The mystery here is super meticulously designed, and the deductions are incredibly challenging. In particular it was interesting working out the order that things happened in and who went in and out of the various rooms in what order. The prose, though, needs a serious haircut--it could be solidly 1/3 the length for the same experience. Its tone was kinda patronizing too, particularly how it kept trying to convince me that I'd really have more fun playing on easy mode. (In fact I found Purist mode easier, because the clues weren't buried in so much text.)
But hey--it's only a first draft! Trim some weight, trust your players to handle the deductions on our own, and a good time will be had by all.
Comments
You wrote that whole thing in a day? Daaaaaaang!
The mystery here is super meticulously designed, and the deductions are incredibly challenging. In particular it was interesting working out the order that things happened in and who went in and out of the various rooms in what order. The prose, though, needs a serious haircut--it could be solidly 1/3 the length for the same experience. Its tone was kinda patronizing too, particularly how it kept trying to convince me that I'd really have more fun playing on easy mode. (In fact I found Purist mode easier, because the clues weren't buried in so much text.)
But hey--it's only a first draft! Trim some weight, trust your players to handle the deductions on our own, and a good time will be had by all.