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A jam submission

Tardom's Desert AdventureView project page

An Age of Fantasy tale submitted on behalf of AE Marsh by her Father
Submitted by Hobby Fuzion — 18 hours, 55 minutes before the deadline
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Tardom's Desert Adventure's itch.io page

Results

CriteriaRankScore*Raw Score
Concepts & Originality#353.4803.650
Adherence to Theme#393.0993.250
Overall#453.0193.167
Flow & Clarity#492.4792.600

Ranked from 20 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.

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Comments

Submitted

You sure love your spit-take reactions. 'WHAAAAAT!?!'  Classic.

Thought Charles was going to turn out to be some sort of possessor Demon who knew Abasi in his alive-times. Kind of funny how Abasi (a former human themselves) seemed unable to distinguish a living human from a Rat-Folk... Do they perceive differently perhaps? Soul glows similar to heat patterns through a Predator Mask? Or do the undead have poor eyesight... from lack of eyeballs?

DeveloperSubmitted

LOL yes she does (and that is the toned-down version after she edited for word count) - I mentioned your comments to her which she said she would keep in mind if she decides to expand the story some.

Submitted

Having the story written in a journal was a word intensive process but it really helped the story. The fourth wall breaks stayed within the story. I stayed immersed within the story. I found the story really funny.

DeveloperSubmitted(+1)

Thank you for reading, I appreciate your comments and have relayed them to my daughter who thanks you as well.

Submitted

This was a really interesting read. Its one of those stories where I think a little bit more explanation would help specifically with how Abasi knew the humans, and why he made his decisions. Overall good story that could be fun to see extended.

DeveloperSubmitted

Thank you for reading! I asked my daughter what her thought process was on Abasi and she said she had trouble fitting more explanations into the word count :) She has expressed interest in expanding the story though so maybe we will see?