Think about being in a romance relationship
picture yourself kissing someone, being kissed, romantic cuddles, how comfortable would you be saying i love you, would you feel uncomfortable if someone felt romantic feelings towards you, have you ever had a real irl crush before
and then do the same stuff but swap it out with sexy stuff
Also, a lot of people don't get actual proper sexual / romantic urges till their teens
Like i met my first crush this year (and I'm 15)
Technically I am a teen. And you start having crushes when you start going through puberty which I am going through.
I mean... idk, like I just don't see myself with another person or significant other but my brain tries to like force me into it, like peer pressure but you're the peers. Like "this is how it happens in all the movies so by law you are obligated to like this person" and I'm just like "ok??" You know.
I EXPLAINED IT fine I'll just explain again BUT BETTER THIS TIME
so I watched Jadien Animations' video about her being Aro/Ace and while watching I was like "weird, somehow this is slightly relatable to me even tho I'm not aro/ace" and then it just clicked. I noticed a pattern. Every time I "liked" someone it wasn't because I actually genuinely liked that person, you see the aforementioned "liking" of people only ever started after people started saying stuff like "oh you two look cute together" etc. at which point my brain was like "ok everyone is saying you look good together so the obvious thing to do here is to like that person" and then I'd be like "but... I don' want to, they're my friend." and then my brain would go "JUST FCKN DO IT" and it became a pattern. Or even if people didn't say anything but me and this person knew each other my brain would be like "the movies say that this is how it happens so the law says you now like this person" and again I don't really want to but it's like what else am I gonna do I didn't know anything I was a child. And it just keeps happening, and even in like boy bands or movies or stuff people would be like "omg this person is so cute" or "who would you date out of them" yk that stuff and I just never got it, so I picked a random one and just went along with it. I didn't understand why I didn't like any of them despite people saying these things, I thought it was just nothing until I watched Jaiden's video and it just clicked. Why I never really liked liked anyone. It was all just peer pressure or pressure from my brain to like someone even if I didn't and if I genuinely felt really excited about someone it was just because I really wanted to be close to them not have a romantic relationship with them. But now I'm over-thinking and am confused if I am aro/ace or if I'm just convincing myself I am.
IDK MY BRAIN IS WEIRD I CAN'T TRUST IT ON ANYTHING AT THIS POINT
