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UltraShiko

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A member registered Sep 30, 2019 · View creator page →

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There actually is a fast forward button on the cassette player as well as a rewind and pause button. Yeah, those aren't just for show lol.

You said you couldn't understand the context of the tapes too well? Could you elaborate? I'm compiling a list of feedback for our programmer to tinker with over the weekend.

Thanks for playing! 

The use of RPGMaker is impressive, especially for the "gameception" that occurs later on. It was innovative, especially in regards the "glitchy" effects and the distorted OSTs t6hat appear later.

The premise is unique, with the symbolism with the video game cleverly implemented. There's also the mystery of Mei's condition that is given just enough context for us to grasp her plight. Not everything needs an explanation, especially when the quotes and game symbolism fill in all the holes.

The point-and-click segments, while innovative, felt tacked on as well as the choices we were given. A lot of the interactions amounted to "oh, this isn't what I want" and vice versa. Now I only played this once and got the "Little Bird" ending so I imagine the choices do have merit. But at the same time I believe that they could've been implemented earlier and possibly even given more purpose in the game. But again, the scope presented to us by the game itself, especially in regards to the one-month time limit are more than enough to make up for these nuisances.

Best of luck in the jam!

If we're this solid as an alpha, imagine what this project will look like with some polish

I asked our programmer to mark the tapes played as well, however we had to crunch to get this project out in time. But you're absolutely right. That is confusing.

> Gameplay has no bugs

"Oh good, he didn't play this on an ultrawide monitor"

Glad you like it. The slow burn was a concern for us. A lot of people dislike slow burn stories, so we got to go all out without giving it away.  I was hoping everyone would laugh at how derpy Detective Moore looks until the evidence locker appears lol

From my playthroughs so far, this visual novel easily has the best writing I've seen. It's not uncommon for game jams to forgo proofreaders and for you to catch typos and syntax errors. I really enjoyed the metaphors especially! They helped really capture the vibe of what you were aiming for.

The art is loveable and the animations on the second half were very well done. I especially liked the sound fx and the dreary tune that plays throughout the game. It does well to set the mood, as well as conceal the twist.

As for said twist, I do believe it could've had a bit more build up to it. I knew that she had "episodes", however I think a few clues about the dangers of said episodes could've been expanded upon. Obviously the mystery needs to be a mystery, however proper build up and subtle hints make it all the more satisfying. That said, I'm not particularly good at solving mysteries...

Also, I'm not one to bring up excess assets, but I wish Jessica had more of a role. SHe was there for one scene and that's it. You could easily have tied her in to the end somehow, mainly leaving clues for the audience. Even though we knew she didn't know of her problems, there's a lot of potential for utilizing her to up the ante.

Good luck with your jam project!

The art for this jam project is easily the best I've seen so far in this jam. Halloween vibes are masterfully crafted into the UI and curso and the premise of the story seems tailor made for this jam. And to make such a stylish game in such a short amount of time is impressive to say the least. The CG near the end of the game was really funny as were the transitions; one such transition involving the MC screaming.

The voicework is cunningly applied. I've noticed several VNs that record grunts and one-liners to save money but sill have an immersive effect. The options listed are solid and accessible as well. I always appreciate having the ability to turn down the volume. You'd be amazed at how many jam projects don't let you do this.

Seeing as this project is still a work-in-progress, I highly recommend finding a proofreader or a line editor to search for structural and grammatical errors in the script. It appears that you aren't a native speaker, seeing as some of the voicelines are recorded in Japanese. All the more reason to find someone qualified to help you iron out the script. Perhaps one of your fans can assist you in this.

Another problem is the choices. A lot of them simply have no effect. If anyone has found the "bad end" you'd understand where I'm coming from. However some would be bad even if this game had a yuear in the oven. I found once branching path near the end that said the same thing, but with different words. Also choices that branch back to the original choice menu should be used sparingly. I'm referring to the "black cat" choice.

