It is often known how many hours of work creative people like creatives or developers put their health below their work. The stories of these cases are often painful to hear. But, if someone was in a state of poverty with miserable conditions, and has the opportunity to generate profits from creating things, wouldn't it be better to replicate those same working mentality? Shouldn't that be something to strive to be?
I've been trying for a while now to do things like reduce as little as possible my hobby hours, like reading manga or playing video games, and make most of the things I do in the day to work on my stuff. I also try to reduce my sleeping hours to dedicate more of my time to this. When I hear things like "X creativeworks [Many hours] per week and sleeps [almost nothing]" the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm a failure for not being able to do that same thing and that I should strive to replicate it. I think it sounds a little ugly but it's the truth. Being able to get into a state where your job is everything is something I admire a lot and want to achieve, because for me the alternative to that is absolute misery.
And the worst part is that I'm struggling to get it. I keep falling into things like continuing to watch anime or continuing to play some Terraria playtroughs because I feel like it, I suck at keeping myself awake in the early hours of the morning working, I can't get enough sleep because when I wake up I have very little energy for anything (I think this got worse as I got older). and no matter how hard I try to work in a long-hours period, I'm going to get to a point where, for example, anything I write or draw I have to struggle so much and when I finish it, it's in a deplorable quality. (I'm a novice at what I do, so the quality is already low, so it's even worse).
I don't agree that, for example, people in the first world who can afford to order a pizza whenever they feel like it should aspire to this, because I don't see the need. They should take advantage of that condition to work with calm and regulation. But someone like me who can't even afford to buy medicine for a cold that has lasted for a month? Wouldn't it be logical for me to acquire an "all or nothing" attitude given the way I am? Absolutely everyone tells me no, even my fathers, the ones who struggles more, and I still don't fully understand. I may even abandon that mentality when I am in a better state, it may be a temporary thing. Until I get a strong answer on this I am not going to get it out of my head this issue.