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ilovejerrysienfeld...

A topic by bunionrings created Jun 13, 2020 Views: 260 Replies: 1
Viewing posts 1 to 2
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What can I say? This creator is one of the strangest creatures on itch.io. I can't tell if they are doing a bit or if they are serious. Their games and their persona are some of the strangest content I've stumbled across. All of their posts here on itch.io are typed in nearly unintelligible, broken English. For example, they posted in the community for the game Raft, "Yourn guyz shoild sdo PS4 pornt... I woulnt play inless I had ps45 portn . I'm not have ngrood compunter but it doesnt run anything". Please let me know if you guys have interacted with ilovejerrysienfeld and how that went. I am fascinated by them and think they need more exposure. Of course I have to go over the games, of which there are four. They are all Jerry Seinfeld (often misspelled as Sienfeld, simflem, etc.) themed games, and they all exist here on itch.io:

Testicle nonster jerand simflem (epilepsy warning) which has an objectively awful theme for the listing page... The game itself is a horrendous assault on the sense. It advertises "New Arrow Key Action" on the title screen. The game is a short walk through a poorly drawn Seinfeld themed world. The sound is the worst. That's all I can say about this one...

Jerryjerryjerryjerryjerryjerryjerry is a similar experience to Testicle nonster, however its menu is infinitely worse. There are three buttons. A play button which does what you'd expect, a "yeast infection" button which screams at an awful volume when you click it, and an options button which calls you a "stupid cunt" and tells you to "just play the game." The rest of the game is just as awful, featuring a sequence in which the background texture is broken, and a button which spawns infinite dicks which cause the game to hang. I had to use task manager to end this one...

Jerald Sienfeld opens directly into the "game" in which a bunch of Jerry Seinfeld heads move around the screen in unison, and whenever you touch one, it plays an awful noise and opens countless tabs to Jerry Seinfeld's website. This "game" was featured was featured in a YouTube Video by Jupiter_Hadley in which she attempts to play this thing and her computer reportedly crashed...

Jerarg Slime felt (sexual content warning) is a short visual novel and, perhaps, the most cohesive of the four games. Before reading further, I do have to stress that the sexual content warning is very real and fairly graphic. The game doesn't feature ilovejerrysienfeld's trademark nearly unintelligible broken English, but it does have some choice quotes such as, "oh my, who is this shining anti-white night here to smeep my virgin legs away?" The game features Jerry Seinfeld (obviously) as the love interest of protagonist (presumably the player). The game features various "moods" for Seinfeld consisting of a few different expressions that I can only attempt to describe with words. The first one we see is Classic Shrugging Jerry, the next is Hurt Jerry, and the third is Suggestive Noseless Jerry. The protagonist and Seinfeld talk for a few minutes and then they go to the park to "stuby this mafs" where the protagonist delivers the unfortunate thought, "go on tell him how you feel! as michael jordan once said, you miss 100percent of the shots you don't shoot into the neighborhood homeless person"... Yikes. The two confess their feelings and then immediately go to one of their houses and start to have sex. This shows us the fourth "expression": In Pain Sex Jerry. This part has Jerry in a compromised position, with the protagonist's finger in his penis... Jerry Seinfeld says, "what's the deal with my ejaculate" as he finishes, and the protagonist says, "what a creamy cummy tsy beautiful man." This concludes the game and takes you back to the menu.

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tthiths me :)