Play book
Liberat's itch.io pageResults
Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
Flow & Clarity | #1 | 4.391 | 4.391 |
Overall | #2 | 4.116 | 4.116 |
Concepts & Originality | #7 | 4.130 | 4.130 |
Adherence to Theme | #20 | 3.826 | 3.826 |
Ranked from 23 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
I narrated your short here;
Congratulations on placing in the top 3 of OPR Writing Jam #9! To claim your prize, please reach out to us on Patreon.
Hell yeah fellow rat fan, definitely one of the favorites of the jam
(Jerma references are also a +2)
I thoroughly enjoyed this one. Your descriptions were vivid, your prose was excellent (I loved "Kidding, of course. He'd laughed. I hadn't.") and I'm always here for a good rebel/underdog story. Big thumbs-up!
Very enjoyable, easy reading, and some subtle world building. Thanks for sharing!
Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to flow the greatest with the theme. I say unfortunately because I had such a great time that it hurts me to have to knock off a point or two for that.
Yeah, this was great. Loved the flow, and I’m always one for rooting for the underdog, so seeing a rat-person take on a battle brother is just my cup of tea.
Thank you for reading!
I think I get where you're coming from, but imo this story satisfied the theme just fine. It may not be a typical "members of two different factions team up" kind of story, but I think the concept of the protagonist being saved through an unexpected encounter with someone who's there for an entirely different reason (looting the ship) should place the story well within the confines of the prompt.
We'll have to agree to disagree there, but I see where you're coming from.
To me, an allyship would involve active participation from both sides, but again, that's all within the purviews of your conundrum of philosophy.
It's still a solid story with great action and a thus-far greatly unique premise. I just can't give it full marks regarding how laid-out I feel the theme was and is.
That's fair
My favorite so far! Your story is extremely well paced, with a good hook and a satisfying conclusion, and your flow and clarity is a breath of fresh air.
Yay! Glad you liked it! I'm a big fan of recommending folks take extra time to lockdown a real good opening line/paragraph. Eyeballs are hard to grab!
Excellently written, this felt like a perfect snapshot of a larger world. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thank you! ♥
More ratty love! Whoever that space rat was, I hope they continue doing what they are doing. Would love to see them in a sequel where we learn their name.
Yay! Space Rats! I love that OPR's take on Ratfolks, with GDF being survivors of experimentation and AoFs ones being straight up Noblebright knights. It's fun!
I liked your story. I'm going to read some in a video or stream. If I do any objection if I read yours?
No objection! I'd be honoured ♥
Solid opener to what feels like a larger story! I liked the rat.
Thank you! I like the rat too! I read the description of the Clan Rats in Grimdark Future and the idea of a former labrat turned revolutionary just stuck out as being a hella cool concept.
Mrs. Frisby with a plasma rifle.
SECRET OF NIMH 2: BLOOD HARVEST