Post by Espoir Du Vide in Bitter/Sweet Blythe comments

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THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm really at a loss for words after reading this!! (and slightly tearing up!)

I was able to download the soundtrack right before I found your message. I went to back to the game page because I really didn't notice my name was in the credits and saw the soundtrack was available since I did pay for the game days ago. I was very excited to have these songs to listen to on my own, and they are even more beautiful and chilling then I realized!! I also hunted down Phonobabble to hear their other work and they are just as amazing!

And please take your time watching my videos, sometimes it takes me a whole week to watch some other videos and plus I've started making them longer to avoid cliff hangers♪

And yup, I PLAY VNs, edit my own videos, draw, and make a games as well. The only thing I haven't tried is making music, haha. I'm working on the sequel/follow up game to PPB called PPB:Reboot where you can date the other other guys who were "deleted" in the first game. I have a pretty hefty demo up but there's still a lot I need to draw for it.

I've said it so many times but I'll say it again, this game was a truly memorable experience! If you haven't checked him out, EPYKSLION is a similar youtuber whose been a good friend to me and even he was excited that I finally played it!

Keep up the amazing work and remember to take breaks as well!

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago(+1)

Ahh, fair enough! In that case, even more thanks are in order for the fact that you supported the game here too!! So thank youuuuu ^-^

I'm totally not addicted to trying to make music now x3 ahem. Would be better if I could play an instrument, but still, I can't deny that ever since I discovered making music using samples was a thing, I have been like a kid in a candy shop xD because I genuinely didn't know sample-based music was a thing until about 2021 despite now being 31 >.< I always just thought that everyone who made music had either recorded all the sounds themselves or paid someone else to do it via a commission or something!

I really need to listen to some of Phonobabble's other work too! I still haven't managed to yet, but it's on my (ridiculously long) to-do list because, as you say, they're an absolutely incredible actor :3

As my brother frequently reminds me, I never give myself enough time to do non-dev stuff x3 over the years, attempting to make VNs kinda absorbed almost all of the time I used to spend playing games >.< and I know I need to give myself more breaks to actually enjoy playing stuff more often, but I struggle with doing that in a way that doesn't make me feel guilty about slow progress on projects. I started Fire Emblem Three Houses well over a year ago and still haven't finished it for that reason xD I've completed one house route, and only about halfway through another >.< I think the dev stuff is one of those addictive hobbies that has gotten waaaaay out of control x3 cos both my friends, and family (and also a therapist at one point) have said that it's not normal to spend so much time on one hobby and they wish I'd have more breaks, haha. I am trying to change that cos there's a lot I want to do that isn't dev-related! It's just taking time to change x3

But yeah, I forgot to even mention the fact that it must take you quite some time to edit your videos together! I really struggle with video editing, so have to admire anyone who manages to make awesome vids like yours :3 And even though I'm by no means an expert, I feel like you can really tell you've put a tonne of passion and hard work into your videos! Same goes for PPB ^-^

I saw the stuff about PPB: Reboot, and I have to admit, got excited, haha. I was trying to play everything that was involved in the male yandere showdown on tumblr a while back cos I thought I'd give myself permission to have a nice yandere gaming binge since I'd just finished yan jam! But then that rare break I gave myself got cut short in the end by my arm getting broken >.< cos then I couldn't really manage to play anything properly once it was in the cast, and cos I couldn't do much of anything while it was healing up, it meant that by the time the cast was off, I felt like I had to get straight back into doing dev stuff again because I was so behind. It was like the worst kind of forced break that was useless because I didn't even get to chill and play games x3 I did binge His Dark Materials TV version though while healing, so it wasn't 100% bad, haha. The point is though, I still have soooo many things to play on my itch list alone, and then I've got my non-itch games backlog too T_T I need like a full year's break from dev stuff to make a dent in either one x3