Story-wise, this is a solid piece for a jam project. But if you plan on making this a full-fledged visual novel, I highly recommend delving deeper into each character and adding more to their lore. Your premise is solid, the world is interesting, and your cast is enjoyable. I believe that you can turn this into a formidable game, especially with that art!

Best of luck in the jam! 

A fun way to start out the jam! A simple yet enjoyable little entry with whimsical humor, dark undertones, and with a rudimentary yet enjoyable premise!

I think this game's greatest strength is its humor. Perhaps I'm not a good person, but the idea of an animal someone finding a way to get itself ensnared by a chair had me in tears. I have 9 dogs and a cat and their antics aren't that far off.

However, I wish the game took more of an ambitious route. I noticed that certain animals when refused or accepted displayed devil horns, a halo, or a ;/. I experimented to see if muking up the results got you anywhere, but I didn't notice any alterations in the gameplay.

Also, the UI for accepting and refusing an animal disappears after the first wave of animals. If you intentionally did this to mess with the player, than perhaps you should've swapped out the fiery sound fx that plays as well when you click the left option. Otherwise, you might want to try and fix this before a judge gets their mitts on this.

An excellent entry all the same however! Sometimes, a basic premise is just as enjoyable as a complex game! 

Appreciate the criticism. Unfortunately we could not get out the "perfect" build before the deadline, so we cut our losses and uploaded what we could. Crunch time is never fun... But I'll be sure to let our programmerknow what you've brought up. He was itching to polish this game after it was uploaded

Excellemt feedback! We love your support!

We appreciate your support! Everyone worked very hard to put together this project. This has been my second jam project so far and even I was thrown off at how in synch everyone was during the development

In regards to the audio of the tapes, we tried to leave them untouched for the sake of the reference. And as the scriptwriter, this hurt my brain.

The dialogue was very clunky at times, some sentences were too long, and some of the wordplay was much to be desired. 

Our VAs appreciate your support. They worked really hard to pull off a convincing performance, especially in regards to those audio lines

I appreciate your feedback and absolutely agree that there were some kinks. Unfortunately we were running down the wire with this submission, so we had to cut our losses and upload what we had.

Could you please list some areas that need to improve? Our programmer expressed interest in updating the submission once he had rested up. 

We may even release this on Steam as a victory lap, so we'd like to have the best build we could get

I think this game has a lot of potential and has a solid foundation for work. Unfortunately it's hard fpr me to give feedback considering that through our discussions, you were on the wire when it came to the completion of this game. However you should still be proud of your success nonetheless. How many people could say that they've released a jam project outside of the vndev community?

You've probably heard these before, but here are some pointers I would like you to consider when revisiting this project.

-Expand, expand, and expand. I think you have a cool motif going with this Lost and FOrgotton theme, but the execution needs more polish. I was asking myself constantly while playing your game; "What does turning mean?' and many similar questions about elements of the world. When you come back to review the script, I encourage you to consider when reading "How can I expand upon this to give it more meaning and impact"?

-I believe Poppy out of all the chars needs work. In my humble opinion, I found her to be too composed and too calm considering that she was just isekaied into another dimension. The survival bit at the start felt very immersive, but said immersion was broken as I found her, or myself, eagerly accepting everything that was asked of me. 

-In regards to the choices, there are areas where I believe that there are too many and two few choices available. In the start of the game, I was bombarded with choices, some being understandable such as running or waiting whilst others felt benign or meaningless such as grabbing a knife or a lantern from your bag. One choice I really disliked was the rest or look for clues choice because when I picked "rest" initially, the game warned me of missing out on clues. While I can understand this concept on paper, it came off as hand holdy considering that this is a choose your own adventure style game. There were also choices that only gave me one option. I'm uncertain if these occurrences were due to me lacking clues so I'll ignore that nitpick

-The tone of the game felt jagged to me. It started out as a choose your adventure-esque game only to slowly morph into a kinetic story. I was kinda bummed that there weren't choices that led to an escape route, but this might be one of the endings you told me about that you had in mind. Also, it was kinda awkward to be addressed in the third person when being spoken too, only to have it shift to second person when describing my actions. I couldn't tell if I was the MC or if I was guiding Poppy. What I'd suggest when updating is to really ground yourself on what you want this game to be. Look to your GDD and really fine tune everything.

