As not a game, but purely a visual novel, I think this was perfect.
There were some minor spelling and grammatical mistakes, but other than that, Simple as Snow is very good and unique.
If you ever decide to make an upgraded version of Simple as Snow or make a sequel for it, I'd suggest giving the player/reader some more details on the connection between the main characters(Lysa and Cyris).
I think the foundation of this VN is pretty good and I think it'll be really interesting if you upgrade this into a "choose your own story" kinetic visual novel.