Aha, thank you!!
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I finally understand why they call them "bastard" swords...
In all seriousness, well-done. I never thought I'd enjoy a "intentionally battling with the mechanics"-style game but I was hooked from start to end. Got a time of 18:13 my first time through; loved how concise and refined this feels for a game made under such a tight time pressure!
In previous years, the general rule has been "it's okay to upload small tweaks, but major content updates should be saved until after voting ends or uploaded to a separate project." So yes, fixing typos and quick fixes for bugs is kosher, as far as I know.
Thanks for the detailed reply! Let me see...
Play: The eventual goal for the game is to have at least nine possible patrons, and to have a random five chosen for any particular playthrough. I've already put in some work to make it easier to add new characters by creating generic passages which handle the behind-the-scenes mechanics before forwarding the player onto the appropriate text, so I'm not recreating the same logic over and over again.
Aesthetic: Yeah, this is the default style for Sugarcube! And yeah, that's the kind of thing I like to do for polished works, but this time around I had to focus on the writing/mechanics.
Sound: No sound! I could throw a song in there maybe for the full version.
Narrative: I'm not much of a bar-goer myself, aha. The goal for the final game is to include a little illustration for the main characters and the patrons! The main character is a combination of Floraverse species: he's an "okopy" (like "okapi") since he's a mix between a uniqorn and a turf tiger. So think a unicorn with stripes. Uniqorns have doppelgangers, which is where the "kopy" in "okopy" comes from. There's a good sample of art of him here: https://twitter.com/Opaopa13/status/1223259692287299584
Kink: Yeah, I know it's off-putting to some, so I made sure to include an option to filter it out. I'd like to expand this for the full game; e.g., when I have nine characters, I can let players who are uncomfortable with verbal degradation filter out Vexx as a possible patron. And yeah, this game is set in the world of Floraverse! You can read the webcomic or play games set in Floraverse... in addition to the games published under my account, I'm also the writer for Practice Run and one-half of the writing team for the Alice's Day Off demo.
Harmony and Novelty: Yeah, scope is important! The concept started out as a Bitsy game, aha. Twine and Bitsy are my favorite mediums for avoiding scope creep... except for the (unpublished) game I made that embeds mini-Bitsy games into a Twine project, aha. I hope your own project turns out well, good luck!!
Thank you! And yeah, it's been fun developing the universe! There's a collection that gathers them here: https://floraverse.itch.io/
Of particular interest may be Cherry Kisses (NSFW), which includes Florbet and Quill as customers. There's also Alice's Day Off (NSFW), which has no overlap in characters with Quill Service, but which I did half the writing for, and which does have character overlap with Cherry Kisses. And then there's Spank Quill (NSFW), which I wrote, and which you can probably guess the theme of. I'll mention Practice Run (SFW) too, since I did the writing for that.
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Ah, okay. Physical descriptions are definitely a weakness of mine -- my goal for the final game is to include art for each patron to help out with that. But I can also think about expanding the textual description.
That said, these are furry characters, so "looks like a man or woman" doesn't make as much sense! Vexx is a rabbat -- they're relatively short, have huge, long rabbit ears, long feet and are relatively bottom-heavy. They don't really look like a man or a woman in human terms! But yeah, more description would be a good thing to look into. Thanks for the feedback!
Well, Vexx is neither, they're non-binary! I use gendered pronouns for the characters that use them, like Quill and Florbet.
If you're referring to genitals, I don't feel the need to bring up a character's genitals unless they're involved in the narration. The two characters I added just happened to not have their genitals involved; other customers added to the full version will.
Thank! I've been working on a "full release" version that will include more characters. Quill definitely has a pre-existing relationship with Florbet at the bar. I'm glad it still read well even for people who are unfamiliar with the characters already!
(You might want to check out Cherry Kisses, by eevee, who runs these jams. Florbet and Quill both show up as customers!)
Spawners: Oh! Yes, I see that now, it's spawning the yellow circle. I was reading the "color change" as "capturing" the spawner, especially since my score was going down... that made me think my score was just the total number of spawners I had "captured." I should have realized I wasn't actually "holding" 20 separate spawners at once, though!
I guess I was thinking of a virus, taking over a cell to make more virus instead of more cells... so I was expecting that the "spawners" were the ones making the antibodies, and that capturing them might (in some later version of the game) allow you to have it make more of you instead. Thinking about it more, maybe "capturing spawners" could determine how quickly some kind of "viral load" bar progresses? So when one "flips back," it's not a total reset. Just an idea!
