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a further question - on the girl card stat pages there is somethimes like a circle with a white/yellow bar that goes around the edge and a heart in the center. What is this for?

I thought it had something to do with a new scene available or something, but in this case (Asmedia) I've clicked through all of her spent time actiolns and her lewd scenes, and chose every branch, and it still says "New" with the red heart filled in.

That's an old element. You used to have to talk to the girls to unlock new events. It was removed, but the icons are still there.