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The part before encounter feels deeply intimate like going through someone's diary. I have to re-read it to fully understand how I feel but for the first time it was a little hard for me to concentrate. We learn nothing about main character during prologue and after finishing it I was left with a feeling rather than facts about her. There is this atmosphere of longing and sadness but aside from that there’s nothing left inside my head that I can say about MC. For some reason I can’t recall what she was thinking about while she was alone.

Also with a different text box format there’s no distinction in text between what MC thinks or feels and her actions. Usually we read internal monologue then *click* it disappears and we get next few lines about what is our character doing. Here everything blurs into a wall of text.

For ex. 

 “At least for now she wants to figure out how she ends up here and for what reason.”

“She tests her limbs again, they’re heavy to move etc” 

Maybe you could change text color or use cursive writing to make those parts more distinguished?

Aside from that I really like what I see so far and characters’ backstories intrigue me to no end.

P. S. I’m sorry I’m not very good at giving praise (/□\*)・゜

(1 edit)

Hi hi! Thank you for the feedback! I do have the feeling that 'awakening' left a lot to be desired since it was a bit long and tedious. It will be fixed to offer more clarity and cohesion in the final game!

'Darkness', the one you mentioned, was meant to be ambiguous because the entire of the story follows the format of someone with missing memories recalling it by pieces. I honestly don't know how to fix this right now, so it'll be worked on as we go haha

The narration, I struggled with this a lot mostly because I didn't know which one to go with at first so it sort of mixed up right now. I'm going to try and make it clearer in next build, like breaking NVL page and paragraphs better. i will probably have to edit some parts into MC's thoughts too, so that it'd be clearer.

The story in the format of: internal monologue, on going story, internal monologue, flashback so it might get confusing. I will try to fix it and make more obvious in the final game, a flashback will also be updated tomorrow so that the preview would be more complete instead of hanging like this.

Again, thank you for the feedback! I'll do my best with the fixes!