-While it was awesome that you got VAs in on a jam project, some of them were hit or miss I'm afraid. I think Ronin's VA did a serviceable job at executing his lines and Poppy was alright. A lot of the enunciations on the lines, especially those that had the characters yelling, were a tad underwhelming. Then again I'm not a VA nor do I claim to know what good VAing is like. Just my two cents

I wish you the best of luck on the second release. Games like this sometimes need a bit more than a month for their true potential to be realised

One thing I thought was innovative about the game was how small lore tidbits were placed around certain words to help us understand the world and culture.  I would love to learn how to do the same for future projects

The art and compositions are phenomenal! They were both very fitting to the theme and tone of your piece. They really captured the beauty we've come to admire from japanese pieces.

Though, I found the overall story a little confusing. Especially since Ren was trying to make amends, but I felt that "him abandoning her" should've had more depth to it and presented earlier. Maybe I just didn't notice it, but I wasn't sure why Koharu was so hostile to him.

I also felt that the reparation bit was a tad to succinct. I liked the "big revelation" arc, but it felt unearned, at least in my opinion. I think had the riceball scene had more depth put into it, it would've sold me.

That said, please don't take my critiques too harshly. We all only had a month to forge a script and a game. I don't criticize to be mean or nasty, but because I would want the same done to my pieces so that I may learn. This was a solid read and you should be proud regardless of what others had to say.

Solid Work!

The story was chilling, there was a lot of psychological and biological elements a student like myself could enjoy, and my favorite aspect about this game was how the cutscenes and sprites flowed so naturally!

You've got to share some of that code!

Indeed. There is much kindness in the community.

Glad you enjoyed the project

An interesting piece on the human decomposition. It was definitely unique in it's tone and the story presented

The sound fx and osts were perfect as well as the dreary artstyle. The characters also seemed to fit well for the theme as well.

That said, there were a few bumps in the road, as is to be expected in any game that is to be made within the span of a month. While I've given the creator my personal thoughts, I really think such an interesting premise should be revisited in the future. This idea has loads of potential and with more time then a mere month, I think this idea could be a phenomenal piece for the horror genre of visual novels

much appreciated. I know I busted my ass to get those FX procking when they did. 

We also have my composer to thank for the nusic. Dude blew it out of the water with that Spooky theme and the last sound fx. Took him almost the entire month to get it down, but it was WELL worth the wait.

My artist also was on another level. Been working with him for some time and he makes stellar artwork for good prices.

I don’t deserve to have people this dedicated to helping my dream

I simply cannot understand how someone can make such a phenomenal piece in only a month

The artwork is stellar, the music fitting, and the topic of grief was handled with the respect and realism most media failt to achieve.

The game also is fairly lengthy in terms of vn jam projects. Whilst it took me a month to make a short, you may created a small movie of sorts.

You have my utmost respect as a game developer. I wish you the best of luck in the judging

We’ll just have to see

Played through 10 of the 13 endings and am impressed at the level of content you managed to pull off in a month's work time.

Well done, you've set the bar high for gamdeving in my eyes. I'll need to work harder next year if I am to hold up to devs such as yourself

Much appreciated

Much appreciated! Glad I was able to pull off what I was going for. For a first time, this game turned out so well

Awesome. I was going for a Loony Toon short kinda vibe. Considering that this was my first time coding, I decided to go for a shorter piece that I know I could write quickly so that I could experiment with the coding quicker. That and I wanted to experiment with writing humor instead of dark fantasy