It's fine, I try to stay calm as much as I can to be able to understand what I see it hard, sometimes you need to think for hours to manage things that may stop you for days, now I'm a different person and I have who help me to understand what's hard, I ask for help sometimes in forums and they save me much time, your Ego may be your only enemy when you think you have learnt enough so you try to manage everything by yourself until you give up, but for me I give up on everything now except mediation, praying, helping others, asking for help and studying, I feed my mind before my tummy, I care for knowledge and I ask for it. stay calm brother and be patient on yourself and me.
The day I will get better I will make videos and share the things that was hard for me and blocked my way to make it easier for others. they won't benefit me if I die keeping them for myself.