I realise now that I have practically committed a crime because I looked up Epykslion and realised that I did, in fact, watch the playthrough that he did of Bitter/Sweet after someone recommended it to me! But it was while my arm was still broken and I couldn't get on my PC, so I watched it on our downstairs TV from my brother's PS4 YouTube app, which has no one signed into it, and I even told myself, once I get back on my PC, I must remember to go and like and subscribe from my account, but me being the forgetful numpty that I am, didn't remember to do that T_T I have now gone and rectified that!! So thank you for reminding me x3 Actually, watching that really cheered me up when I was feeling crappy. Both of you are fantastic at what you do ^-^

Keep up the amazing work yourself! And look after yourself too :3 I shall cheer you on from afar with little pom poms! x3

Espoir Du Vide1 year ago(+1)

If I can, I try to support each game that I play on my channel and I'm happy to see all the wonderful worlds, characters, and stories people have inside them!

Ah making music through samples, I forgot about that. Does that mean clips of music or a sample of an instrument? Making music is still something I'd like to learn but maybe when there's not so much on my plate.

I can fully understand getting absorbed in a hobby, and I'm one who hops around hobbies (but always went back to drawing). Making videos feels that way too, I'm really obsorbed in it, but unfortunately I don't give myself much time to play games for myself. Definitely give yourself BREAKS! What helps me (because I believe I have ADHD) is, I'll set a timer for 30minutes or 1 hour and absolutely focus on video editing, and when that timer is up I'll let myself do anything else for as long as I want . What usually happens is I'll either have the energy to keep working or I'll actually relax.

But I've definitely found how important taking breaks and putting hobby/work aside for a while it! Me, personally, I don't think it's weird to stay on one hobby, unless that's something you as a person don't usually do. In fact I'd think having one hobby is what most people do anyway, and game development is definitely a cool and diverse one! Of course it's great to try new and different stuff too, you never know what you'll be great at!

I think I started really editing videos in 2021 and have improved a lot since the first videos on my channel! What helps is watching other videos and how they do their timings, and edits, and such. Even now I'd still consider myself a beginner. But each video does take about an entire 1-2 days to edit if their an hour long haha.

I'm so sorry about your arm, I hope it's healing well! And thank YOU for your support and kind words!

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago(+1)

Well, that's super duper sweet of you :3 There are so many amazing creatives out there that I wish I could support too, but I just don't have enough funds to do it >.<

I'm definitely no expert on sample-based music, so I couldn't really say, but I feel like maybe it's both of those things? x3 I've seen a few threads about people who sample music by popular artists and such, and that really confused me cos that's very different from what I'm doing, haha. I've just got a giant library of loops and samples that were created specifically for music production. Some of em are live recordings of instruments, others are samples of virtual instruments, and then some are sounds created by other means on a computer. The majority of the ones I have are loops that are labeled with their original pitch and temp to make it easier to sort through everything. Some of em are more like just SFX and atmospheres though. I just piece stuff together in layers like a big musical jigsaw, haha. For example, I just opened up my files for the Bitter/Sweet theme (vocal version) and a rough count looks like I've used around 36 different loops/samples including all the vocals.

More recently I've been editing the loops and stuff that I own, adding different FX to em, and changing the original recorded sound. It's heaps of fun, but also time just kinda flies by without me realising it when I get stuck into it xD I could really do with a proper external hard drive to keep all that sort of thing on cos it's reached a point now where it's slowing down my PC, haha.

I know what you mean anyhow cos I'm always coming across different things I'd love to try and learn, but I dunno where to find the time to actually dedicate to it, haha. Video editing is definitely one of those things!

Yeah, I tend to hop around hobbies too, but a few have stuck around :3 Trying to make VNs is definitely one of the longer-lived ones! I'm getting better at the breaks thing, sort of x3 I really should try harder to do what you said though, and set timers! It's something I gave a go at in the past, but I didn't stick to it very well and didn't give it much of a chance >.< Starting next week, I think I'll try again!

