You're welcome. I think someone should try making this an actual mod for Smash Ultimate....
hahanoidontdousernames
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A member registered Feb 01, 2022
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Hey, playing this game gave me a great idea:
Have you ever heard of this game called Super Smash Bros. Ultimate? If so, guess who I wish was in Smash Ultimate? That's right, New Guy from your game. Now let me discuss his each and every move:
NEW GUY Puts the Hardcore in Corporation!
Entrance animation = Jumps in the general direction of the screen from a computer desk chair. The chair, the desk, and the computer all disappear at the same time right afterwards.
Walking animation = Based on the walk cycle of those red guys in the background of this webpage.
Running animation = Based on Run Like a Ninja.
Jumping animation = Self-explanatory.
Neutral attack = Slap, Karate Chop, 100 Palm Punch, and Karate Strike (in sequence).
Up tilt tap = Swings one of two items overhead. The two items are a coffee mug and a knife, and each use of this attack alternates between the two.
Up tilt hold = Uppercut
Side tilt tap = Hammer
Side tilt hold = Axe
Down tilt tap = A crouching variant of Jump Kick.
Down tilt hold = A crouching variant of Forward Kick.
Dash attack tap = Elbow Slam
Dash attack hold = Street Sweeper (press the A button a second time in quick succession to execute the "bicycle kick" part of the move)
Up smash = Shoryuken
Side smash = Thunder Clap
Down smash = Helicopter Kick
Neutral air = Spin Punch
Up air = Bicycle Kick
Forward air = Fly Kick
Back air = Turns around and does a Leap Punch in quick succession.
Down air = Ground Slam
Ledge attack = Drop Kick
Get-up attack = Chief Gyming Officer/Chief Catering Officer/Zombie Horde Leader's slamdown counterattack.
Grab = Animation taken from Strangle. You can only grab an opponent if your arm-nub (hand) actually touches them; however, once you grab that opponent, their position will instantly shift to the right or the left (depending on which way you're facing) and then up a little bit and then they'll suffer Force Choke. The pummel/grab attack is basically self explanatory.
Up throw = Levitates the opponent; based on Levitate Objects.
Forward throw = Stampede Kick
Back throw = Throws the opponent backwards in the style of Human Projectiles.
Down throw = New Guy jumps up towards the opponent and then performs Earthquake. This buries the main opponent, trips nearby opponents, and deals damage to EXTREMELY nearby opponents.
Up taunt = Brag's animation.
Side taunt = Yells "No Appointment!".
Down taunt = Normal Punch
Idle animation = From time to time, New Guy looks at his arm as if he's wearing a watch.
All dodges except for spot dodge & nondirectional air dodge = Teleport (unfortunately does not stun or trip anyone in Smash).
Neutral special = Its name is "Multitasking". Has multiple moves, each getting used in a sequential order. The move you're going to use is indicated by the icon on New Guy's HUD. The moves (in order) are: Delivery Parcel/Mail Bomb*, Shuriken/Hadoken*, Drink Coffee/Drink Redbull*, Staple Gun/Taser Gun*, Mob Justice (trips opponents in front of you and summons 2 exact clones of you that follow your each and every move; the clones are next to you on each side and they last for 3 seconds; you can't use Neutral B or Down B [Shield Special if Kirby uses this] while the clones are out), Mind Attack (summons a shockwave that dizzifies grounded enemies & stuns airborne enemies), Pontificate (obviously puts opponents to sleep; can't affect airborne opponents but has a wider ground range than Mind Attack), Gun Charge (a chargeable move; charge levels are Gun, Machine Gun, then Mini Gun; you shoot when you release the button), Get Swole (you aren't invincible but your attack and defense are doubled for 3 seconds), You're Fired/Downsizing* (sets an opponent or multiple opponents [depending on the charge] on fire for a little while), Serious Punch (deals damage to the opponent right in front of you and makes a windbox rush forward that pushes back opponents that are a bit farther away), and finally Banana Toss (a clone of Diddy Kong's Down B). When a move is executed with this, it can't be used again until 3 other moves have been used. This effect resets when New Guy gets KO'd. Moves marked with a * can be charged; they start out as option 1 when you press the button, and if you hold the button down it increases the move's attack power until finally it becomes option 2.
Side special = Its name is "4-Way Marathon". On the ground, it's Chainsaw if you tap the button and Clothesline if you hold it. In the air, it's Cannon Ball the first time, Torpedo the second, and you can't use it again until after you've touched the ground, and by then it'll reset back to Cannon Ball (this includes times when you use Cannon Ball but not Torpedo).
