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I have done this but don't see the option to upgrade the gauntlet to Hera by the fairy

You  cannot throw your gauntlet into the water?

no i won't let it is the one to the fairy that crafts items or am i in the wrong place?

No, the fairy who crafts items is not the one who upgrades tools. There is another fairy in a cave where you enter by breaking an entrance in a cracked wall right next to the library.