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White Cis-Men: Consider

A topic by MeAndAmpersand created 98 days ago Views: 485 Replies: 5
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Apologies if this isn't the appropriate place to put this. 

These forums are in an open, potentially equitable place, but we are on the cusp of establishing yet another home for cis white indie designers and sending marginalized folks away to places where they don't have to worry about being talked over. This happens a lot. It really, really should not happen here, and it is our responsibility as allies to assure that this is not the case.  

Because white cis men (of which I am one) are used to being listened to, and when people disagree with us, we feel the need to Explain More. And when they continue to disagree with us, we must Explain Even More Clearly Than Before, and Perhaps Cite Our Qualifications, and Rephrase Ideas We Have Already Expressed
This is the great agony of philosophy and theory, but I think we can do better than grad students arguing incessantly over the basics. Please consider the ratio of white men with philosophy degrees, and why maybe there is a stigma surrounding conversations of hypotheticals and theories in an open forum. You know, like this one.  

So, here's my proposal...

Cis White Men, before posting, consider: 
- Have I already expressed my ideas? 
- Do I feel upset because I am not being understood? 
- Have I spoken more than the marginalized voices in this discussion? 

And if you answer "Yes" to any of those questions, I invite you, to Please Stop Talking. 
PS: If you feel that I am indirectly talking about you... Well, that might be true. 
But does it render anything I said less valid? 

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My friend, you are allowed to stop speaking at any moment. You do not need to announce it. 

This post is actually something I'd been meaning to write for awhile on itch, what with it being a new space for all kinds of folks. However, admittedly, your contribution in the "Platonic Session" thread prompted me to get off of my ass and go ahead and write it. 

You should really take note of the fact that this post applies to you, that you apparently agree with it, and yet you still feel your opinion needs to be expressed. 


Actually. Who the hell are you to tell someone to shut up and sit down? At what point is someone supposed to dig through someone's profile and threads to determine, oh this person is marginalized, should I shut the hell up to give them space. It's not like everyone has their pronouns etc in an in your face place. There is a very small number of folks here i know offhand who they are.

And is there a damn metric that should be used to determine if someone is speaking over too many folks? Because last time I checked I had constrained this contentious discussion to it's thread, in a general theory subforum. I wasn't aware that it was supposed to be, what it feels like, a haven of specifically story/narrative first gamers. 

You'd think with your childish PS addition that i had been tracking my "beef" throughout the other forums. 

Anybody who isn't you or your cohort, if they feel wronged or spoken over or insulted, I apolgize. Because I did notice it was folks all from your little group who seem the most upset.

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I want to remind everyone of the Code of Conduct. Specifically:

It's our job as members of this community to honor one another, show each other respect, and to uplift one another by keeping the gates open for everyone. In this space we can shape a culture of personal and professional value. Of care, the sharing of information, and of promoting a better standard for how we are treated and how we treat each other.

If you're response is not building on the discussion in a constructive manner or not said respectfully, do not post it. 

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In general, "ceding the floor" is good practice in open forums like this one, even if you don't know if you're interacting with marginalized groups (and even if you're a member of a marginalized group yourself).

That's something everyone occasionally screws up, especially in an online forum where everyone can be typing at once, but it's also something that, if you can force yourself to slow down and listen, to let the silence linger between the last person's response and your own, to pause your contribution to let other voices be heard and then acknowledge them, the value of the discussion overall will improve.

It's one of those lessons that everyone, not just white cis men, can benefit from--but often it's a lesson that most needs to be learned by people who don't fully recognize the space they occupy, which is a mistake that is most frequently made by white, cisgender, heterosexual men.


I've closed the thread since it violates global community rules. Please avoid posting about sensitive topics that may instigate argument. While we certainly respect free speech, we ask for your consideration of others in the channel and in our community. Avoid posting material that promotes polarizing views about religion, race, gender, politics, or any other groups.

More importantly, please refrain from "indirectly" harassing other members of the community, or anyone for that matter. This will result in account suspension, but it'll just be a warning this time. 

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