Up special = Its name is "Fart Egg Mayo/Glue Gun". The first time you use it (no matter if you're on the ground or in the air), it's Fart Egg Mayo. The second or further time you use it (while you're still airborne), it's Glue Gun, but not how you'd expect - in Smash, the way New Guy uses the glue gun is actually a clone of Byleth's Up B (except you wall cling if you hit a wall with this move.). After you've touched the ground, the effect resets back to Fart Egg Mayo.
Down special = Its name is "Secret Stash"; however, it doesn't work exactly like it does in the original Stick it to the Stickman. When you use this move, you enter a stance, and arrows appear on either side of the move label on your HUD. These arrows indicate that you can cycle forward or backward through your Neutral B moves. When cycling through your Neutral B moves, New Guy performs the Secret Stash animation, which goes either direction depending on if you're going forward or backward in the Neutral B arsenal. Moves that you cannot use are marked with an X, and a number appears above them. The number that appears above a move indicates how many Neutral B moves other than that one need to be used until that one can be used again. If you want to stop cycling through your Neutral B moves, you can press B to exit the stance and continue fighting as usual.
Shield special = We'll just call it "Black Hole + Serious Side Hop", since shield specials aren't really made that prominent in-game (or at least they don't really have an official name). Hence the name we gave it for now, New Guy performs Black Hole and Serious Side Hop at the same time. This means that he teleports to the side and stomps with both feet, which trips opponents in front of him. In the process, he leaves behind a black hole that sucks nearby opponents in, leaving them open to attacks for a while. If they're not launched out of the black hole before it disappears, they just fall flat on the ground.
Final Smash = Its name is "Axe Gang Onslaught". When this move is activated, New Guy yells "YOU'RE FIRED!" and rushes forward. If he hits any opponents, they're sent to a cinematic that takes place in Financial Offices. In this cinematic, the Axe Gang gangs up on the caught opponents and starts slashing at them, dealing a lot of damage in the process. The caught opponents get launched after the cinematic, just like most other cinematic Final Smashes.
Dizzy animation = Based on the "under the effect of Mind Attack" animation (which makes it make extra sense that Mind Attack makes opponents dizzy in Smash Ultimate).
Sleeping animation = Based on the "under the effect of Pontificate" animation.
Superspicy Curry animation = Based on the "on fire" animation; also he screams right when he eats Superspicy Curry.
Riding Kapp'n's bus animation = Based on the "sitting at a desk" animation.
The ladder climbing physics are also copied directly from the original SITTSM.
Frozen pose = Based on the "Clumsy Enemies" icon.
Boxing Ring title = "The Corporate Ladder Climber". However, there is a very small chance for it to instead say, "You're Fired!".
Reaction to non-flower poison = While idle, New Guy will be coughing like an enemy caught in a fart cloud.
Reaction to Hero's Kamikazee = No face; however, he does scream.
Freefall animation = Only accessible via PAC-MAN's Pac-Jump; the animation is based on when an enemy is knocked down and is falling.
Perfect shield animation = Ponder's animation.
Reaction to Joker's Final Smash = Self-explanatory, up until the giant "Show's Over" star appears and slices New Guy. When that happens, New Guy will be sent flying in slowmo in the background, and if the Final Smash ends the battle, the sound that plays when you defeat Jeff Bezos (including the "you can't fire me, I quit") overdubs all other sounds and music, and the "Game!" doesn't show up. Afterwards, Joker's special victory screen will go on as usual.
Reaction to Wario's Final Smash = Self-explanatory except for the end part; you can see him vomiting as he gets blown away by Wario-Man's finishing fart.
All other animations are self-explanatory.
(too lazy to spend time on writing Snake's Codec and Palutena's Guidance for New Guy)
Skins (in order): blue (default), purple, red, gray, yellow, green, orange, white.
Kirby Hat: Jeff Bezos' top hat, but blue. Since Kirby's Copy Abilities don't change his down special, Secret Stash is his shield special instead.
Victory screen pre-explanation: Right when a timed match ends, or when the last fighter gets KO'd in a stock/stamina match, the sound that plays when you defeat Jeff Bezos (including the "you can't fire me, I quit") plays and prevents "Game!" or "Time!" from showing up. Right afterwards, the Stick it to the Stickman ending theme plays, even a bit before the victory screen shows up. (In case you're wondering, New Guy's victory theme is that music.) The same goes for Spirit Battles except that the SITTSM ending theme doesn't play at all.
Victory screen 1: While saying "you can't fire me, I quit", New Guy acts as if he's pointing at a crowd from one side to the other, then he puts his hands onto his hips.
Victory screen 2: New Guy starts out sleeping at a desk, then wakes up and screams right as the camera zooms in on him.
