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101Shades

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A member registered Jan 21, 2021 · View creator page →

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Okay, as much as I'd like to love the visual novel, the writing style is just not it for me. I get "white room" in between character dialogues and the narrative, the prose itself doesn't feel strong or evocative, especially in the scenes with slow pacing. I think the pacing definitely could be fixed to be faster than it is and the writing style could be improved. Some just feel too slow and boring. The art for the background and the characters meet my expectations well. The music is also atmospheric. Overall the writing just needs quite a bit of work.

So far characterization is really well done so far. 

 However, I'm still in Chapter 4 and my thoughts are subject to change. 

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I really love the prose and the characterization of all these characters! They're so amazing!!! I'm genuinely hyped when the real game comes out.

Some things as of now, like the music and some art, are placeholders until the official game comes out. So I won't comment on that. 

BUT THE WRITING. HOOOOOLY SHIT the writing! It's phenomenal and immersive, and amazingly paints the world and the protagonist well. Even in the slow scenes, I'm still *hooked* in reading. It's like a visual novel written by a novelist, and that's a great thing. Definitely the author's writing style I believe is one of, if not THE best main selling point about Catalyst:Blind Faith. I hardly give comments like these often, but I know good writing when I see one. 

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cringe

SUPER CUTE!!!!

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CW: // Contains Spoilers

Something about the story's narrative voice just bores me and I find that it doesn't become as immersive later on into the story. I don't think the problem inherently lies in the 2nd POV, but rather how the voice shows the details in the story. In short, there is A LOT of 'telling' than 'showing'. 

I find the lack of actions in between pieces of dialogue troublesome... and blank-ish for the lack of a better word. 

Katan as a protagonist... he seems to be quite dichotomic as a character, but I digress.

That doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like the VN. I'he had quite the enjoyable experienc for the most part.

Edit: Actually I find the characterization of Ramos to sometimes not really make sense. At some point, I recall Katan saying that he plans to pawn off the sword his uncle and aunt gave him for money, but when Ramos asked to sell it, he's hesitant all of a sudden. 

I also find that he's quite ignorant for a prince. Somehow, he barely knows anything about Farhoron. Isn't he supposed to at least know more about it than stories because he is taught all these sorts of things, otherwise he wouldn't really be a good prince, would he? 

There were also some character inconsistencies like when Ramos declined some stuff such as sleeping in Renee's old child's bed because he didn't want to be indebted. I found it weird because he was the same person who didn't hesitate to take the money and find the booze. 

There were also some errors in grammar, sometimes. This becomes further evident later into the story. While they aren't to the point that the text no longer becomes understandable, I find them to be a bother to my pedantic self.

I played this VN months ago, and I decided to come back to this now to see its progress. I was really surprised at how there was a complete rewrite of the entire story, and not to mention there was barely any progress from where I left. 

Okay, um... you're going to barely progress this way (mostly as a writer) if you keep on doing this. 

I'd like to say that the VN is kind of 90% dialogue and 10% narration to me. (Whether this is good or bad, I don't know. This is a visual novel, and so, the art, images, and sfx already satisfy the reader when they read.)

To me, the narration or writing style felt more plot-driven or straight-forward.  Of course, I still found the flowery language that's present. 

Jayce's childish and goofy nature is really  evident throughout the entire story.  Maccon's character  gives off  'big daddy' vibes (asides from the external looks). John is the naughty kind of boy while David has the enigmatic, quiet troublemaker trope I guess. As for Tom, eh, he's more of a friendly brother, I guess? 

Personally, there were scenes that I found quite boring or slow, not much going on and kind of meh. 

I've yet to go to the other routes, so I don't really have all that much to say. 

Overall, I don't hate it. The best advice I have to say is, to literally just keep on going. Don't rewrite again unless you're finished or you have something that fundamentally changes the story. It can be bothersome to the readers, but hey, it's your story. 

7/10 I really appreciate the concept of using dices. It's fun, strategic, and unique. The enemies in the game are also really nice. The game's not too hard, but it just gets repetitive for a while. I also hope for a little story in the game (albeit I didn't finish all of the levels) but I overall found the game pretty nice!

My thoughts and criticisms

The worldbuilding of the story is really well done, that I can say. I also appreciate the characterization especially with characters like Harren and Jymsar. 

The art is also a fresh thing to see, but I can't help but notice that in earlier parts of the story, Alen pretty much has this same expression. Either that or I am blind. The music is also really nice to hear. You can feel its ominous and eery vibes sometimes and more than often, it's calming to hear. 

The writing style personally feels decent, but boring. I feel as if it would be nice if we could see a bit more showing rather than telling, though to be fair, things are different with books and visual novels. 

I also find it boring how Alen becomes this info dump character who tells Reamus everything about magic. While telling the audience of info about your world is important, doing it too much may sometimes cause the readers to be bored out of it. Some of the information presented isn't even utilized properly (such as the scene about the sigils and their shapes and what they mean.) Instead of creating a captivating experience for the readers, info dumps like this often cause the story to be some quite ~interesting~ lecture instead ( or something). 

As for the MC (or Reamus), though it's just my opinion, I'd like to see him characterized a bit further than the simple nice guy in the story who's interested in magic. It's nice to get to see his thoughts over on dialogue, but I hope to see Reamus of being his own unique character.

These are all my opinions, though. Please take it all with a grain of salt, but I also hope it helps a bit. 

Also more pics of reamus please thanks jk