Funnily enough, I've been told by a few people that they think I have ADHD as well, haha. It never really occurred to me cos I didn't know that much about it, and I always just assumed that it only involved difficulty concentrating on stuff, but a therapist mentioned to me that it can be the other way around too, attention that's too focused to the point it becomes unhealthy. She reckoned that I likely have it, but some of the symptoms are masked by my ASD. I've not gone down the route of pursuing a diagnosis though cos it takes forever to get those things sorted here + she said she thinks it would be extremely difficult to actually tell whether it's that or something else. She just knows that I have problems related to attention and concentration.

I guess it's not so much that it's one main hobby that was starting to cause concern for my therapist and family, but more the amount of time I was spending each day engaging in it >.< It was something that got brought up during a jam though, so I can understand them saying it's unhealthy to work on a project for like 15-17 hours a day, but I knew I was only gonna be working like that for 1 month. Outside of jams, my pace on projects is much, much slower cos I mean, jam mode just isn't sustainable x3 The thing was that they didn't particularly like the idea of me working like that for just a month either, haha. It's really hard not to though if I get into it because I have so much fun that even if it looks insane to people looking in, I'm generally having a blast and don't feel the impact of it too much until I eventually go back to normal, and that's when it all catches up to me and hits me like a truck >.<

When I'm not doing jams though, I make sure to stay away from my PC most weekends + for a good few hours in the evening to spend time with my family :3 And I like going out for walks in nature and stuff. The main thing I need to do is learn to switch off from working on project stuff on weekdays and give myself a chance to play things. It's just so hard to do that without feeling guilty though. Even though I decided to stop setting myself targets and goals, I still generally feel dissatisfied with my progress on projects most days!

Well, I did manage to finish watching that particular video, and I think you were amazing throughout :3 It takes a LOT to hold my attention when it comes to videos, haha. So the fact that I was thoroughly entertained by your comments and reactions from start to finish goes to show you're brilliant ^-^ I laughed out loud a fair few times, which I don't usually do when I'm watching stuff unless it's stand-up comedy!

I always had pretty weak arms anyways, so now that I'm able to use it again, it feels like it's practically back to normal :D Hope you get to have yourself a lovely week ahead :3

Espoir Du Vide1 year ago(+1)

Reading how you use samples reminds me of a playstation 2 game I "played" a long time ago called "Magix Music Maker". That was the only time I really made any kind of music and have been looking for a program where I could do that. If you don't mind me asking, what program do you use?

I'll admit about the timers, I do cheat and let myself get distracted for a while, but that's all part of learning. Once you try it a few times, eventually you'll be able to really use them to focus!

I'm actually really interested in mental health and I love learning about it. It really wasn't talked about when I was little and I probably had one or the other back then. Funny enough, I've always had trouble reading and doing these videos reading VNs has helped me a lot!

I am super impressed by the games that come out for jams!! Even a month is a super short amount of time to me! I'd love to participate in one someday but I don't have that kind of energy. After finishing a jam you should definitely treat yourself to a long break!

And that's really good to spend time away from your computer. I , too, have to turn everything off and go for a walk sometimes. As for feeling guilty when you're not working... I do that too, haha! If I'm not editing I should be working on a game, if I'm not doing that I should drawing or learning a new skill, or looking for a better job. But I keep reminding myself that living is not working till you're tired, sometimes doing nothing IS doing something.

Thank you so much for watching my video! My favorite part is the utter betrayal from Orange Blythe, I honestly didn't expect him to take "Azul's" side. And I got a comment from "Azul's" voice actor too! Their voice work is equally amazing and terrifying! I also have a short attention span and use that while I edit to make sure I can hold my own attention, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I'll do my best!

Melancholy Marionette1 year ago

Oh, man, that brings back memories x3 I didn't know you could get Magix on PS2, but I did spend a lot of time messing around on MTV Music Generator 3 on my PS2 back in the day!

For all my recent OSTs, I've just used Audacity and the free/trial version of FLStudio (cos it's so darn expensive >.<) I feel like I should probably look into other options, but I was already using Audacity for editing SFX and voice actor recordings, so it just felt natural to use it for music too and dip into FLStudio as needed (cos you can't save projects in the trial version T_T)

Bitter/Sweet's OST and DD's few original tracks were the first two that I did using mainly loops & samples that I've purchased on sale – both made in Audacity.

