suggest to format your paragraphs with indents or single line spaces to make the story more user friendly. Two, I was a little confused at what was going on. Was the hooch always bad and they just realized it at the end or were they lured in and then given bad stuff. It seemed it started corrupting their minds or infecting them with some evil species of aliens. Either way, it could have just been my own ADD or something, I feel you were on the cusp of a great story and still found it an enthralling read.
Submitted
The Return of Lord BlackvayneThanks for the read
The idea was that soulsstealers in opr are psychic and slowly corrupt their targets through subtle influence that grows over time. So the idea was the job was given and the snatcher was working on the leader, when the leader would check the hooch it would push on his mind to make him see regular stuff. Over time it keeps pushing him to one more job, even past where it's safe or smart,and giving the infected "booze" to his trusted people, and is strengthening its hold to the rest of the gang. Soul snatchers are also bio-specialists that modify their followers so I thought them importing alien matter to help the conversion along would make sense. Charles only sees it at home becouse she's not a higher up and the alien never anticipated her getting it so soon, so when she goes home and pours it into a glass instead of drinking it out of the bottle like Baz suggests the alien isn't aware enough of her to push her to see regular booze.
I guess maybe I was working from some assumed knowledge of the setting and should have tried to clarify more. Hope that helps!
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