Victory screen 3: New Guy, running like a ninja, is chased down by an enemy. When the enemy gets close, New Guy farts and the enemy vomits and falls dead.
Special victory screen: Much like Joker, New Guy has a special victory screen for when he wins the match by using his Final Smash. When the last opponent in a match is KO'd solely by New Guy's Final Smash, the last slash from the Axe Gang will send the opponent flying out the window, and as the special SITTSM match end sound effects ensue, the camera flies up to the rooftop, and it shows New Guy up there with the CEO top hat standing strong with his hands on his hips in pride. The victory screen overlay elements get added soon enough afterwards. If this happens in a Spirit Battle, the Final Smash animation instead freezes at the end, and the "fire the spirit gun" screen stuff will ensue.
Other fighter attributes: Can wall jump and wall cling (when he wall clings, the "stick to wall" sound effect will play). New Guy's physics are made to more closely match the original Stick it to the Stickman's physics (i.e. ragdoll mechanics/physics; whenever he gets hit/falls flat/takes any sort of damage including poison or impact including Screen KO, he flashes for a split second and damage dealt, if any, will be displayed as a number right next to New Guy; if he gets KO'd in stamina mode his body will fade to dark gray and he will make a death noise; if he's hit while invulnerable/invincible, the "tiny metal clang of invulnerability" sound will play and he will flash white; etc.). Aside from the Neutral B move display, New Guy also has a certain number right next to his HUD: his combo. It works the same way as in the original game: as New Guy lands more attacks in a row, his attacks start to deal more damage, and it resets back to 0 when he misses an attack.
Stage: Its name is "Financial Offices". It takes place on 4 floors of the Financial Offices building, each floor being a different one. To KO opponents, you will need to break the windows so that you can throw them out. From time to time, a wave of employees or an Upper Management member will enter, all of which fighters can get extra KOs out of.
Mii Fighter costumes: Jeff Bezos Hat & Outfit (Brawler), Head of Sanitation Hat & Outfit (Swordfighter), Security Officer Hat & Outfit (Gunner).
CLASSIC MODE ROUTE
Name: "Climb That Corporate Ladder!"
Summary: This is a reference to every time you fight in the Financial Offices in the original SITTSM, specifically all of the bosses you will encounter (alongside the Axe Gang). Each round's fighters will represent the boss(es) its respective floor has. Not only that, but the rounds will also include the pre-boss enemies that come before said floor (you know, the "No Appointment!" guys), with the exception of the Axe Gang round. All 7 rounds will take place on Financial Offices, the final one using the Ω form of the stage.
Round 1: You will fight New Guy (red costume & small), Mii Swordfighter (wearing Head of Sanitation hat & outfit), Zero Suit Samus (red suit), and Mii Brawler (bald w/glasses; wearing Jeff Bezos Outfit with no headgear.)
Round 2: You will fight a Horde Battle against several New Guys (all red), that ends in the following combination of fighters: New Guy (red costume), New Guy (small & red costume), 2 Captain Falcons (red costume), Incineroar (default red), and New Guy (large & red costume).
Round 3: You will fight 2 New Guys (red), a Giant Mii Gunner (wearing Security Officer hat & outfit), and a Giant Ganondorf (costume w/the most red in it).
Round 4: This is the round representing the Axe Gang. This is a Horde Battle against red New Guys, all of them wielding Ore Clubs (the closest item to an axe that I could find) except one.
Round 5: You will fight 2 Jokers (both red) and a red Sheik.
Round 6: You will fight 3 red King K. Rools (one of them being giant).
Bonus Game: Self-explanatory.
Final Round: You will fight several red New Guys and a Mii Brawler (wearing Jeff Bezos hat & outfit).
Other information: If New Guy is using the red costume, all of the New Guys you fight against will instead be gray.
(Too lazy to provide details on Spirit Battles, I very deeply apologize ;-; well this comment was getting a bit too long anyways lmao)
Ok? Hope you understand everything I said.
I love this game and I own it! The only downside of this game is that I can't really play it all the time due to the fact that sometimes I have to let other people use the only computer with high-enough specs to run it well (even on "I have a weak PC" mode), which can get very annoying sometimes. The most viable solution to this problem IMO would be if you were to release this game for console for free (Switch, PS5, you name it).
TL;DR please put this on console. also make it so this game is rated T at highest because I have parents that dont let me play M rated games. if the ESRB sees this game as it is and rates it M, please change the console version so it doesn't have what causes its M rating as specified by ESRB. (for example you should probably change "Sn*rt C*caine" to something like "Ultimate Power Drink" idk.)
OK? Hope you understand