Dawn of the Damned and The Graveyard's Shift's OSTs consist mostly of totally free loops from the amazing folks at Looperman, and again, all done in Audacity.

Buuuuuut, going back to 2021 when I first started trying to make soundtracks for my stuff, I used Magix Music Maker, haha. So it's still alive and kicking! I only found out about it because I happened to grab the EDM edition or something as part of a Humble Bundle, and it included a voucher for a few soundpools, so I figured I'd check it out and see if I could get anything made with it, haha. So it was MMM that I used to make Apartment No.9 and Limbo Line's OSTs. Well, Limbo Line's was more half-done in MMM with their soundpools + half done in Audacity with some of the other loops and samples I owned outside of MMM.

Anyways, I believe there's a free version of MMM if you ever fancied messing around with it again :3 https://www.magix.com/gb/music/music-maker/

The main reasons I stopped using it were:

A – Once I'd gotten the hang of it, it felt a bit restrictive At the time, it wouldn't allow you to change the tempo of the whole track or the loops. In the version I owned, you were limited to only 8 layers/instruments per track, with the option to upgrade to a (what I deemed too expensive) pro/premium version.

B – Soundpools were kind of expensive.

C – Anything you made using the software/samples/loops from their soundpools was strictly for personal/non-commercial use only, with the (extremely expensive) option to purchase commercial use per soundpool.

So yeah, when I realised I could build tracks in essentially the same sort of way, but less restricted, I figured I might as well carry on in Audacity and use non-MMM samples and loops because there are plenty of places out there selling loops with commercial use allowed for waaaaaay cheaper than what they are from MMM. For example, one MMM soundpool said it would cost £75 for commercial use on it rather than just personal, but elsewhere, you can get packs with commercial use allowed of equal quality and total files for more like £15-£30. And many of the artists who submit loops for free on Looperman say you can use them in your commercial tracks as long as you give them a mention somehow!

Oh, aaaand, MMM had a habit of crashing on me too, which was extremely irritating as it never autosaved projects >.<

Maybe some of the stuff above has changed though since I stopped using it at the end of 2021! Another thing I really didn't like about it though is how frequently they released new versions of it, but if you had purchased the premium version, you didn't get a free upgrade or anything, even if there weren't many new features, you'd have to buy the new premium version all over again. That really put me off of sinking any money into it. So I just stuck with the stuff that I got as part of the Humble Bundle.

On the plus side, it was extremely user-friendly and the way they organised your soundpools on there made it a cinch to locate what you were looking for, unlike my giant mess of a library that I have accumulated x3 Afaik though, there is free software out there that help you organise your own files in a similar way, I've just yet to actually put aside some time to do that.

I'm glad I discovered it though because it made it possible for someone like me who had no clue wtf they were doing to get started! What I do now in Audacity is pretty much the same as what I was doing with MMM, just with a lot fewer restrictions, but without MMM, I wouldn't have known I could do what I do now in Audacity, haha. Very much like how I started out using Tyranobuilder to make Vns! I don't use it now for various reasons, but if not for that, I doubt I would ever have been able to get into making Vns in the first place because I tried Ren'py and it put me off cos I hated the coding so much x3

Hehe, well, that's fair enough about the timers :3 I still haven't started trying to use them again, but I'm gonna after I send this message or I will keep putting it off, haha.

