My bad, I misread. Was visualizing alkonosts as feathery dwarves :D.
And nah I don't see your writing as lacking or flawed. It's great. I was just thinking of what helped immerse me in previous books. Everyone's different though :)
mfors4s
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Friend recommended, made an account just to review it <3. -Spoilers ahead?>
I loved the direction of the plot. It didn't feel hurried but you get a lot in the first chapter and enough to leave you curious. That's good writing, IMHO. I can see in what general direction you're going with the mystery but I've never read a story in this environment. It's fresh. One thing, I suppose this is a personal preference with the five senses, but I've noticed the Protagonist comments mostly on visual aspects (save for the coffee sampling). Which is usually fine but I remember all the hand grabbing after the dates and in my head I'm screaming "WHAT DO THEIR HANDS EVEN FEEL LIKE" (ex. Elsie's either feels super furry or like peach fuzz, Niko's feels like leather or scaly, idk). Even after the drinking games with the protagonist and loveinterest, I kept wondering how is what's happening bw them possible? Isn't he like half her size? Do they all share similar anatomical structures to humans? Although that's treading on R18 content. Which if you decided to sell as an extra separately, I would happily purchase.
There was a comment about ballet somewhere in there and I remember thinking "But idk what his feet look like".
What else... oh, would you possibly add more hairstyles in the future?
Thank you, beautiful work xoxo