Expanding pathways: My idea there was that any new pathway opened would be permanently opened, even if your score decreased afterwards! Maybe it opens the second you hit the threshold, or maybe you have to arrive at the barrier with the correct score to break it down. The better you play, the more quickly you can hit the next threshold and move onto a more efficient loop. (But that's my bias for games where routing/refining is involved.)
Map: Since you mentioned the "you feel small in a large space" feeling, I think that's a good point and a good feeling to try to capture! And yeah, just having a nice map/mini-map of the area may detract from it. What about a button that lets you zoom way far out? That could help showcase how small you are, maybe? A persistent mini-map might end up trivializing the exploration / learning aspect of the game... whereas being able to get a glimpse of the larger surrounding area might help a player who's willing to spend the time zooming out get a sense of how everything fits together?
I'm glad you found my comments useful!! I hope you find mechanics that you're really happy with!!
Oh, hm, it seems to be working fine for me and the people I've sent it to. It sounds like you may be encountering a permissions issue? Twine (or maybe just the Sugarcube framework I'm using) saves to local memory for things like settings and save files, so if something prevents Twine from doing that, it could cause a storage error. Maybe check your plug-ins or cookies settings?
Could you paste the exact error for me? I'm nearly positive the error isn't specific to my game, but I can do a quick check.
Edit: I took a quick look around, and yeah, the most likely culprit is that you're blocking cookies. If you'd like, try allowing cookies for this page and see if that fixes the issue!
> what would you like to see in a module/extension system for bitsy?
Beyond that, having checkboxes to include the mods collected at seleb/bitsy-hacks would be incredible. I want to try wild things with Bitsy, but the process of having to download a game, paste in the mod code, test it locally and then make edits in-browser is a killer when it comes to trying to experiment.
Thank you so much! I'm super excited to hear you're working on a module/extension system!!
I'm having trouble leaving the cage -- I can climb up the stick, but it doesn't seem like there's a way out from there? And I can see some kind of latch on the ceiling on the other side, but I can't figure out a place where I can actually hit it with my tongue. What am I missing?
Looks like a cute start! I feel like you have something very potentially interesting with how "capturing" spawners works, even without any kind of "spawning" mechanic yet -- it seems like trying to figure out efficient "loops" to maximize how many you have captured at once before any revert back to "uncaptured" could be an interesting puzzle. Maybe hitting a certain score threshold permanently unlocks new paths, allowing for better and better loops over time?
Do you have any plans to make "sneezing" a game mechanic, or is that more of a "reward" for capturing enough spawners?
The one thing I really longed for was some kind of map or mini-map, to help me plan out routes.
Adorable art style, too! The how-to-play screen is really cute.
Good luck with your plans!!
Cute idea, and I always like to see what people do with concepts like this! I think it could definitely use some refinement, though:
My biggest issue is that it assumes a cis, straight couple, when it feels like it would be relatively easy to make that adjustable. Checkboxes for what body parts you have / would like to be involved would make the game way more inclusive. (If pronouns are used anywhere in the game, then this should come with a pronoun picker as well.)
I also noticed some of the girl's prompts had her doing something to herself in a way that didn't seem intentional (e.g. "[girl], caress [girl]'s foot for 9 seconds"). Also, none of the prompts involving "eye" turned out sexy -- maybe there's someone out there with an "let your partner bite your eye" fetish, but I'm going to pass on that, personally.
This is a super minor nitpick, but UI-wise, the sideways timer makes no sense. Neither player is reading the screen from the side, even on a mobile device. There was also a five-second timer on a "[boy], [girl] will suggest a dare" prompt even though the prompt didn't mention a timer. There was also a misspelling of "eyebrow" / "eyebrows".
Seems like there's some potential here, but it's not there yet -- the big one is definitely not assuming a player's body parts or gender, but beyond that: letting players pick the rate at which the dares ramp up, what body parts and kinks are involved, maybe trying to work in other mechanics (like letting a player choose a spicier dare for a reward) to make things more dynamic.
Good luck in your future work, whether on this game or something new!
Oh my gosh! I'd be delighted to have you use my game. I'd rather not post my personal email publicly -- could you provide me with your email address? Alternatively, you can DM me on Twitter: @opaopa13. Let me know if either of those options work for you!
Preordered on a whim, extremely glad I did. Every level is so SATISFYING to get right -- somehow I got the final level on my first try, and had to go back for the 3rd one which took nearly a half-dozen tries??
Good luck with your development, I can't wait to see where this goes!
Thank you!! I'd say Toyle is respectful of boundaries when he's aware of them, he just manages to be oblivious... a lot. Here, he's definitely not offering the best kind of support, but his intentions really are good (if not pure).
And thank you again! I was really uncertain of this piece, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.