Same :3 I've always been interested in mental health and psychology in general! Even chose to study psychology at college cos I was considering becoming a therapist as a career option, but also just wanted to know more about how my own brain worked and maybe solve the mystery of my anxiety and depression somehow since, at the time, nothing else was helping xD But yeah, it wasn't talked about when I was little either. All through school, mental health was never even mentioned, and stuff like anxiety and depression were just words that we didn't know. It wasn't until I saw a doctor and a therapist at 16/17 after leaving school that I discovered all that was even a thing! I got slapped with an anxiety and depression diagnosis right away at 16, haha. But back then, autism wasn't something that was discussed, so again, I didn't know that was a thing either, which meant I spent the rest of my teens and pretty much all of my twenties wondering why on earth this anxiety and depression I'd been labelled with never seemed to go away despite all the medications and therapies >.<

I'm glad that there's more awareness surrounding mental health now and that kids at school have a better chance of getting help, but I also wish that there was more help out there for adults like me that had to grow up without any awareness of that sort of stuff and who are still struggling now. I don't know what it's like in other parts of the world, but here in the UK, it seems as though what little funding that does go towards mental health support seems to only get funneled to school-aged kids. So once you pass 16, it's like you're just screwed and left in limbo to fend for yourself :(

That's amazing though that doing the VN videos with all that reading has helped :3 You also do a fantastic job at getting in character as you read too! I really love the clear separation between you being focused on reading lines and then you just being you as you comment on stuff :D

I don't blame ya for not having the energy for jams! I often find myself wondering if I'll be able to muster it x3 I'm pretty sure a day is gonna come where I just can't and I'm gonna have to accept that and step aside, haha. I have a bad feeling it could be this year, but I hope not.

The whole feeling guilty when not working thing seems to be a curse that's afflicting more and more people x3 It's a horrible thing to be gripped by, but you're absolutely right that living is not working until you're tired + that doing nothing is sometimes exactly what you need! I have to keep reminding myself of these things – with varying degrees of success xD

Hehe, yeah, Blythe kinda crumbled pretty fast on that one x3 I really like that you called ol' blue Blythe “Azul” :D And someone else said they refer to the character as “Bluthe”! I feel like both of these names need to be referenced at some point in the route when it's eventually written!! x3 But yeah, Dom's voice acting is indeed quite awesome :3 I had the honour of working with him during last year's Spooktober Jam where he played the grouchy detective Shearsmith in The Graveyard Shift. Since that character was a protagonist, I thought it would be really fun to hear how he played a more villainous role instead :D I think it's safe to say that he absolutely smashed it ^-^

Espoir Du Vide1 year ago(+1)

A mix of Audacity and FL studio? That's such a good idea! One small bit of lore that I think is funny is that the developer for the game LISA and LISA: The Painful only used a trial version of FL studio for all the music.

I've been listening to the Bitter/Sweet OST while I draw and edit and I wouldn't have had any idea, it sounds super professional! So far I think "Captive Company" is my favorite song but they are all so good!

Looperman, I've never heard of that! It looks like an amazing resource and I DO have a Humble Bundle account but I just keep forgetting about it! Someday I'll get into music production so I don't have to rely on a bunch of RPG Maker music packs! And I forgot that MMM was an actual program for the PC, I think I tried it years ago but gave up for some reason, maybe because of the non commercial use thing. I'll have to go over this with my husband, he's the music maker haha.

I'll admit I've only talked to two doctors about my own mental health, I'm still really not sure what I have but I strongly assume it's a mix of autism and ADHD. I'm 100% certain I have anxiety and depression, if only because it was confirmed by a doctor, but a lot of what I've learned about autism and ADHD I learned from TikTok! There's tons of doctors (or at least people with more knowledge than me) and people who live with autism and ADHD talking about how they live and how they feel as well as how they heal. Plus there's so much positivity once you start getting information, like I didn't know what "Masking" was and that I had been doing it! And there's even videos of people our age talking about their experiences.
The whole "Living is not working until your tired" is also something I learned from Tiktok.

That's awful that there's no mental health assistance in the UK, I always thought any healthcare system that wasn't American was always better. I don't really know what help I could even find here but whatever it would be, it's certain to be really expensive.

I really loved "Azul/Bluthe"'s voice, I'd love to check out your game the Graveyard Shift as well. I have a ton of games on my "To Play" list, at least 152 in my Itch. IO collection alone! Hahaha! But I love showing peoples hard work and seeing different art styles. Plus I learned that some people don't even have the means to play these games and some people in other countries use the subtitled versions I've been making to see them too!

itch.io

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