I do... so many..., but at least I can say I alone am the reason for how I feel in this sense...
Sometimes I dive too deep, but there does seem to be a difference when it is done upon oneself, when you know it is your own darkness.
It seems to keep it from being a struggle, and letting oneself rise ack to surface, from comfort of knowing it your owns fears.
I wouldn't be surprised if its the only thing keeping me sane and from feeing rock bottom all the time.
Oy... does the night ever bring about my most abstract thoughts.